I am losing it.

[Zahara]

Bottom line - I feel guilty and don't know why.

 

Explain why you feel guilty.

[hourglassangel]

Explain why you feel guilty.

 

It's not a good feeling being called "crazy" and "psycho" when I'm not...the situation made me a bit loopy, but it's not who I am.

 

Guilty for harassing him with texts, texts that I did for about 4 days total in 3 weeks. Guilty for reaching out to try and make peace so that we could walk away justified without animosity.

Edited September 8, 2014 by hourglassangel

[me85]

It's not a good feeling being called "crazy" and "psycho" when I'm not...the situation made me a bit loopy, but it's not who I am.

 

Guilty for harassing him with texts, texts that I did for about 4 days total in 3 weeks. Guilty for reaching out to try and make peace so that we could walk away justified without animosity.

 

You should limit yourself to the time you're taking to feel bad about something you did in the past. Whether it was 10 minuets ago, 10 days ago...the past is gone. It no longer exists. You're making it the present when it's the past. It's over. Gone. Done. Dead. I swear to God almighty it truly doesn't matter anymore.

 

Love yourself. Forgive yourself and move on from this. Life is too short. Make a vow to yourself to be happy even in the most trying of times. I put on upbeat music to get in a better mood. Find out what works best for you and cling on to it for dear life (and it can't be another human being either...well, ok, your child is the only exception)

 

Deal?? (=

[hourglassangel]

You should limit yourself to the time you're taking to feel bad about something you did in the past. Whether it was 10 minuets ago, 10 days ago...the past is gone. It no longer exists. You're making it the present when it's the past. It's over. Gone. Done. Dead. I swear to God almighty it truly doesn't matter anymore.

 

Love yourself. Forgive yourself and move on from this. Life is too short. Make a vow to yourself to be happy even in the most trying of times. I put on upbeat music to get in a better mood. Find out what works best for you and cling on to it for dear life (and it can't be another human being either...well, ok, your child is the only exception)

 

Deal?? (=

 

Deal....I am doing my best everyday, and I did have an amazing weekend with my son, friends and family. I put on a happy face, got out and had fun.....but it's what I feel on the inside. Trust me when I say I wish I had a "magic button" trust me.

[me85]

Deal....I am doing my best everyday, and I did have an amazing weekend with my son, friends and family. I put on a happy face, got out and had fun.....but it's what I feel on the inside. Trust me when I say I wish I had a "magic button" trust me.

 

I get it girl. But you know that old saying, "You gota fake it til ya make it." ?

 

We spend more than half of our lives doing just that. If not more.

 

We're not born with a magic button, that's true, but you can work on inventing and installing one for yourself. That's the whole point in life...to search for that one thing within ourselves that inspires us and makes us feel powerful. That's how you create your "magic button."

[hourglassangel]

I get it girl. But you know that old saying, "You gota fake it til ya make it." ?

 

We spend more than half of our lives doing just that. If not more.

 

We're not born with a magic button, that's true, but you can work on inventing and installing one for yourself. That's the whole point in life...to search for that one thing within ourselves that inspires us and makes us feel powerful. That's how you create your "magic button."

 

Fake it til ya make it is exactly what I have been doing.....and I will continue.

 

The only thing I wanted from this whole thing was a chance to clear the air, not get him back. This should be all the more reason to get strong and walk away from people who don't deserve me in their life. Especially when he called me names and to leave him alone. I think he knew exactly what he was doing and wanted to hurt me for all the hurt that's happened in his life.

 

Time to get the big girl pants on.

[me85]

Fake it til ya make it is exactly what I have been doing.....and I will continue.

 

The only thing I wanted from this whole thing was a chance to clear the air, not get him back. This should be all the more reason to get strong and walk away from people who don't deserve me in their life. Especially when he called me names and to leave him alone. I think he knew exactly what he was doing and wanted to hurt me for all the hurt that's happened in his life.

 

Time to get the big girl pants on.

 

I completely understand. I would want to clear the air too. But you can finish the business on your own. You make peace with him by not even speaking to him. You can do it in prayer or however. That's what I've learned...how to put things to rest on my own because certain people are not a part of my life anymore, so that's my only choice.

 

It's exactly like grieving over the death of a loved one. You have to treat it the same because (as harsh as it sounds) those people are dead to you because they aren't a part of your life anymore. I know that seems very cruel, I don't mean it in a cruel way at all. It's more of a harsh comparison.

[hourglassangel]

I completely understand. I would want to clear the air too. But you can finish the business on your own. You make peace with him by not even speaking to him. You can do it in prayer or however. That's what I've learned...how to put things to rest on my own because certain people are not a part of my life anymore, so that's my only choice.

 

It's exactly like grieving over the death of a loved one. You have to treat it the same because (as harsh as it sounds) those people are dead to you because they aren't a part of your life anymore. I know that seems very cruel, I don't mean it in a cruel way at all. It's more of a harsh comparison.

 

No I get it, that's exactly how he has treated this...I am dead to him. I have to adapt that concept as well....but it just sucks big time when I did nothing wrong at the end, just turn into a stalker.

[me85]

No I get it, that's exactly how he has treated this...I am dead to him. I have to adapt that concept as well....but it just sucks big time when I did nothing wrong at the end, just turn into a stalker.

 

You're not a stalker. You're not a psycho. You're none of the things he calls you or thinks of you. His perception doesn't even matter. I have a hard time accepting someone having a negative view of me too but their not God!. lol Or I used to rather. Now, I'm happy with myself so I don't care what people say or think of me. What matters is how you view yourself. Once you're really happy...truly happy with yourself...you won't dwell or even bothered all that much of the opinions of others.

 

A wise man once told me, "Everyone's not going to like you and that's ok."

 

So simple. So true.

 

So are you going to let this keeping eating away at you or what??

Edited September 8, 2014 by me85

[Zahara]

It's not a good feeling being called "crazy" and "psycho" when I'm not...the situation made me a bit loopy, but it's not who I am.

 

It isn't a good feeling especially coming from someone you love but you have to consider the source and the circumstances in which those accusations were made. In that sense you have to keep telling yourself that words like that aren't coming from a place of truth but most times from a place of anger, manipulation, spite, and a behavior that he has patterned in other relationships.

 

Guilty for harassing him with texts, texts that I did for about 4 days total in 3 weeks. Guilty for reaching out to try and make peace so that we could walk away justified without animosity.

 

Yes, guilty -- and most of us on LS, believe it or not has most likely gone down that path and some even far worse than what you've done. I've done it myself. Break-ups don't come in nice little packages. They hurt, they make you react negatively, they make you doubt yourself, they cripple you, they inflict panic and pain -- stop beating yourself up over how you reacted. He's just as guilty for silencing you and discarding you in such a horrible way.

[me85]

THEY'RE ... oops /=

[hourglassangel]

You're not a stalker. You're not a psycho. You're none of the things he calls you or thinks of you. His perception doesn't even matter. I have a hard time accepting someone having a negative view of me too but their not God!. lol Or I used to rather. Now, I'm happy with myself so I don't care what people say or think of me. What matters is how you view yourself. Once you're really happy...truly happy with yourself...you won't dwell or even bothered all that much of the opinions of others.

 

A wise man once told me, "Everyone's not going to like you and that's ok."

 

So simple. So true.

 

So are you going to let this keeping eating away at you or what??

 

I will get over it, just need some time. Like I said, the weekend was great and kept super busy, I guess it's just Monday and coming to work that triggered.

[hourglassangel]

It isn't a good feeling especially coming from someone you love but you have to consider the source and the circumstances in which those accusations were made. In that sense you have to keep telling yourself that words like that aren't coming from a place of truth but most times from a place of anger, manipulation, spite, and a behavior that he has patterned in other relationships.

 

 

 

Yes, guilty -- and most of us on LS, believe it or not has most likely gone down that path and some even far worse than what you've done. I've done it myself. Break-ups don't come in nice little packages. They hurt, they make you react negatively, they make you doubt yourself, they cripple you, they inflict panic and pain -- stop beating yourself up over how you reacted. He's just as guilty for silencing you and discarding you in such a horrible way.

 

So true! He is just as guilty and this shows his true colors. I like to work things out and walk away peacefully. All he has done is cause pain and trauma for no reason....NONE!

