k_lily Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 Okay, so here goes it.... My fiance and I have been engaged fo almost a year, and together for just a year and a half. We've had our ups and downs (hey, nobody is perfect), but all in all things have been rather good. There is only one problem: I am a jealous person. He can be too, but this is most definitely an issue on my part. Specifically I am writing because I have concerns because with our wedding in August, the Bachelor party is already in the planning. Now I trust my fiance, he is my best friend and the love of my life, but I just need to know how I can feel comfortable with him being out there with who knows what going on. I'm not worried he'll wake up the next morning in some strangers bed, but just the thought of some other woman gyrating her body in his face would drive me nuts!!!! Not to mention the stories that I've heard about relatives and close friends running into problems at bechelor parties doesn't set my stomach to well. So here's the deal, I just want some suggestions from anyone, guys or girls as to what I should do and how I can bide my time once that day comes. Obviously I want him to have a good time, but I want to make sure I'm not so worried that I can't. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 He's marrying you and spending the rest of his life with you. What does it really matter if one night some woman is doing a dance on his lap? As long as he's not screwing someone else I don't understand why you're so concerned. You will have him for-the-rest-of-his-life. Let him have a little fun one night. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 That's what I'm talking about Pocky!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 I've always supported the stripper at the party. Tan didn't agree with me in his post, but I don't see what the problem is. There are more important things to a marriage than the possibility of your spouse seeing someone naked. "GASP! A naked body! My husband/wife saw a naked body. I can't overcome the trauma of it." Really, it seems so silly to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Hund1976 Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Plan your bachelorette party the same night, then you won't be home bored wondering what he's up to. Just try not to worry about it. If your relationship is good overall your boyfriend getting a lap dance shouldn't ruin it. Link to post Share on other sites
Amyjk Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 I know exactly how you feel! I am also engaged and the jealous type. My fiance know how I feel about bachelor parties and strippers and insists there won't be any at his party, but I'm sure his friends will not respect my wishes. Can you talk to your fiance about how you feel? I know that in the grand scheme of things that to some people this issue may be very trivial, but obviously not to us! If your fiance feels he has to go through with it...Is it possible to have the party at an earlier date, so that you have time to get over it before the wedding day? A bride-to- be should not have to deal with this right before the big day! I'm sure there have been tons of jealous brides who have had to deal with the bachelor party BS!! I'm sorry I haven't been much help! I wish you luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 For Goodness Sakes ya'll- It's a right of passage to have a stripper at your bachelor party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cut the guys some slack! Sure, they want one- even if they don't tell you they do! If you trust your man it doesn't matter!!! Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Uh I don't think its a "right of passage" per se. I wouldn't want one. I want to marry someone who feels the same. Personal preference... llama Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 LMAO I dated a stripper for awhile! He was the stripper at one of my GF's bachelorette parties I don't know.. obviously some parties get out of hand.. but I guess like the Llama said, it's a matter of personal preference and whats going to be okay with both people. Link to post Share on other sites
billybadass36 Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Honestly, if my fiancee told me that she was uncomfortable with a stripper being at my bachelor party, I would insist that one not be there. It's not ENTIRELY up to the bachelor, however, and that's unfortunate. I really don't want a peeler at my bach party, but I'd have a serious mutiny on my hands if they didn't get me one...or four. Your fiance' may be just doing what he's told by his guy friends. The bachelor party really isn't about the bachelor at all - it's about the bachelor's stupid friends getting the bachelor all liquored up and having one or more attractive, naked women embarrass and humiliate him. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by billybadass36 Honestly, if my fiancee told me that she was uncomfortable with a stripper being at my bachelor party, I would insist that one not be there. It's not ENTIRELY up to the bachelor, however, and that's unfortunate. I really don't want a peeler at my bach party, but I'd have a serious mutiny on my hands if they didn't get me one...or four. Your fiance' may be just doing what he's told by his guy friends. The bachelor party really isn't about the bachelor at all - it's about the bachelor's stupid friends getting the bachelor all liquored up and having one or more attractive, naked women embarrass and humiliate him. Yeah, I agree, but there was some talk with my last ex about getting married and I said "I won't marry a man who isn't able to stand up to his friends, and if you believe in not having one as much as you claim and your friends got one anyway, I'd expect you to leave." Marriage isn't for wimps! If he can't tell his friends no, then we'll never make it. Of course he agreed, but who knows if the lying mofo meant it. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Suggest to your loving, UNDERSTANDING fiance that you think it'd be a great idea to have a huge get-together and barbeque. Then do something cool with all the money you'd spend otherwise. My husband and I got married in December, we had a pre-wedding Luau where all of our friends and family came, and we had a hula dancer giving hula lessons. He loved it, I loved it, everyone did! Don't feel bad for feeling jealous over this, it's normal. You need a mate that understands and is on the same wavelength as you, and if he's as good as he sounds, he'll understand. Just explain it to him and add some role reversal and see if he understands your viewpoint. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 I want a bachelor party and a bachlorette party all for me and if my bf has a problem too bad! lol I dont see anything wrong with it. If you trust your husband and remember that he is YOUR husband and his HEART belongs to you, and that hes yours for the rest of his and yours life, then one last night out with the boys, drinking and looking at some tits isn't going to change that. Link to post Share on other sites
Hund1976 Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 If I was getting married and my future wife wanted a bachelorette party with a stripper I wouldn't care. I wouldn't want to know all the details either though. I would worry less about her going to a strip club then going to a regular bar. Strippers are just doing there job, but regular guys want to take a girl home. If you trust him it shouldn't be a big deal. When my best friend got married we went to a strip club and he got some dances and everyone had a great time. His wife found out about it later and she was mad for a little while but got over it. They are coming up on their two year anniversary soon. Anyway I don't think seeing a stripper should be a breaking point for a relationship. Just my 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 I don't blame you. Fiancees, even "nice" ones, often cheat at bachelor parties. Remember he will be blind drunk, be pressured by all his friends to have "one last go", and will most likely have one or more naked women gyrating in his face. I would get a trusted male friend to go along to the party, with strict orders to make sure your bf doesn't go too far (i.e. no actual sexual contact, just looking is ok). If you can't do this, maybe just tell your bf that you have spoken to one of the party attendees and he agreed to report back to you everything that happens. If you bf thinks everything he does will get back to you, he won't be tempted to stray (unless he's a complete scumbag). Link to post Share on other sites
Sealy Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 honestly! if your that insecure about what your future other half is going to be up to that night THIS CLOSE TO YOUR WEDDING DAY then you might wanna rethink why your getting married.. from a guys point of view: its one last night were we are allowed.. nay EXPECTED to cut loose, yes there will most likely be a stripper(s), yes where will be some explict sences. but its a bucks night! its what happens! i wouldnt worry too much, his mates will look after him... they shouldnt let him get into too much trouble that they havnt already organised for him ie chained to a light post nekkid p.s. if my future wife told me that she called the venue and expected updates on what i was upto i wouldnt be able to run fast enough! its just rude and untrustworthly... NOT the best way to start a marriage.. Link to post Share on other sites
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