strange behaviour

[annabanana]

What would you think about a relationship with someone you've been dating exclusively for almost 4 months, yet you have never met any of his friends, or roommate, etc? In the beginning, we made time for each other, couldn't wait to see each other, & now I feel I've fallen to the bottom of the priority list. I've tried to talk about it with him twice now, asking him why things have changed, (although I haven't brought up the part about him not introducing me to his friends), and he simply says they haven't, his feelings are the same, he just doesn't have as much time (which is true, he's working a lot more now). But then why isn't he calling when he says he will, canceling plans last minute, etc. Once a couple weeks ago I was at a club with a friend waiting to meet him & he just never showed up&it turned out there was a perfectly good explanation, but this I never found out until I called him later the next day&why couldn't he have called & left a message the night before? My friends say he was probably only so sweet in the beginning to win me over, & now that he has, he is showing his true self&and now I have to decide if that's ok with me, and if I can accept him like this. I want to talk about it with him again, but feel like I'm nagging&and although I've already brought it up twice, I don't feel as if I've come away with any answers. When I discuss it with him again, any suggestions on how to bring it up? (because I know he feels like this issue should have been put to rest already, & he'll wonder why I can't just drop it) I don't think he wants to end things, or he'd just do that. I know the relationship is still young, but I've already developed pretty strong feelings. I feel like his closet girlfriend&I mean is he ashamed of me? Then I wonder if maybe this whole thing is only a big deal because I'm MAKING it a big deal&am I justified to feel put out by his behaviour?

 

Any and all advice welcome&thanks&

[OBU Bison]

I would say I am a guy with the same problem from my GF.. Why don't you write down the advice you would give me. Then change the sexs and take that advice!!! Once you know what you would tell someone else then it would be the same info for you I do agree it is totally confusing.....

What would you think about a relationship with someone you've been dating exclusively for almost 4 months, yet you have never met any of his friends, or roommate, etc? In the beginning, we made time for each other, couldn't wait to see each other, & now I feel I've fallen to the bottom of the priority list. I've tried to talk about it with him twice now, asking him why things have changed, (although I haven't brought up the part about him not introducing me to his friends), and he simply says they haven't, his feelings are the same, he just doesn't have as much time (which is true, he's working a lot more now). But then why isn't he calling when he says he will, canceling plans last minute, etc. Once a couple weeks ago I was at a club with a friend waiting to meet him & he just never showed up&it turned out there was a perfectly good explanation, but this I never found out until I called him later the next day&why couldn't he have called & left a message the night before? My friends say he was probably only so sweet in the beginning to win me over, & now that he has, he is showing his true self&and now I have to decide if that's ok with me, and if I can accept him like this. I want to talk about it with him again, but feel like I'm nagging&and although I've already brought it up twice, I don't feel as if I've come away with any answers. When I discuss it with him again, any suggestions on how to bring it up? (because I know he feels like this issue should have been put to rest already, & he'll wonder why I can't just drop it) I don't think he wants to end things, or he'd just do that. I know the relationship is still young, but I've already developed pretty strong feelings. I feel like his closet girlfriend&I mean is he ashamed of me? Then I wonder if maybe this whole thing is only a big deal because I'm MAKING it a big deal&am I justified to feel put out by his behaviour?

 

Any and all advice welcome&thanks&

 

[lb]

I am basically in the same situation also, Ive been hanging or dating or whatever you want to call it with this guy for almost 5 months now, in the beginning things were perfect, he was the sweetesy guy that I have ever met, he called me 24/7 he always wanted to see me, even though we live quite a distance from each other. and recently he's been quiet he dont call me as often and he says he just tired and doesnt feel like talking on the phone. He was in a long term relationship for 7 years they lived together for 4 years and they were engaged, So I dont know if its me, or he is just depressed or I dont know. I dont want to nag him either, I figure I will let things go and see how things turn out. Im trying not to call him as often. It is very hard cause Im so use to talking to him every day, and it kills me inside when he doesnt call me. So basically what Im saying, is that I really like this guy alot and my friends are saying the same thing to me Just see how things go. I know its hard but maybe he'll come around , Least I hope in my case he will come around

I would say I am a guy with the same problem from my GF.. Why don't you write down the advice you would give me. Then change the sexs and take that advice!!! Once you know what you would tell someone else then it would be the same info for you I do agree it is totally confusing.....

