R3d Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 (edited) I have never had problems finding a personal hobby really. That's because I would just play card games and video games (and sometimes chess or do magic tricks). I have been a nerd during a lot of my childhood. The last thing I was into was League of Legends, but I haven't been much into it for the past 7 months and I have officially given it up a couple weeks ago because I just won't have the time and my parents hate me playing and it always starts conflicts in the house. The thing is that for the past 7 months, about 90-95% of my wake-time thinking has been spent on the topics of love, sex, relationships, dating, and courtship. You can probably tell from how much I am online posting about these things (and this isn't the only forum I am on). The problem is that isn't really a good way to live, like I have noticed. You should always strive to be able to live happily with no SO. The element I am missing is a personal hobby I am passionate about. That has always kept my life going. But I haven't been able to find one that I can get passionate about. I will join a club or two at school but again, those won't really be the source for my personal hobby. A personal hobby by my definition is something I can do individually and gives me something to think about. This will be able to get my mind off of all this stuff so much, give me something else to think about, and be able to live happily and satisfactorily with no SO, which in turn will actually make me more attractive and increase my chances in the dating scene. Ideas? I have never had a problem finding a hobby, until now for some reason. EDIT: Also, I do cycling which I guess you could call a personal hobby, but it doesn't get my mind off of love, sex, relationships, dating, and coursthip which is what my main goal is with this. Edited September 2, 2014 by R3d 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 At your age, my suggestion would be to try a bunch of different things and see what speaks to you. I recall, prior to peer integration, which you're well into now, my parents exposed me to many different things, so of which I abhorred (music was one!) and others which I loved (electronics, as an example). By the time I was your age, hobbies were firmly entrenched, mainly surrounding engineering/electronics and engines/car stuff. I also had developed what would become a lifelong interest in cycling, mainly growing out of all things, a paper route, which back then we had a rack and bags on the back of our bike and man it was hard work. In any event, such interests almost caused the interest in girls to pass me by, since I was so immersed. So, hence, try some stuff but stay focused on the girls too. Everything in moderation! Myself, if I were advising a son, it would be school and personal growth first, then girls and hobbies sharing the remainder in relatively equal amounts. By personal growth, I'm talking about the pursuit of spirituality or faith, as well as same sex social relationships, meaning friendships with other young men. The process is imperfect so don't be too hard on yourself if you don't get it right. Stay alive and you'll have a whole life to figure stuff out. No worries. It'll come. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TayTay415 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Since you like cycling, why not join a cycling club? Meet new people, make friends. Who knows, maybe one of the guys in it has a sister or a female friend who you meet and hit it off with and then --- 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 IM kinda like the poster above....When I do something, I usually go in all the way....For me its always been about building cars and weight training..As I grew older, I became interested in houses and restoration of them, and the equity markets....which turned into a lucrative enterprises, btw....None of these things were done with the idea of attracting women, as its just what I enjoy doing...Surprisingly, though you would be amazed how much women like a guy that is passionate about things like this..So it works for your benefit-even though that wasnt the original purpose.. Its good that you have recognized the problem and are willing to explore it..My advice is to pick something that challenges both the mind and body...Computer stuff, while not bad, I dont think are the answer..Do something that challenges you in a physical way...It will make you tired and kill off some of the sexual tension and preoccupation with getting women... Good luck TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Game less, get out more. Cycle. Lift weights if you don't already. Anything that occupies your body and mind concurrently. Yoga. Dance. Read. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Thruster Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 get out of the house! there is a real fun thing going on outside called life Go live it up -- fall down - get dirty - try anything It's a blast out there pal Ohhh - -and there are girls out there also Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 With cycling your mind can still wander, I know it because I daydream all the time when I'm biking. It doesn't really engage me unless I'm going somewhere new and need to pay attention to road signs and so on. Something that engages your mind a bit more will help with the daydreaming. I think you should try different things until you find something that works for you . . . photography, reading, cooking. If you learn to cook, women will love that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 MMA!!!!!! It's without a doubt the best thing for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author R3d Posted September 3, 2014 Author Share Posted September 3, 2014 Yeah, actually one of the reasons I ride my bike is that I get good exercise while being able to daydream all I want in nature (this trail is actually one of my future date ideas), so yeah, that's why I said, cycling doesn't really help. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 I am a bit house bound at the moment.......i feel a bit jaded ......so i am just reading some book and bunkering down for a while.....i am on loveshack of course......my hand reaching out sort of thing... i am reading five books simultaneously at the moment ..reading is a hobby/past time to me..i am also reading the dictionary...words and their origins fascinate me....i journal every day and write five poems a day even if they are incomplete.......i did set up a lunch date though for tomorrow with a friend..she is around my daughters age and they would have so much in common, they are both a little shy but they have this really streak of quirky humor underneath..... .....i am hoping my daughter will come along too.....my daughter needs true friends and thsi woman is one who i know would be a true friend....so i am trying to be a friend matchmaker....i also enjoy talking to this lady....she is a really caring person...so even though i am housebound...i will push myself to go out....i also go to church every week as a staple have to go.....i embrace my spirituality jaded or not...... what i am trying to say is you just have to try things.....to push yourself out of your comfort zone occasionally to grow......i have failed to take some challenges i set for myself this week.....but i will keep trying.......so as another poster has stated trying and expecting to like some things you take up or find out things are for you are not for you ....its all imperfect perfecting......you will get there....deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 I found a hobby in cooking. Being married twice, I finally got tired of canned soup and started reading recipes and took up cooking. Paid off a couple of times when I asked a lady to come over for dinner. One of the lady said how nice is was that a guy would make dinner for her. The rest of the evening went even better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 Horses....they will tire you out and if you start thinking about love, sex etc. you will find yourself on the ground or with a mashed toe. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author R3d Posted September 3, 2014 Author Share Posted September 3, 2014 Actually, what I meant is that I need a personal goal. Something to work towards that I can think about and possibly halve the amount of time I spend thinking about LSRDC (love, sex, relationsips, dating, and courtship) (ex. write a novel). Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Write a bucket list and start trying to check stuff off. Link to post Share on other sites
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