She Is Driving Me Crazy!!!

[prncssfce9]

Maybe you guys can help me with this ....

 

I have this friend ... I met her about a year ago and we have been pretty good friends. She was married when I met her, and pregnant. Her daughter is now 9 months old and she left her husband in December (for pretty valid reasons). He was really controlling of her ... would check the miles on her car to make sure she was only going to work and back .. she wan't allowed to get calls after 7:30pm and if anyone did call he made her hang up. He would yell at her about stuid things and he'd yell at the baby for crying!!

 

Talking to me one day, she let some things about him slip ... a previous marriage, 2 other children (not by his wife) and a domestic violence arrest ... the worst part ... this guy is 24!

 

Anyway .. so one day in december their baby started crying and couldn't really be calmed down ... she had a double ear infection and was just miserable ... he husband screamed at the baby telling her to shut up ... at this point my friend had had enough and finally spoke up. She told him not to yell at their daughter and he resposded with ..... get your bank account.

 

So she threw some things in a bag ... and came to my house. I let he stay with me and my fiance until she got back on her feet .... but things went south really fast.

 

She began to really oer step be bounds ... she rearranged my kitchen ... complained that the spare bedroom was too small ... and would disapper all day and leave my fiance or me babysitting ... never calling even to check in!! He eventually got pissed off and made that clear ... although he never said anything. But the day she brought home apartment flyers and said she found a new apartment for "us" that would give her a bigger bedroom .... well that was she wrote...

 

About a week later she moved out and in with her brother and his girlfriend. But this pattern of behaior continued. (a little background .... her boyfriend's girlfriend is also a good friend of mine ... but she and the friend in question don't really get along) Anyway ... my friend "Alice" as I will call her to eliminate confusion, and her daughter "Tori" moved with her brother "Jim" and his girlfriend "kelly".. (Hope that helps ... for the the record none of these are real names!

 

"Alice" kept up her pattern of inconsiderate behavior ... she asked Kelly to watch the baby for her while she went to work ... offering her $100 a month!! Yeah ... but on top of the she would go out all night with her friends .... she would make plans that would conflict with plans kelly had ... and then still stick her with watching the baby. Kelly was too nice to say anything ... b/c she really wants to get along with Alice ... but eventually she got frustrated with her.

 

On day when she was watching the baby ... she feel asleep on the couch while the baby was asleep. Alice came home on her lunch break, found Kelly asleep and the baby was awake sitting up in her crib. Not a big deal ... but it was about a hlaf and hour past her feeding time ... and Alcie blew up at Kelly ... called her a child abuser and swore she would never watch the baby again! So she got a differant friend to watch the baby while she was at work ... but after a few weeks ... that friend too got fed up with Jackie taking advantage of her ... and treating her badly. They went out one night witha big group and some of the people where makng fun of new babysitter ... Alice just laughed. When new babysitter said she was leaving ... Alice (who had brought her) wouldn't take her home .... new babysitter had to call her MOTHER for a ride!!

 

Alice calls me the next day ....(I was in florida tending to my mother who had recently had surgery .... I was on my way home ... i'll get to this is a minute) to complain about how immature new babysitter is, and how now SHE is not allowed to see baby anymore!! UGH right?

 

So it is clear that she treats people babdly in general .... but here is what she did that really set me off. I had to go to florida .. my mom had surgery, and I was going down for the weekend to check on her and spend a day or 2 with her. I would be gone for three days ... I asked Alice if she could go by my house once saturday, once Sunday and Once Monday to feed my cat ... not a big deal right .... after all I had let her live with me ... this was the least she could do right .... well she got REALLY bitchy with me for asking and said no ... in desperation I said "Alice, it will take 5 minutes!! Is 5 minutes really too much to ask of you" "Yes, actually it is" OH MY GOD RIGHT!!

 

I wanted to kill her ... I was so mad. Then later that day she called me up and said ... I guess if you'll be in flirida that means you don't want to help me get the rest of my stuff from [my husband's] apartment?

 

How do you even respond to this girl?? Worst thing is I work with her ... and she pissng everyone off at work!! She leaves early almost everyday ... has to have at least one day off every week and when she is there .... she does NOTHING!!!

 

What do I do?? How do I handle this?? How do I survive without killing her??? HELP!

[GirlDown]

Originally posted by prncssfce9

that friend too got fed up with Jackie taking advantage of her ... and treating her badly. They went out one night witha big group and some of the people where makng fun of new babysitter ... Alice just laughed. When new babysitter said she was leaving ... Alice (who had brought her) wouldn't take her home .... new babysitter had to call her MOTHER for a ride!!

 

How do you even respond to this girl?? Worst thing is I work with her ... and she pissng everyone off at work!! She leaves early almost everyday ... has to have at least one day off every week and when she is there .... she does NOTHING!!!

