My girlfriend got caught and still lied about it.

[Darren Steez]

I'll tell you what dude, it's simply not worth it, trust me. You take her back the issues will still be there, the trust is gone, it will actually make your life harder not easier to try and get over everything she's done.

 

If they have a child together then means her ex is in her life forever. So every time he visits, or she visits, forgets to answer her phone, every time you have a fight, every time they are alone, you will always be wondering what's happening because she's already done it!

 

She did it and still lied. Save yourself the headaches and dump her. It may hurt now but in the end you'll save yourself tons of hurt and anger.

[JS84]

It's like you're asking us to give you advice on how to hold onto a flaming train wreck. Dude. Let go, and start running away from the train wreck.

[Keke1]

My two cents worth:

If the two of you had a heated argument and she ran off to a bar with some friends to "cool" off for a bit and "ran" into an ex and something happened, that might be somewhat excusable. The fact that she ran off to Vegas, another city?! That required some thought. The difference for me would be this. The former, I could see how it wouldn't require much thought and someone could be tempted especially when inebriated. The later, which appears to be what you are dealing with, required premeditated and deliberate thought and action! She didn't do something that ended up hurting you. She thought it out about how she was going to get back at you. That I could never forgive. What will happen the next time you two have an argument? Will she try to screw your best friend this time? She sought revenge because of a disagreement. That's not a character trait I would want my SO to have. I would have no trouble walking away from this one knowing I am saving myself from almost certain heartbreak down the road. Good luck OP.

 

Lol at what you find excusable. Shes out if i ever find out about this kinda mess. Life is way to short for unnecessary bull****

[bubbaganoosh]

Ok let's just say I decide to forgive her and keep going with the relationship will things be the same or not if anyone has ever forgiven a cheater whats your experience?

 

Re read your post. Then do it again and again until you fully understand what you wrote, what she did and then ask yourself if that's what you want in a woman, what you deserve, and if you can do better.

 

Look. She's crawling on her belly right now because she the type of person who has to have someone............anyone to be with and she's asking you to take her back and you will be plan B until someone else comes along.

 

Then this whole thing will play out again. My advice? Walk away with your dignity still intact.

[Mangina]

I'd give her another chance. Maybe her ex talked her into it.

[Btrade]

No child support.No alimony.

 

 

Are you really debating this?

[Spectre]

I hate to say it, but your gf is a huge skank, there is no reason to forgive her. Women who love and respect their partners do not bang other guys, period. I don't care if you had an argument.

 

Also, even if it turns out that she didn't have sex with her ex..she still deserves to be kicked to the curb for running to an ex boyfriend just because you had a fight. If she truly cared for you the last person she would be running to would be an ex.

 

My two cents worth:

If the two of you had a heated argument and she ran off to a bar with some friends to "cool" off for a bit and "ran" into an ex and something happened, that might be somewhat excusable.

 

What? Nope, just..nope, and 1,000 more nopes. What difference does it make if they went to another city?! Cheating is cheating, it's not excusable at all, it's trashy and skanky. You just said it was excusable for this woman to go bang her ex after an argument with her bf. I just plain do not get the logic some people have on this forum.

 

Please tell me you were just saying this to be ironic or something? Tell me you do not legitimately believe this would of been excusable if they merely had not gone to another city to screw. I'm not trying to be rude here, but explain this to me in a way that makes sense, because the fact that they went to Vegas to do this is irrelevant. It doesn't matter if they ran off to Vegas or if they ran off to somewhere a block away from her boyfriend, cheating is cheating.

 

That required some thought. The difference for me would be this. The former, I could see how it wouldn't require much thought and someone could be tempted especially when inebriated.

 

Having sex requires thought, it does not matter what location you have it in, it does not matter if you are drunk. Sex requires thought, and she would of had plenty of time to stop herself if she truly loved this guy. Sex doesn't just happen at the snap of a finger, there is usually foreplay..and then you have to remove your clothes..and you otherwise have plenty of time to stop it.

 

The later, which appears to be what you are dealing with, required premeditated and deliberate thought and action!

 

They had a fight and then she went running to her ex. Why do you feel that is not premeditated and deliberate? She did not just happen to run into the guy, they met up. That means this was planned in advance. I am not saying before their argument she had planned to bone her ex, but afterwards..with her running to her ex and drinking..what did she honestly think was going to happen? So yeah, this was still planned, this was still deliberate. This girl didn't accidentally fall into bed with her ex.

