Beautiful worker at the grocery store

[hasaquestion]

I know she has faults, she looks like a very faulty person. She looks like a typical Caucasian hipster girl, or at least an ex-hipster, with a tattoo on her neck and all that jazz. To be quite honest, I like the challenge of winning over somebody who is too cool or maybe even bad for me, that challenge is what I'm attracted to when I say "mysterious personality". Well that and her face which to me is quite beautiful.

 

Man, I'm very shallow aren't I?

 

You're not necessarily shallow. You just sound like you've got a lot to learn. That's all.

 

You obviously think she's attractive. You keep coming back to talking to her and sizing her up visually (sounds like you did this without realizing it). Yet you haven't asked for her number or anything. That's dissonant behavior. Your actions say one thing ("I am interested in you") and your words say something else ("how is the weather? can you heat this for me?")

[hasaquestion]

OP, after several threads of yours, I feel like your biggest "problem" is that you approach women with an agenda.

 

Flirting is about living in the moment.

 

The long-winded messages on dating sites, the psychoanalysis of the grocery store girl... you think a lot and invest a lot of interest in these girls. You've made a routine out of talking to this girl at the grocery store. You've declared to all these people a significant level of interest... without really getting to know them.

 

When you have an agenda, it shows. When you go to the table with the outcome in mind, people can tell.

 

Flirting is "flirty" when neither party has such an agenda. Flirting is about exploration. I don't owe you anything, I don't know if I find you attractive, but I'm curious. That nuance seems to be missing from your interactions - subconsciously or otherwise you are betraying a lot of interest and it comes off too strong.

 

You really look fine. That's not your problem at all IMO.

[preraph]

She might have just been in a bad mood about something else, but don't overdo going in there, or you're right, it might seem a bit creepy. But when you do go in there, strike up a trivial conversation "Man, you work a lot. Everytime I come in, you're working." See if that gets her talking. If all she does is grunt, move on. But if she starts talking, tell her you saw her on her bike or however you know that and tell her you also ride and does she do it for fun or just to get to work. if she says for fun ever, there's your opening to ask her to ride somewhere.