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My turn to spill it and ask for help.


forever_young

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forever_young

3 weeks ago my BF of a year and 7 months broke up with me... I was upset to say the least but seem to be recovering far better than I have in the past from break ups. in the last week I started to wonder if Im more upset that I don't have him anymore or that I just don't have anyone.

 

Maybe all along I was just infatuated with him. I liked the idea of someone wanting to be with me emotionally and sexually. Maybe I love him but arn't IN love with him... and I think that IN is important.

 

The last at least 7 months of our relationship we fought all the time. I was depressed. He was being smothered and along with his and my other issues some how along the way something changed. I think he saw the lack of "us" a long time ago but also liked the idea of being with someone. We get along great on a friends level (lots to talk about and enjoy being with one another) but we weren't working out in a relationship.

 

My problem is being his friend now.. when I saw him today the only real feeling I had was sexual attraction. But I need to figure out if Im making myself think that I can be his friend already and not having other feelings or not. Is it possible to be friends with someone after that length of a relationship so soon. Or am I just kidding myself.

 

I know that I couldn't' see him with some one else... and quite frankly don't know if Ill ever be able to. Does this mean that I do have more feelings for him than I think or Im just possessive.

 

He is dealing with the whole situation alot better than I am. He is enjoying the freedom, the not having to worry about anyone or making plans or anything. He doesn't know if he ever really loved me and knows that if he did his feelings changed a while ago. He thinks he "broke up" with me a long time ago but neither one of us let go. From talking to him im pretty sure he suppressing most of the emotions he has. the enjoyment factor of being single is far stronger than the little amount of happiness we had the last chunk of our relationship.

 

I have been a worlwind of emotions. From "not giving up on us" to I will never see him again, (after we get our stuff etc) I accept that and am just trying to work on me and move on. It took me a couple of days to take down the pictures (thats when I didn't want to give up).. but today I took off the ring he gave me a year ago. It scares me i feel naked with out it. but again I don't know if its because there is no him/us or that Im alone now.

 

Im alone now.

 

yeah that thought hurts....

 

I have plans to hang out with him and other friends next Friday (I asked to make the plans). He knows that I don't know how im going to feel about it.. If ill be able to... etc. If plans change he is going to call me if not its all a matter of if i show up or not. If not we will then make plans to get our stuff back from one another and let it all end.

 

Like i said i just saw him today and had the different feelings. I have time to think about it. and im sure that my thoughts on it will change often. i just thought i would spill my brains and get others opinions on it.

 

FY

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bluechocolate

He is dealing with the whole situation alot better than I am.

 

Of course he is. He broke up with you - he wanted it to end - therefore he is now happier.

 

Is it possible to be friends with someone after that length of a relationship so soon.

 

In my opinion & experience - no.

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prayformydownfall

agree with the above really, u have to replace all the emotions and memories that you had with him with memories of yourself... only then will u truly be able to be friends with him

 

then again if it hurts u so much, y do u want to be friends with him, or are you hoping that one day he will suddenly relaise its u he wants??

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