[OBU BIson]

Yeah, that is some good advice. I aksed my mom about it, to try and get a ladies view and she said to wait and see. You know there is something there (even if it is a little) becuase you all are still together. If you are like me and impatient about it then it can be tough.

I am basically in the same situation also, Ive been hanging or dating or whatever you want to call it with this guy for almost 5 months now, in the beginning things were perfect, he was the sweetesy guy that I have ever met, he called me 24/7 he always wanted to see me, even though we live quite a distance from each other. and recently he's been quiet he dont call me as often and he says he just tired and doesnt feel like talking on the phone. He was in a long term relationship for 7 years they lived together for 4 years and they were engaged, So I dont know if its me, or he is just depressed or I dont know. I dont want to nag him either, I figure I will let things go and see how things turn out. Im trying not to call him as often. It is very hard cause Im so use to talking to him every day, and it kills me inside when he doesnt call me. So basically what Im saying, is that I really like this guy alot and my friends are saying the same thing to me Just see how things go. I know its hard but maybe he'll come around , Least I hope in my case he will come around

[annabanana]

Yes, nothing can be hurt by backing off & waiting...but when your feelings are wrapped up so deeply in a relationship how is that possible? I feel I need answers now...I don't think it would be this bad except that the changes in my BF are so dramatic! It's not like things are only a little different...I see major differences in his behaviour. And I know he thinks I'm way out in left field when I bring this up...

Yeah, that is some good advice. I aksed my mom about it, to try and get a ladies view and she said to wait and see. You know there is something there (even if it is a little) becuase you all are still together. If you are like me and impatient about it then it can be tough.

[WGirl]

I think you have every right to complain if you aren't getting what you want out of this relationship and you feel unimportant. After four months, I would start to wonder why you aren't meeting his friends and especially his roommate.

 

Sometimes, that says a lot. A lot of times when men aren't that serious, they won't introduce you. You should definitely bring up the topic again and tell him you feel as if the problems have not been resolved. Don't worry about feeling like a nag because if he really wants to work things out with you, he will listen.

 

He is displaying inconsiderate behavior. If he makes arrangements to meet you and he doesn't show up, he should at least call you. It's like you said, he has won you over(or thinks he has) and now he thinks it is smooth sailing and he can get away with anything. Don't tolerate this type of behavior much longer, either resolve it or break it off because it is not worth it. There are other people out there and if he isn't willing to give you what you want, go elsewhere.

What would you think about a relationship with someone you’ve been dating exclusively for almost 4 months, yet you have never met any of his friends, or roommate, etc? In the beginning, we made time for each other, couldn’t wait to see each other, & now I feel I’ve fallen to the bottom of the priority list. I’ve tried to talk about it with him twice now, asking him why things have changed, (although I haven’t brought up the part about him not introducing me to his friends), and he simply says they haven’t, his feelings are the same, he just doesn’t have as much time (which is true, he’s working a lot more now). But then why isn’t he calling when he says he will, canceling plans last minute, etc. Once a couple weeks ago I was at a club with a friend waiting to meet him & he just never showed up…it turned out there was a perfectly good explanation, but this I never found out until I called him later the next day…why couldn’t he have called & left a message the night before? My friends say he was probably only so sweet in the beginning to win me over, & now that he has, he is showing his true self…and now I have to decide if that’s ok with me, and if I can accept him like this. I want to talk about it with him again, but feel like I’m nagging…and although I’ve already brought it up twice, I don’t feel as if I’ve come away with any answers. When I discuss it with him again, any suggestions on how to bring it up? (because I know he feels like this issue should have been put to rest already, & he’ll wonder why I can’t just drop it) I don’t think he wants to end things, or he’d just do that. I know the relationship is still young, but I’ve already developed pretty strong feelings. I feel like his closet girlfriend…I mean is he ashamed of me? Then I wonder if maybe this whole thing is only a big deal because I’m MAKING it a big deal…am I justified to feel put out by his behaviour?

 

Any and all advice welcome…thanks…