Having mixed thoughts about my friends mixed messages

[Browneyes18]

After a couple of months my friend that i had fallen in love with finally found out that i loved her because i told her. At first it didn't really change things but after she said that she doesn't think that she would ever have the same feelings about me, i decided to stop chasing after broken dreams. at first i stopped calling her but after a week i still couldn't get her out of my head so i called her.

 

After our talk, i told her that i'll take care of her, be there for her, and everything else but only as a friend, and she was okay with it because she still wanted to be friends. After a couple of weeks we started spending time together like going to parties, and hanging out at her house watching movies. since i started acting like a friend instead of acting like someone that likes her, she starts acting differently towards me.

 

for example, we would both say sexual comments or jokes to each other a lot, like were flirting. And the last time i spent time with her i told her i had to go but she didn't want me to leave, and the next day when i talked to her on the phone, she said that she likes it when im around. she also talks different with me on the phone and sounds more sincere when she talks to me.

 

i'm so confused because i don't know whether she's starting to have feelings for me or am i just taking it the wrong way and she's just acting like a friend? I don't want to open my heart again if she's just gonna throw it away. Please, i need someones opinion or advice ASAP!

[greeneyedgirl23]

It sounds like she likes the fact that you have feelings for her. She is playing a game with you because she wants to have her cake and eat it too! She likes you, but yet, she wants you to chase after her. She sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. I bet if you back off for a while, and start hanging out with other friends, she will get to thinking that she wants you even more. She will come around when she realizes that she misses having you there at her becking call!

 

Give it a try. Once she see's that your life goes on without her, she will be begging to have you! Play a little game of hard to get back with her and see how it goes!

[Marshbear]

If you really want to see if she likes you or just the attention she gets from you play her and see. I would talk about a new love interest and see her reaction. If she gets jelous then she likes you. I f she says that's nice then you need to move on. You are just hurting yourself if you stay. She is fine with the friends thing because she either doesn't have feelings for you or just friendship feelings. If a true friend knew that you had feeling for them and they didn't return those feelings then they should let the friendship go because they should know how they would feel if the roles were reversed.

 

Good luck

[ReluctantRomeo]

Originally posted by Marshbear

If you really want to see if she likes you or just the attention she gets from you play her and see. I would talk about a new love interest and see her reaction. If she gets jelous then she likes you. I f she says that's nice then you need to move on.

 

 

Marshbear is spot on.

[kit4kat]

I agree with everyone who responded!

 

She probably likes being liked. You told her you'd be there to care for her and all that good stuff, but as a friend. To her that means "I get to keep my friend without feeling awkward... YES!!!" (I know because its happened to me). If you're starting to wonder if she does have feelings for you, back off for a bit. Give her time to think and sort things out. She'll wrestle with not having you there when she wants you there, and she'll wonder whats going on and if she's done something wrong... but it'll give her time to evaluate how she really sees you. Are you a friend, or are you more?

 

I'm not sure about ending the friendship. Everyone is different. Some people want to keep those that they love close, and others just want to let them go and move on. I wouldn't say that if she was a true friend that she'd just let you go, depending on the nature of your friendship you might actually need her in your life, or vice versa.

 

Now the talking about a love interest... thats always a good idea! How she reacts will be a dead giveaway on how she truly feels about you. Every girl, even the ones who aren't jealous by nature, will feel a twinge of pain if they might lose someone they care deeply about... you just have to know how to read them.

 

Good luck!