Tayla Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Have the lawyer deal with the communication side. Sign the divorce papers. Support yourself. Be friends, make friends. Be independent. Dating needs to be put on hold. You aren't near ready for it. YelloJane- Re-read what I wrote and then apply it. DKT3- She was abused. Lets not cover that up with more dirt on this lady. She deserves our informative and objective advisal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 YelloJane- Re-read what I wrote and then apply it. DKT3- She was abused. Lets not cover that up with more dirt on this lady. She deserves our informative and objective advisal. I have read most of what she has writen here and she is all over the place and has this everyone around me is horrible but I'm good attitude. Her family is against her, her brother beats her up, her husband beats her up, she cusses her mother out because she is on his side. Everything happens to her all while she is being a perfect angel. I'm not buying it. If I'm wrong then I'm really sorry for the misjudgement. But I'm going purely from what she has wrote here. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 I have read most of what she has writen here and she is all over the place and has this everyone around me is horrible but I'm good attitude. Her family is against her, her brother beats her up, her husband beats her up, she cusses her mother out because she is on his side. Everything happens to her all while she is being a perfect angel. I'm not buying it. If I'm wrong then I'm really sorry for the misjudgement. But I'm going purely from what she has wrote here. Per the rules we are to deal directly with the inquiry by the OP. I reviewed this particualr section and did not read her brother or past background responses. Those were in other threads in which she responded to. You seem passionate in wanting to call her out, yet its not necessary...all things will unfold in due time. Save your energy for worthwhile causes. You have some good things to say, others need your feedback. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 YJ, I haven't read all the responses here but is there a shelter you can call to get some food? If your relatives can't even help you, then you need to find some other avenue of support. First things first -- see if you can find a place like that that can help you. Maybe even Goodwill? Can you apply for welfare? I don't know how any of this works but there must be some agency or system out there that can help you. Or calling one of those places may provide you with some answers as to what to do next. Also, stop worrying about your ridiculous future ex, and please stop communicating with him. He is pure poison. Once you get an attorney and this dumb butt is served with divorce papers, your stock answer to him needs to be, "You'll need to talk to my attorney about that." Please stop letting this bully intimidate and frighten you, and stop letting him occupy your mind so much. He has used and abused you enough. Are there any small restaurants near your relative's house that are within walking distance? If so, maybe you could get a waitressing job. Tips will give you quick income. I'm hoping that the people you're staying with are not also abusive. If they are, please find somewhere else to stay. I think calling a women's shelter would be your best bet at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 I have read most of what she has writen here and she is all over the place and has this everyone around me is horrible but I'm good attitude. Her family is against her, her brother beats her up, her husband beats her up, she cusses her mother out because she is on his side. Everything happens to her all while she is being a perfect angel. I'm not buying it. If I'm wrong then I'm really sorry for the misjudgement. But I'm going purely from what she has wrote here. Typically, people in abusive relationships come from abusive families. That's not really a big leap. This girl's husband abused her horribly for years. He threw a puppy against a wall. Who cares if she slept with the whole country of China? It was all bets off when he abused her. What's complicated about this? Of course she's somewhat of an emotional wreck and seeks out love and support wherever she can find it. You have no idea how lost and horrible abuse can make a person feel. Please be very careful about dishing out judgement on anyone in these situations. This is exactly how they stay immersed in the abuse. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Per the rules we are to deal directly with the inquiry by the OP. I reviewed this particualr section and did not read her brother or past background responses. Those were in other threads in which she responded to. You seem passionate in wanting to call her out, yet its not necessary...all things will unfold in due time. Save your energy for worthwhile causes. You have some good things to say, others need your feedback. My point is relevent. Moving forward from bad situations its a must that we are honest with ourselves. My comments may seem harsh and odd, not my intent. We must all accept our roles in the breakdown of relationships. My first thought was, wow I really feel for this young lady. That is what drove me to read more of her story. Its simply all over the place. My basic message he move forward on her own. Stop asking for him to take care of her. Again if I'm wrong here, I'm very sorry. I have no respect for men that abuse women in any form. However, infidelity is abuse at its highest form, worse when those who do won't take any responsibilty, rather blaming the betrayed. I'm not here to be disrespectful, sorry you feel I have been so I will bow out. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Again if I'm wrong here, I'm very sorry. I have no respect for men that abuse women in any form. However, infidelity is abuse at its highest form, worse when those who do won't take any responsibilty, rather blaming the betrayed. Goodness! I don't think cheating could be considered abuse. And certainly not "abuse in its highest form". Really?? Link to post Share on other sites
WasOtherWoman Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 I am not a lawyer, but posted a few pages ago that you need him to support you. You have only been married for two years, I can't imagine you will get much, if anything in the way of financial support. As others have said, it is imperative that you get out there and start supporting yourself ASAP. Take anything, there is no shame in being independent. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Goodness! I don't think cheating could be considered abuse. And certainly not "abuse in its highest form". Really?? It is abuse- infidelity. Yes really. The OP has yet to respond since the last bout, so like DKT3 said, its time to bail out of this thread. The OP has been given reasonable resolutions. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 It is abuse- infidelity. Yes really. The OP has yet to respond since the last bout, so like DKT3 said, its time to bail out of this thread. The OP has been given reasonable resolutions. Well, I think you're using the abuse term quite liberally. Especially in the context of this situation where her husband hit her and she was shaking so badly that she couldn't control herself. No doubt this kind of abuse has gone on for years. Yet you're comparing THAT to her cheating (in any form) on her low-life husband?? Yeah, poor guy. I really feel for him. Nice try, but cheating is not abuse. Maybe if it was someone's intent to cheat in order to inflict pain, you could call that abuse, but to put all cheating in the abuse category is simply ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
billy baru Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Cheating IS abuse. Unless you're the one doing the cheating. Then it's simply trying to "be happy". Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Yellow, we haven't heard from you in awhile. Are you doing ok? Link to post Share on other sites
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