should Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 Hello guys, I find myself in quite a difficult position. Here is my story: My husband and I have been married for 3 years, together for 5 years. He is in the military Marine Corps. During our marriage we argued a ton of times, I felt alone and when he got orders to move to a different state things just got worse, as I didnt know anyone. I believe I suffer from anxiety and now definitely depression. He is a severe alcoholic and has an obsession with his penis, I know that during our marriage he was faithful, one year ago though, our arguments were escalating and I would feel so desperate I would thread to commit suicide. Looking back I know that was not the best cry for help. He hates arguments and I have so much resentment I no longer know how to communicate any longer. In one of our arguments I told him he needed to go as I needed some time, he spend the night at a hotel, the next morning I checked his cellphone and found pictures of a girl naked and I broke down completely. I asked him to stop and delete the picture, he cried as he could see how that hurt me deeply. To my surprise he did not delete the picture, he just created a secret account and continue chatting with this girl. our arguments did not stop. throughout the whole thing I had been his voice in the military as he was getting ready to get out and I told him he was showing strong behaviors of PTSD and I made so many calls to base doctors, his command and the list can go on an on. He was extended and sent to an inpatient treatment, before he went he had almost two bottles of whiskey. the inappropriate behavior never stop in fact it got worse. we have been separated for now 3 months and he had sex with more then one woman, he is cruel and I keep begging pretty much to repair our marriage, he agree two days ago I can move back to the house and says if I bring any argument from the past its over FOREVER. I dont know what to do. This just makes me feel so stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 Just divorce. He has no interest in fixing your problems and it takes two to make a marriage work. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 he is cruel and I keep begging pretty much to repair our marriage, he agree two days ago I can move back to the house and says if I bring any argument from the past its over FOREVER. I dont know what to do. This just makes me feel so stupid. Pretty clear you'd be doomed from the beginning under those conditions. How can you avoid repeating the mistakes that have damaged your marriage without resolving the issues that got you to this point ? You can't "want" something for him, he has to want it for himself. And right now he doesn't seem to want to participate in a marriage. You'll have to plan accordingly... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tippydog90 Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 DO NOT GO BACK. You said it yourself, he is cruel - look at his behavior. He is not willing to address any of the problems that brought you to this point, I am sure he would say counseling is out of the question. Repeat after me, DO NOT GO BACK. He sounds unstable and you could be putting yourself in a very bad situation. The ONLY way I would even consider working on a marriage like you describe is he does all of the following 1) stops drinking, 2) gets counseling immediately and long term, and 3) stays with all of the above for several months at a minimum (before you even consider returning). Do not beg him for anything. Hold your head high and walk away from this marriage and do it now. You will not regret that decision, though it will be hard at first. PTSD is extremely difficult to get a handle on in many instances and he has a long road ahead of him. He has to be willing to walk that road. If he isn't, there is NOTHING you can do or say that will change him. I know from experience. Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 (edited) He's telling you he does not want to work on the relationship by saying not to "argue" about anything from the past. He's cheated on you multiple times and apparently has no issue with lying to you. This relationship will never work under these conditions. It's time to cut your losses and crawl out of the nightmare in which you're living. It it takes 2 to make a relationship work and you cannot control anyone else but yourself. If you continue to stay with him as he is, you are to blame for your own misery. Edited September 3, 2014 by seekingpeaceinlove Link to post Share on other sites
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