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Can't believe it

Hope Shimmers

By Hope Shimmers,
in The Other Man / Woman

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Adoraxx

Adoraxx

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Hi everyone, I thought I would do one last update on this as sort of a finale. Those who know me here and know my story through this username and my last one, may get some Hope from it that there is huge light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I posted on another thread somewhere that the ex-MM had been contacting me, sent me iphone photos of divorce papers a few weeks ago (unsigned :lmao: ). And has been calling and emailing since then. I have ignored those.

 

It has been building up and I listened to a short voice mail he left 2 days ago. It asked me to give him five minutes on the phone. When he called the next day, I did.

 

He said "hang in there", whatever that means. Then he said he made a mistake. Then he started talking about how he is so lonely. And exhausted working 2 jobs. I said, "too bad you didn't take me up on my offer all those years ago to be together, because if you had, you would not have to be working at all right now." He said nothing and I hung up.

 

Not that it was ever about money, but the point was that money is not an issue for me so I made that go away as a barrier for him at the time; still it wasn't good enough.

 

The best part is that I have a good female friend who knows all of this background stuff with ex-MM and I told her I was going to take his call and put an end to this crap. She emailed me the day after I did that, and I replied to her and literally FORGOT to even tell her about that call. I forgot that I even talked to him until about 2 hours after I sent the email and realized I hadn't answered her question.

 

So yes, you can get these worthless men OUT of your mind space. If I can, anyone can. I would say that apathy feels wonderful, but the truth is, apathy feels like nothing. Exactly what I wanted.

 

And it doesn't hurt that there is a guy who is a thousand times the man that ex-MM is who now occupies my brain space.

 

I'm so happy for you!! So happy that you're with a REAL man now ;) and I hope to feel complete apathy towards the xMM one day too!!

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gettingstronger

gettingstronger

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Awesome- I so agree with so much you said- I get the money thing, he had the chance to be with a good woman and you removed a barrier in his life and for whatever reason he chose to stay in an unworkable pattern- now you on the other hand have grown and changed and found someone worthy of you- do tell on the new guy thing.....

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DKT3

DKT3

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Good for you Hope, best wishes to you and getting everything you deserve in your new relationship.

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Hope Shimmers

Hope Shimmers

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Thanks everyone. Life does go on!

 

do tell on the new guy thing.....

 

I second this motion for more info.

 

Hmmm. Well, he is tall, dark, handsome, smart, and a total troublemaker. Exactly the type I tend to go for. No boring men for me.

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Mazerati

Mazerati

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Thanks everyone. Life does go on!

 

 

 

 

 

Hmmm. Well, he is tall, dark, handsome, smart, and a total troublemaker. Exactly the type I tend to go for. No boring men for me.

 

Lol, enjoy this new life, Hope!!!

 

Maz

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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So he was hoping you'd "hang in there" for however long (nice touch on his behalf though to send you "unsigned" divorce papers!!) until maybe someday he'd come back to you. Ha, bite me a-hole!

 

Glad you're looking forward and not backwards. Have fun with the handsome man..

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beach

beach

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He said "hang in there", whatever that means. Then he said he made a mistake. Then he started talking about how he is so lonely. And exhausted working 2 jobs. I said, "too bad you didn't take me up on my offer all those years ago to be together, because if you had, you would not have to be working at all right now." He said nothing and I hung up.

 

 

 

 

This is classic Hope!

 

 

It's interesting that he's still playing that "poor me" card.

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endingpage

endingpage

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Your story gives me a lot of hope that one day I will be just as apathetic as you are to my ex-MM. I can feel I am nearly there but I'd still be weak if he figured out a way to contact me. Fortunately I have him blocked in all the ways I can think of and am well on my way.

 

I can't wait!!! Please keep updating about your new man :)

 

Also your ex-MM is stuck in self pity which is just sooooo unattractive. I liked your response to him; that's a real figurative punch to the nuts.

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Hope Shimmers

Hope Shimmers

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Your story gives me a lot of hope that one day I will be just as apathetic as you are to my ex-MM. I can feel I am nearly there but I'd still be weak if he figured out a way to contact me. Fortunately I have him blocked in all the ways I can think of and am well on my way.

 

That is a lot of progress. You will get there. If I did anyone can.

 

I can't wait!!! Please keep updating about your new man :)

 

He's hot. :) And so much more.

 

Also your ex-MM is stuck in self pity which is just sooooo unattractive. I liked your response to him; that's a real figurative punch to the nuts.

 

Thank you. I have no idea what I saw in him. I guess I did kick him in the balls and the overinflated ego at the same time, which is great. He has nothing I want.

 

Remember that song... "Unanswered Prayers"?

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m4p

m4p

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So so happy for you... there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel- a tall, dark and handsome light. :lmao:

 

Jokes aside, whatever the outcome it is with the new man, what's most important is that you got out of the whole mess with xMM and has found happiness and fulfillment in your own life. That is what all of us here aspire to be able to do, I would think. Proud of you and please do "hang in there", lol. Not for xMM, but for you :)

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ttfn555

ttfn555

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Hope you are so inspiring, really! I think once we step away and really see the traits and character of these people, we realize they are not people we would actually want to be with...I think if I had met the MM( who was legally separated at the time) down the road, as a single person, I probably would have not been with him long as he is so self-absorbed, down-trodden and constantly a victim. This would annoy me in any other man.

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gettingstronger

gettingstronger

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Troublemaker? :D Good trouble I assume- go out and cause some trouble together- congrads and he is a lucky guy-you are mentally strong and have a lot of pent up love to share- cheers to you both!

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DKT3

DKT3

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So so happy for you... there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel- a tall, dark and handsome light. :lmao:

 

Jokes aside, whatever the outcome it is with the new man, what's most important is that you got out of the whole mess with xMM and has found happiness and fulfillment in your own life. That is what all of us here aspire to be able to do, I would think. Proud of you and please do "hang in there", lol. Not for xMM, but for you :)

 

I agree, I think it goes a long way in showing that there is a great guy around the corner if your open to it and not consumed with MM.

 

Good for you Hope.

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Hope Shimmers

Hope Shimmers

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Troublemaker? :D Good trouble I assume- go out and cause some trouble together- congrads and he is a lucky guy-you are mentally strong and have a lot of pent up love to share- cheers to you both!

 

Mostly good trouble :) Thank you so much gettingstronger. You are one of my favorite people here and I am grateful for your words and your support.

 

I agree, I think it goes a long way in showing that there is a great guy around the corner if your open to it and not consumed with MM.

 

Good for you Hope.

 

You and I have butted heads (okay, mostly me butting your head) for the last year and a half or so that you have been here. But, I could not have been more wrong about you. You have taught me a great deal, more than I can say. Thank you.

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still_an_Angel

still_an_Angel

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Awesome news Hope! hot guy too! yummy! All the best.

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gettingstronger

gettingstronger

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Hope- back at you- I think there is a group of us that have really grown together-it helps with the isolation of not having anyone IRL (besides my spouse and therapist) to really learn and listen to and of course be heard-

 

Your story in particular is one of personal growth- you have taught me not to continually make excuses for someone I love- I recall you going to great lengths to defend "that guy"- I remember thinking, ick... until I looked at me and saw I was doing the same thing-

 

So- under "I can't believe it"- I can't believe how far we have all come and that we are all still standing-

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Hope Shimmers

Hope Shimmers

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This will probably be my last post here, but I had to share this. I have nowhere else to share it, and she deserves the sharing.

 

This is for my daughter Alize (pronounced AL-iz-ay; her name is a Latina one, for her dad [not that he was ever there)].

 

This was written by my great friend Mazerati on this forum, for her and for me. Thank you Maz - more than I can say - for this gift and for your incredible friendship. And thank you for letting me share it here.

 

My Alize

 

 

For a fleeting moment the Clouds of Heaven gave you to me to love,

I treasured your tiny beauty, for you flew in on the wings of a dove.

 

I held you, cradled you and tenderly kissed your cheek,

my tears fell hard because I realized I was only given this brief wondrous peek.

 

 

In my breaking heart I knew you couldn't stay,

so I kissed you one final time before the Trade Winds carried you away.

 

 

Alize my beautiful darling child, please hear my Heavenly song,

For your Mother's forever love is caring, great, and strong.

 

 

Dear one, you will always be with me in my aching heart,

Because deep in my soul I know we shall never be apart.

For when I feel the warm breeze caress my tear streaked face,

I always sense your loving presence and your undying grace.

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ttfn555

ttfn555

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I know I haven't been here for long, but what a beautiful thing to read something about unadulterated, pure love, friendship, kindness and empathy. An amazing testament to human strength and resilience, we need more compassion, unconditional love, and true empathetic support. thank you for posting that, I am touched just reading it.

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MuddyFootprints

MuddyFootprints

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Such a beautiful tribute. Soar on in peace and love, Ms. Hope and sweet baby Alize.

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GoldieLox

GoldieLox

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This will probably be my last post here

 

I do hope you mean on this thread and not on the boards for good, Hope. I think your words have helped me more than most here, and I find you to be such an asset to us here.

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