 

What do I do?? How do I handle this?? How do I survive without killing her??? HELP!

 

who is jackie?

 

anyway, i think the answer is simple. cut her off. you never HAVE to be anyone's friend.

 

her work situation should have nothing to do with you, it's work. who cares if she works there, or takes days off, or leaves early. it's got nothing to do with you, your job, or your life. don't let it bother you.

 

but seriously, i see no reason why you should have any obligation to this person. it's not much of a friendship, and it seems like it has ended quite some time ago--she just doesn't know it yet.

 

make her know it! and then never talk to her again, even if it means she's obnoxiously rude to you to get your attention, or crying her eyes out to get your sympathy.

 

you've given this girl all you could have given... now take back your sanity!

 

grrrr, i'm getting frustrated for you!

[EC]

Serioulsy I wish i knew this girl in person. WTF?~

 

I agree with girl down...ignore this girl, and cut off contact with her. Even if you have to get right down nasty and throw everything on the table so that she can understand. Shes taking advantage of everyone and it needs to stop.

[prncssfce9]

Jackie was a slip up ... ignore that

 

 

Anyway .... I know what you all mean I do try to ignore her!!! Truthfully I do! I hardley talk to her at all, and when I do I am pretty short with her. She seems to be getting the point ... I think the problem lies with me now.

 

It's like .... she pissed me off for so long and in so many ways that I hate to let her get away with it!! At work I watch her walk all over people to get her own way EVERYDAY and it makes me want to hit her!!! She is irresponsible and immature ... and if her taking days off and leaving early did not effect me (which it does) I wouldn;t care. But b/c she leaves early I get stuck with her work. We work in a daycare ... so when she leaves, b/c I teach the same age group I have to take care of all her kids ... so my class goes from 7, 2 years olds to 12!! EVERYDAY, and that isn't fair. ... I'm in school and work 2 jobs ... and she HAS to leave early b/c "she has a child". If I thought she was actually spending time with the kid it would be differant, but she picks her up, drops her off somewhere and goes out to be a whore!!

 

I just get so mad about the whole situation, and can't seem to let it go.... how do I let it go???

[GirlDown]

Originally posted by prncssfce9

Jackie was a slip up ... ignore that

 

 

Anyway .... I know what you all mean I do try to ignore her!!! Truthfully I do! I hardley talk to her at all, and when I do I am pretty short with her. She seems to be getting the point ... I think the problem lies with me now.

 

It's like .... she pissed me off for so long and in so many ways that I hate to let her get away with it!! At work I watch her walk all over people to get her own way EVERYDAY and it makes me want to hit her!!! She is irresponsible and immature ... and if her taking days off and leaving early did not effect me (which it does) I wouldn;t care. But b/c she leaves early I get stuck with her work. We work in a daycare ... so when she leaves, b/c I teach the same age group I have to take care of all her kids ... so my class goes from 7, 2 years olds to 12!! EVERYDAY, and that isn't fair. ... I'm in school and work 2 jobs ... and she HAS to leave early b/c "she has a child". If I thought she was actually spending time with the kid it would be differant, but she picks her up, drops her off somewhere and goes out to be a whore!!

 

I just get so mad about the whole situation, and can't seem to let it go.... how do I let it go???

 

 

well in that case, that you have to take over her work--THAT EFFING SUCKS. talk to the manager/owner and make it clear that this should not be allowed, or that you should be compensated.

 

then i guess if the problem is just letting go, you won't be able to until you...well, let go...

 

it sucks to be annoyed, but maybe after a while, the annoyance will start to lessen a bit...and you won't care about her one way or the other. i hope that happens, what a pain in the a*ss to feel like this.

 

someone once told me to make a list of all the things that bothered me, and then separate them into two categories...what i could control, and what i couldn't. (couldn't, not wouldn't!) then she said "the ones on your "cannot control list? let them go. if it's something you can't do anything about, at least at this time, focus on what you can control and do it. no use expending so much energy on things you can't change."

 

one day, this will be on your "can control" list. until then, wash your hands of it, and take solace in the fact that the worst of it over, and you don't have to personally deal with this girl because you don't owe her anything. you don't even have to be nice to her.

[prncssfce9]

That is good advice .... I f***ing hate this girl I swear! As far as the manager ... she is pretty much annoying EVERYONE with her endless needs that "outweigh" everyone else's. I think that will take care of itself.

 

I guess I just hate being so damn annoyed ... I hate still having to see her ... the WORST part (are you ready for this) I got her the damn job there after she left her husband!!! How stupid am I??? I was trying to help and I shot myself in the foot.

 

In my defense, she was a differant person 3 months ago .... or at least I thought she was. UGH!