Can you tell me what I should do with my relationship or Idek what to call it

[bgknoccout]

Over 2 years ago when working in NY, i worked with a Dominican girl that I ended up liking. She liked me too. Us both being in a relationship nothing ever ended up working out. Now both single, we have reconnected. Few months ago I moved to NJ, where she is still in NY. We talked as friends for a few weeks then when hanging out she went for holding me and kissing me the first night. Since then for about 2 months almost every weekend to ever other weekend, she been using public transportation to get to me to hangout. We always had sex, we pretty much acted like we were together or at least on the path like something was going to happen..

Now here lies the problem. I asked her upfront before and after being intimate, what am I to her. I asked are we just friends, do you want to be f**k buddies, or take it slow to see where it goes. She did always say she still doesn't wanna be in a relationship but her response was always "see where it goes." Over the last 2-3 months I did start to fall for her. I let her know that. But before I did she may have started to get the idea and she was backing off not calling me as much and stuff..

We argued recently because she blew me off and discussing that I do love her made her delete me off Instagram. She seemed mad that I fell for her because she thought like her that I could "separate the 2 from each other." (feelings from sex) She has said countless that she likes me and cares for me, but "liking someone isn't enough to be in a relationship with someone." We made up though, only to agree we will try to be friends not intimacy. Now just being friends is killing me..

Talking to each other is different. And knowing she did use like because her exact words after I told her I have feelings for her was "I used you to get away." I still can't gain the courage to throw her out of my life so we agreed to a friendship when I can't handle just that. For the record, I never been the type to just hook up with someone with no emotions attached. Now actually doing it I know I never can. I'm not that type of person..

It's pretty pathetic I'm taking anti-depressants over this. Please, any helpful advice I'd be so grateful. I don't need any more harsh words, my so called friends gave me enough of that "tough love."

 

fyi, I'm a gay woman and she claims to be "pan-sexual" smh

[preraph]

I'm sorry you're having a commitment problem with this girl. Usually it's the girls having this problem with the guys, but it can certainly happen to anyone. I just think you ought to calmly ask her if there is some practical reason why she isn't ready for a real boyfriend. She may not want to have that talk, as many guys refuse to have the talk. It could be she knows family wouldn't approve or something like that. At least you'd know if she'll tell you. Otherwise, all you can do is back out of her life if that's what she wants. So sorry.