Blessed30 Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 Well, it's been a few months since my last post. I've been doing ok! I have my ups and downs, since the whole finding out my boyfriend has been looking for same sex relations on Craigslist. This has been such a roller coaster. At times I have anger inside me and I want to out him out to the congregation so bad, but I know that so many people will be hurt. However, I have moved on with my life building the pieces of what I left of me. I'm growing stronger with each day, but I still don't understand. How could I have missed the signs? How could have not known? How can a minister live so dangerously? Link to post Share on other sites
WonderKid Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 You have moved on with your life. So let's try not to ponder the past right now. You can learn from it or run from it. If you learned from it you won't need to ask yourself these questions because you'll already know what to look for. Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 He was/is a minister? That won't end well. You know, sometimes there are red flags that stand out like a sore thumb and you look back and wonder how you didn't see them. But that's the thing, it's hard to see them when you are involved within the relationship. Now it all makes sense I am sure. You'll make the right decision the next time I am sure. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 People can be married to somebody for years when that person leaves them for a same-sex relationship. Perhaps they were in denial/the closet that whole time, perhaps they thought it what they wanted and they couldn't live a lie anymore, perhaps they saw themselves privately as bi-sexual all along. It's nothing you can change, you can't beat yourself up about it, sometimes there are no signs, and it's no reflection on you. I'd probably be less upset if a boyfriend left me for another guy than another woman, because I'd feel as though he wanted to be with a guy which I couldn't offer, whereas if he left for a woman it'd feel like I wasn't as good as her. Also how are you finding this stuff out? The first thing you can do to get over it is to start blocking every aspect of him from your life if you don't have stuff like kids that mean you need to speak. That means blocking him on social media, deleting and blocking his number if he messages you or is at risk of doing so, if mutual friends start trying to gossip stop them dead and say 'sorry, I'm past all that now and I don't need or want to know what he's up to because I'm moving on'. Don't go googling for him or scouring Craigslist. I have had my heart broken a few times and every last one of those times the only way I got over it was by eliminating every trace of them from my lives, deleting the photos and all of the above, it's really hard to heal a wound when you keep niggling at it and ripping the new scabs away. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts