None of my exes ever came back

[Mcnulty]

You plant a seed, it grows into a beautiful sunflower, you love it, adore it...but, it dies...you try to replant it, but it is dead, the beauty once held has vanished for ever, it won't grow again...plant a new seed...daffodils maybe...or something that will attract bees!

[Sugarkane]

Thankyou for posting because I always feel like the only one on this site.

Edited September 18, 2014 by Sugarkane

[Dontfindme]

You plant a seed, it grows into a beautiful sunflower, you love it, adore it...but, it dies...you try to replant it, but it is dead, the beauty once held has vanished for ever, it won't grow again...plant a new seed...daffodils maybe...or something that will attract bees!

 

What an amazing analogy, this was truly enlightening. Thank you Mcnulty.

[miranda_wilson]

I'm in the "exes have come back" camp. Everyone I dated six months or longer came back. And some that I dated for less than six months came back.

 

Very recently, my ex that broke up with me in March, came back. He came back around August 20th. We are together again.

 

That's why I don't get why there are people on this board who insist that people shouldn't have any hope. Makes no sense to me.

[No Limit]

Dude, why so sad about this? Personally I hope that once I get into the relationship scene none of my exes will come back, it's just drama and a waste of time.

 

 

That's why I don't get why there are people on this board who insist that people shouldn't have any hope. Makes no sense to me.

 

 

If you look at the content of the threads you'll see that most of the time the dumper has cheated, is already with someone else or doing some other *****. Sure they'd come back in time, but as a matter of fact you SHOULDN'T take them back the moment they finally deem you worthy of a call or holler or backup plan.

Edited September 28, 2014 by No Limit

[Feelbettersoon]

I'm in the "exes have come back" camp. Everyone I dated six months or longer came back. And some that I dated for less than six months came back.

 

Very recently, my ex that broke up with me in March, came back. He came back around August 20th. We are together again.

 

That's why I don't get why there are people on this board who insist that people shouldn't have any hope. Makes no sense to me.

 

How did he come back? Were you NC that whole time?

[miranda_wilson]

How did he come back? Were you NC that whole time?

 

We had been complete no contact for a little over four months. He came back by calling.

[dclan]

It also depends a lot on the relationship you actually had with an ex. Not all relationships are the same.

 

Usually those getting back together stories are from:

 

- long term relationships (5 to 6 years, usually more).

- very serious or intimate (living together, engagement, marriage, etc).

 

It all depends on the the level of commitment or seriousness the relationship had for the dumper. If the dumper never really saw a future with you, despite them loving you, it is very possible they will never contact you again.

 

They only consider going back if the relationship was very important or serious to them (like a first boyfriend, a fiance, someone they lived together, etc.). Even if they only return because they are bored or lonely.

 

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying dumpers will try to return ONLY to relationships that were special. They might try getting back together with any kind of ex, and sometimes because they just have no one better. This sucks, but it is true. But usually, if the feeling is genuine, it is because the relationship was important to begin with.

Edited September 29, 2014 by dclan

[tiarakitty]

We had been complete no contact for a little over four months. He came back by calling.

 

Hi Miranda,

 

Who's the dumper? The reason for the break up?

Also, any advices on what did you do after the break up that made your ex come back to you?

 

Thank you!

[Dontfindme]

I guess I may have jinxed myself with this thread.

 

My ex (H) called me today. We had a 4 minute phone convo about how he found out that a mutual friend (A) spoke to me, and told me that H asked A about me. So, H called me to let me know that A was completely BSing, and he (H) did not want me to think otherwise - that he was asking about me.

 

My question is why does he even care to inform me about this? He really could have dropped the issue. It wasn't like I was going to investigate, or that it was a big deal.

 

I'm pissed off that he called me for this. This had to have been the lamest reason to call anyone.

[MissBee]

All of my major exes tried to come back and in hindsight, I'd have rather all of them were cut and dried, broke up, end of story. Believe me, dragging a situation/relationship out over the years has wasted me lots of time and angst, would much rather have had linear clean breaks...don't wish for it and don't take it personally, it's life's way of giving you a new chapter.

 

I agree.

 

I think having them not come back is a blessing in disguise, as others have said, even when the person does come back a lot of times it is just for breadcrumbs or nothing really changes and you break up again anyway.

 

I've had exes come back and the satisfaction of them "coming back" was short-lived as in reality nothing really changed and it just dragged out the inevitable.