 

I would have no trouble walking away from this one knowing I am saving myself from almost certain heartbreak down the road. Good luck OP.

 

This seems to imply you *would* have trouble walking away if this was not something a woman did to merely "get back" at you. That makes absolutely no sense. Whether they did it for revenge or they did it because they merely can't keep their legs closed and have zero love or respect for their partner or themselves..is irrelevant.

 

Also I have to say personally..I think cheating as a form of revenge is the lesser of two evils(though it is still worthy of you dumping that person) Since..cheating, but not for revenge just shows how this person just doesn't give a f*ck about you. They aren't cheating because they are angry at you or because you did something wrong..they are cheating because they are just that trashy.

[Spectre]

I'd give her another chance. Maybe her ex talked her into it.

 

If her ex bf is able to talk her into screwing him merely because she had a fight with her bf then that just goes to show why she should not be given another chance. If it is that easy to get in her pants why would you forgive such trash?

 

This is even worse because she has a child with her ex and told him she was single, which means she is not only playing the OP, but is utterly messing with the mind of the father of her child. She sure sounds like the mother of the year.

 

She is 26 years old she is not a child, she should know better.

Edited September 10, 2014 by Spectre

[Chi townD]

Ummm.... why are people still posting in this thread? You're chasing bunnies!! The dude hasn't been back since I caught him!

 

 

BUNNIES!!!!!!

 

 

:bunny: :bunny: .......

[Thicke2013]

Wow....slow down and read the entire response and the overall gist of what I was saying. Taking snippets of what I said and picking them apart isn't fair. I did not once say that I thought what she did was excusable. Let me try and respond below.

 

I hate to say it, but your gf is a huge skank, there is no reason to forgive her. Women who love and respect their partners do not bang other guys, period. I don't care if you had an argument.

 

Also, even if it turns out that she didn't have sex with her ex..she still deserves to be kicked to the curb for running to an ex boyfriend just because you had a fight. If she truly cared for you the last person she would be running to would be an ex.

 

Originally Posted by Thicke2013

My two cents worth:

If the two of you had a heated argument and she ran off to a bar with some friends to "cool" off for a bit and "ran" into an ex and something happened, that might be somewhat excusable.

 

 

What? Nope, just..nope, and 1,000 more nopes. What difference does it make if they went to another city?! Cheating is cheating, it's not excusable at all, it's trashy and skanky. You just said it was excusable for this woman to go bang her ex after an argument with her bf. I just plain do not get the logic some people have on this forum.

 

Please tell me you were just saying this to be ironic or something? Tell me you do not legitimately believe this would of been excusable if they merely had not gone to another city to screw. I'm not trying to be rude here, but explain this to me in a way that makes sense, because the fact that they went to Vegas to do this is irrelevant. It doesn't matter if they ran off to Vegas or if they ran off to somewhere a block away from her boyfriend, cheating is cheating.

 

I do not condone or think it was right. Cheating is cheating. What I was saying was that what she did was premeditated and deliberate. That if she did go out and get drunk and happen to run into her ex it would be more believable that she didn't intend hurt him her BF. The fact that they did run away to another city in my opinion does make it worse. Not saying that if she had run into him in a bar and screwed him in the bathroom doesn't mean she didn't cheat, just saying I know how people can get when drunk and already mad at their BF/GF and can make bad decisions in the heat of the moment. It does not change the fact that she cheated but to me is even worse because it was a deliberate act to run away to another city with this man. She had time to cool down and think it through and she still cheated. Definitely not someone who is relationship material.

 

Quote:

That required some thought. The difference for me would be this. The former, I could see how it wouldn't require much thought and someone could be tempted especially when inebriated.

 

Having sex requires thought, it does not matter what location you have it in, it does not matter if you are drunk. Sex requires thought, and she would of had plenty of time to stop herself if she truly loved this guy. Sex doesn't just happen at the snap of a finger, there is usually foreplay..and then you have to remove your clothes..and you otherwise have plenty of time to stop it.

 

Again, I hope I explained myself above. It does require thought but a lot of people do things in the heat of a moment. It's kind of like murder in the 1st or 2nd degree. Both result in death, one is considered in the heat of the moment or a crime of passion and the other is premeditated. Both have the same result.