 

I just had a conversation while at lunch about how many bad people there really are in the world. The ones who hurt, lie, cheat, steal, use, etc...and it seems these are the guys I pick lately. It's gonna stop and stop now.

[Zahara]

So true! He is just as guilty and this shows his true colors. I like to work things out and walk away peacefully. All he has done is cause pain and trauma for no reason....NONE!

 

He actually informed you of his true colors when he was dating you. He exhibited the same behavior with his past partners. If anything, past behavior is very indicative of future behavior.

[me85]

So true! He is just as guilty and this shows his true colors. I like to work things out and walk away peacefully. All he has done is cause pain and trauma for no reason....NONE!

 

I just had a conversation while at lunch about how many bad people there really are in the world. The ones who hurt, lie, cheat, steal, use, etc...and it seems these are the guys I pick lately. It's gonna stop and stop now.

 

I'm very happy to know you're choosing a different path for yourself. There most certainly are bad people/mean people/truly selfish people in the world but there are also good people too. Like ourselves. (=

 

Think of only the good and you will live a happy life.

[hourglassangel]

He actually informed you of his true colors when he was dating you. He exhibited the same behavior with his past partners. If anything, past behavior is very indicative of future behavior.

 

Yes he did, and this is exactly why I come on LS...you guys help me put things back into perspective and see the harsh reality. Sometimes I think to much and a victim of my own thoughts.

[hourglassangel]

I'm very happy to know you're choosing a different path for yourself. There most certainly are bad people/mean people/truly selfish people in the world but there are also good people too. Like ourselves. (=

 

Think of only the good and you will live a happy life.

 

I say this all the time, I want to end up with someone just like me ;-)

someone loyal, fun, cares, human, normal, go with the flow, not angry, mean depressed, etc. It seems I pick the lather instead of what I deserve.

[me85]

Yes he did, and this is exactly why I come on LS...you guys help me put things back into perspective and see the harsh reality. Sometimes I think to much and a victim of my own thoughts.

 

Me too!!! lol It's ok. We all just want love sometimes, so badly that we become obsessed and dwell on every little detail. It's pretty common to get really wrapped up in all that.

 

 

YOU'RE NOT ALONE! (=

 

That guy taught you something. One day you'll see the positive in you're current situation. Hopefully you already do. Some people are the ones we supposed to be with...some are the ones we're supposed to learn from. That guy was your lesson.

[me85]

I say this all the time, I want to end up with someone just like me ;-)

someone loyal, fun, cares, human, normal, go with the flow, not angry, mean depressed, etc. It seems I pick the lather instead of what I deserve.

 

Oh my gosh, I soooo want the male version of me! lol & I'm going to be single until I find him. (=

 

I really enjoy being single, free and around the few good friends and family I have. I feel really positive these days and it's only because I made it through all the negative, angry, bitterness I felt.

 

If I hadn't gone through my worst I wouldn't feel my best. Now I feel like I know I how to avoid being hurt. Of course one day I'll have to take another leap of faith because love is taking chances but I'm not even going to think about any of that for a while. I want my life to change. I want to change. I'm on a spiritual journey now. Not a quest for romance.

 

P.S. I don't know why I'm having all these typos. Errr their/they're ... you're/your... I'm sorry. I promise I know proper grammar and spelling.

Edited September 8, 2014 by me85

[BC1980]

So true! He is just as guilty and this shows his true colors. I like to work things out and walk away peacefully. All he has done is cause pain and trauma for no reason....NONE!

 

I just had a conversation while at lunch about how many bad people there really are in the world. The ones who hurt, lie, cheat, steal, use, etc...and it seems these are the guys I pick lately. It's gonna stop and stop now.

 

Most people are just extremely self-centered. People are usually going to do what is in their best interests and make excuses to themselves that what they did was right. It's human nature, so you have to protect yourself. You have to pay attention to red flags, and don't give trust until it is earned. I know that sounds pessimistic, but it's just reality.

[hourglassangel]

Oh my gosh, I soooo want the male version of me! lol & I'm going to be single until I find him. (=

 

I really enjoy being single, free and around the few good friends and family I have. I feel really positive these days and it's only because I made it through all the negative, angry, bitterness I felt.

