joel Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 ok i'm a 24 yr old asian guy dateless and gf less, yes never been in a relationship. . ok all i am saying is is it common for asian guy-chinese cbc to be like this or is it just me. what can u do to overcome this? it comes from overprotective parents, sheltered life, controlling folks. growing up parents made a big deal on school and marks and nothing on social life and freinds, actually it was discoraged to have freinds or be social, -jsut be quite. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 You're very hung up on being the person you are. Just 'be'. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Originally posted by joel it comes from overprotective parents, sheltered life, controlling folks. growing up parents made a big deal on school and marks and nothing on social life and freinds, actually it was discoraged to have freinds or be social, -jsut be quite. I will join your self-loathing parade here for few minutes. Yes, it is all the above and being asian-indian I went thru same krap growing up. I know exactly what u mean but at some point you need to live your own life and break free and do what u want to. Your parents are correct in many areas, esp about the schooling and getting good grades cause this will get u good high paying job later on. And when u get older and make good $$$ then u get good looking girls. You have nice car, jobs, suit, watch, house, plus you smart and good personality then you get women. Period. And it is very common even for non-asian dudes of 24 to have not had a g/f. At this age you know little of dealing with females. if you are smart it will come to you over time. Now I will extricate myself from your self-loathing parade. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 joel i dont want to flame you, but all the posts i've seen from you are self loathing and negativity about yourself. negative thoughts fuel insecurities. here's a famous quote from descartes, "you think therefore you are" the power of the mind is not to be underestimated. i know where you're coming from, im asian myself. You bathe in your pool of bitterness, who's going to pity you?? seriously who? if you're not going to put yourself out there and make something of yourself, no one will do the job for you. In this world, you should learn to be more independent. my apologies on being rough, but you need a wake up call from someone at least. The first step in gaining that independence is moving out of your parents house, and calling your own shots, you are the man of your house & YOUR LIFE. just think about what i said... Link to post Share on other sites
SummerRae Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I will join your self-loathing parade here for few minutes. Yes, it is all the above and being asian-indian I went thru same krap growing up. I know exactly what u mean but at some point you need to live your own life and break free and do what u want to. Your parents are correct in many areas, esp about the schooling and getting good grades cause this will get u good high paying job later on. And when u get older and make good $$$ then u get good looking girls. You have nice car, jobs, suit, watch, house, plus you smart and good personality then you get women. Period. And it is very common even for non-asian dudes of 24 to have not had a g/f. At this age you know little of dealing with females. if you are smart it will come to you over time. Now I will extricate myself from your self-loathing parade. Alpha, u r such an a$$ sometimes! Link to post Share on other sites
SummerRae Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 I haven't read your other posts Joel, but I can assure you that everyone feels insecure at least sometimes. What you need to do for YOU is find YOURSELF. Find what brings you joy. What brings a smile on your face. What lights a candle under your a$$ on the worst of days. By fulfilling yourself, to the best of your ability, you will find love, dates, and all the rest of it. Just have faith. Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 Originally posted by SummerRae I haven't read your other posts Joel, but I can assure you that everyone feels insecure at least sometimes. What you need to do for YOU is find YOURSELF. Agreed. I knew an Thai guy that was athletic, not much of a scholar, who was outgoing and always flirting with girls. It's really not about your ethnicity, but how you view yourself. There's plenty of more reserved people who didn't start dating until they were older, and 24 isn't very old. Join an organization that you're interested in--you'll meet people who share your same interests. If you like to work out, join a gym. If you like certain bands, go to music stores and concerts and talk to others. You'll gain a lot more confidence, and it will be easier to talk to women you'd like to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Rocdiva Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 Originally posted by monkey00 joel i dont want to flame you, but all the posts i've seen from you are self loathing and negativity about yourself. I too have read your other posts, I had to respond on the "tall and small in d*ck size" thread that you started, and must concur with Monkey00. It sounds as though tearing yourself is all that you know do. On top of that you make reference to your being "Asian" as somehow being a big part of the problem. I understand there are varying aspects from culture to culture that can be 'hinderances', but just the fact that you are Asian does not put you at a disadvantage. You have to assess the man that you are as well as the man that you wish to be. Approach it logically and take inventory of what makes you who you are, what you like about yourself as well as what you don't. Then devise a plan to get to where you want to go. Have you ever thought that maybe the reason you are alone is because you have not developed enough as 'Joel' in order to be a viable partner in a relationship? Use your alone time to become the man that you desire and need to be. You say that you focused on education and good marks? Use those tools and apply them to your life. It's just like in programming, " If this then that." If you do this then that will more than likely occur. "If" you focus and take a truthful inventory of your manhood and your glory "then" all "that" you desire will become who you are. "Now go take on the Day!" Link to post Share on other sites
aznflava Posted September 17, 2005 Share Posted September 17, 2005 Take some antidepressants. See a counsellor. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted September 17, 2005 Share Posted September 17, 2005 Alpha you gotta just be confident in your asian-ness ! We dig that .....~! Link to post Share on other sites
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