 

Quote:

The later, which appears to be what you are dealing with, required premeditated and deliberate thought and action!

 

They had a fight and then she went running to her ex. Why do you feel that is not premeditated and deliberate? She did not just happen to run into the guy, they met up. That means this was planned in advance. I am not saying before their argument she had planned to bone her ex, but afterwards..with her running to her ex and drinking..what did she honestly think was going to happen? So yeah, this was still planned, this was still deliberate. This girl didn't accidentally fall into bed with her ex.

 

Not sure what you are arguing here. Seems we had the same thought. It was deliberate premeditated. We agree.

 

Quote:

I would have no trouble walking away from this one knowing I am saving myself from almost certain heartbreak down the road. Good luck OP.

 

This seems to imply you *would* have trouble walking away if this was not something a woman did to merely "get back" at you. That makes absolutely no sense. Whether they did it for revenge or they did it because they merely can't keep their legs closed and have zero love or respect for their partner or themselves..is irrelevant.

 

Wow. That's a far stretch. I said I would have no problem walking away from this woman after what she has done. I was not implying anything else. Myself, and I have shown this in the past by my own actions, I do not tolerate cheaters. Period.

 

Also I have to say personally..I think cheating as a form of revenge is the lesser of two evils(though it is still worthy of you dumping that person) Since..cheating, but not for revenge just shows how this person just doesn't give a f*ck about you. They aren't cheating because they are angry at you or because you did something wrong..they are cheating because they are just that trashy.

[Spectre]

The "heat of the moment" excuse doesn't fly. It's not like murder. You can kill someone in a second or two in the "heat of the moment". It doesn't take long. A good solid whack to the head with a blunt object..a single shot with a gun, these things can be quick. But having sex? Yeah, that takes more effort. To kill someone in the heat of the moment you don't have to first remove all your clothes, etc. It's not the same. I also don't see why going to another city makes it worse, why does it matter where she bangs this other guy? She still had plenty of chances to stop it. It doesn't matter where you cheat or how much thought you put into it, it is never excusable.

 

Also, you flat out said "if it wasn't deliberate and she just ran into him it might be excusable". I'm struggling to see any other way to take that.

[Hello201]

Been thru it , you know in yr heart what you have to do

Read my story if it helps ?

[Darwin14]

Since finally admitting to cheating only because I had evidence and not because she felt the need to, she has apologized and cried and we talked about it she told me beign with someone for 10 years and having a lid together wasn't as easy to get over as she thought it would be and that she promises to not ever do that again. I told her I would have to think about it, and not to rush my decision because it's hard enough for me to accept the fact that I had to find out the way I did and that I would do what's best for me.

[michaelsmith12]

I just went through a similar situation my friend, I tried for 9 weeks to get over it and get it out of my head so her and I could move forward. But I just could not do it and I finally left and called off our wedding. Get out while you can, you don't deserve this. No one does, I know it is hard to walk away, trust me when I say this but it is so much better once you do. It's like the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders. I finally saw the writing on the walls, you need to wake up like I finally did and get out while you can. I hope you make the choice that works best for you man.

 

Remember this...

 

"Never allow loneliness to drive you back into the arms of someone you know you don't belong with"

[stillafool]

Since finally admitting to cheating only because I had evidence and not because she felt the need to, she has apologized and cried and we talked about it she told me beign with someone for 10 years and having a lid together wasn't as easy to get over as she thought it would be and that she promises to not ever do that again. I told her I would have to think about it, and not to rush my decision because it's hard enough for me to accept the fact that I had to find out the way I did and that I would do what's best for me.

 

If she told her ex she was single it's because she wanted an opportunity to be with him and wanted him to want her back. If she felt it was hard to get over her 10 year relationship why didn't she break up with you first and then go after him? She wanted to keep you on the back burner in case he didn't want her back. He knows her better than you and has a kid with her but still doesn't trust her. She is not only a CHEATER but a LIAR as well. Is this the type of woman you want in your life? Dump her now or I promise you will be sorry later. She still isn't over her ex but he only wants her for sex when he wants it. He will probably end up marrying another woman of quality that he can trust. You should do the same. Look, you are only 22 with your whole life ahead of you and 100's of girls to meet. Go out and enjoy women who don't have baggage or kids. Don't settle at the age of 22.

Edited September 15, 2014 by stillafool