 

If I hadn't gone through my worst I wouldn't feel my best. Now I feel like I know I how to avoid being hurt. Of course one day I'll have to take another leap of faith because love is taking chances but I'm not even going to think about any of that for a while. I want my life to change. I want to change. I'm on a spiritual journey now. Not a quest for romance.

 

P.S. I don't know why I'm having all these typos. Errr their/they're ... you're/your... I'm sorry. I promise I know proper grammar and spelling.

 

LOL, don't worry about the typo's we all do it ;-)

 

I am a hopeless romantic, I feel that people are just like me, which is true, kind, compassionate of full of empathy. I have been through a ton in my life, but I am not bitter or angry. I've learned and moved on from major tragedies that I have experienced.

 

This is not going to stop me, it's just put a bump in my road. I enjoy being single as well. I don't have to worry about anyone toxic in my son's life, and in fact, my son doesn't know I even date let alone met any man. All my choices now are surrounded by him. My son will not have a revolving door of men coming and going, absolutely not!

 

Sometimes I just need to vent what is going on with me, it's almost easier to do it online with strangers that I don't have to face. I give myself speeches in the mirror and tell myself to wake up, you are better than this.

[hourglassangel]

Most people are just extremely self-centered. People are usually going to do what is in their best interests and make excuses to themselves that what they did was right. It's human nature, so you have to protect yourself. You have to pay attention to red flags, and don't give trust until it is earned. I know that sounds pessimistic, but it's just reality.

 

It's not pessimism, it's reality.....and my trust is a gift that I give out way to easily because I see the good in people until the true colors come out.

 

Doesn't it seem that the bad people are the ones who skate by and live happily? yet deep inside they are just dying and miserable?

[me85]

LOL, don't worry about the typo's we all do it ;-)

 

I am a hopeless romantic, I feel that people are just like me, which is true, kind, compassionate of full of empathy. I have been through a ton in my life, but I am not bitter or angry. I've learned and moved on from major tragedies that I have experienced.

 

This is not going to stop me, it's just put a bump in my road. I enjoy being single as well. I don't have to worry about anyone toxic in my son's life, and in fact, my son doesn't know I even date let alone met any man. All my choices now are surrounded by him. My son will not have a revolving door of men coming and going, absolutely not!

 

Sometimes I just need to vent what is going on with me, it's almost easier to do it online with strangers that I don't have to face. I give myself speeches in the mirror and tell myself to wake up, you are better than this.

 

 

Yay! What a great attitude to have!

 

I've always remained nice and polite towards people but I did carry around this sense of defeat and bitterness for a while. Mostly in secret.

 

I'd smile and make people laugh throughout the day but then ball my eyes out as soon as I got home and feel extremely hurt and even angry for being so hurt. I battle depression so that's why but recently I've gone through something I've never gone through before and it has forever changed me. So far, the change is good.

[hourglassangel]

Yay! What a great attitude to have!

 

I've always remained nice and polite towards people but I did carry around this sense of defeat and bitterness for a while. Mostly in secret.

 

I'd smile and make people laugh throughout the day but then ball my eyes out as soon as I got home and feel extremely hurt and even angry for being so hurt. I battle depression so that's why but recently I've gone through something I've never gone through before and it has forever changed me. So far, the change is good.

 

Baby steps for all of us lol ;-)

 

I can preach all day to my friends, co-workers etc...but what the heck? My own love life is in shambles. I tell everyone your too good, there is someone better out there, etc....

[me85]

Baby steps for all of us lol ;-)

 

I can preach all day to my friends, co-workers etc...but what the heck? My own love life is in shambles. I tell everyone your too good, there is someone better out there, etc....

 

We all do that. But I swear, now I can honestly say that I practice what I preach.

 

 

You're really doing just fine. You're just venting. Each day you're getting over it and you see it. That's all any of us on this site can hope for. To recognize our own progress while getting over someone or something. AND YOU ARE!

 

 

So now, I'd like to take a moment and congratulate you for that...

 

 

CONGRATULATIONS HOURGLASSANGEL!!!