Boyfriend ignoring me - I'm on vacation

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

I phoned him yesterday, he answered and was very blunt throughout the conversation. He was saying "this is supposed to be my week of peace" "I'm going to have a 40 pound phone bill" "I sent you a message before you went the was saying just have a good time" etc etc.

 

He couldn't wait to hang up the phone either and to be honest I felt like he didn't want to talk to me in the first place.

 

I asked if he missed me and his reply was "kind of yeah" and I asked I he's excited about picking me up from the airport and his reply was "of course".

 

I really don't understand him and I just think it's plain rude.

 

I said to him as a joke "oh when I get back home you'll probably be like see you later" (meaning break up with me) his reply was "you just worry too much".

 

I sent him 1 last message last night saying I'm switching my phone off until

I leave to go to the airport to enjoy my holiday, and at the end I wrote "love you loads bye see you soon" and all he put was "love you too bye".

 

I'm fed up and quite frankly have felt like this vacation is ruined because of the way he's made me feel.

 

I've got 3 days left to make him miss me, will not contacting him make him miss me?

 

It is not what you do to make someone miss you. They either do or they don't. To me his love for you is not being shared the same, or that he is too distant with sharing personal feelings.

 

You must figure that out by how your relationship started, and progressed to where it is now. To me your feelings are not clingy or needy, so don't think you are over reacting. It is good to make contact even when you are having time to yourself. It is normal to want to share thoughts about the other time to time.

 

I recently had similar time away from my LDR, and sent emails on just about every day while she was on holiday. She only replied once and it was brief, not bad or good just said she missed me at the end of her message. Many would see the negatives as she had a whole week of time to reply between activities. I expected her to have time to herself with her husband, and never took the reply any less than any other loving reply I have gotten from her. If you understand your relationship, there is no guess work in what you have, my guess work if anything was how things were going along, busy and what not.

 

I feel bad that your holiday is ruined by how he affected your thoughts about him not caring as deeply. I know it was something you planned to share with him, even if you took time to relax and enjoy a peaceful moment.

 

In hind sight the comments made about ignore the issue and let it pass, seemed right for your holiday time. No worries better experiences.

 

To me you wanted answers, as many women don't like to be told to ignore their feelings, and only makes matters worse. Depending on anxiety you could have been tearing yourself apart just having no defining answer about your issue.

 

I hope you can find what you have had in holiday to still be pleasurable in their own way, and the few days left to make a new, and a good start in finalizing a chapter in your life. Take the time to clear your head, to appreciate who you are and open your eyes a wee wider and accept you want more than what you had been given.

 

To be honest, my LDR had a blowout in midst her holiday, her man ruined their night together, so she went off alone the next day to do as she pleased. She made it pleasurable with her strong will and determination.

 

I believe you have that as well, so push the hurt aside and take your moment and find some adventure in your life, as everyday should be a pleasurable experience. If you want to share something you did on your last few days, go right ahead, we'll be happy to see you find your way through this.

[rester]

Worrying will only make things worse. Sounds like you two needed some time apart but you haven't been letting him have that. Do you have conflicting needs for time spent together? I'm like this with my girlfriend sometimes. I need a lot of alone time and she has a hard time understanding why. It's not that I love her any less, I just need my time to do my own thing. It could be he feels he has been neglecting his own friends and/or himself, and wants to use this time for catching up.

 

If you don't understand each other's needs for space in the relationship, after two years together, it might be time for that talk. But save it for when you return from your vacation. For now enjoy yourself.

[saz123]

Worrying will only make things worse. Sounds like you two needed some time apart but you haven't been letting him have that. Do you have conflicting needs for time spent together? I'm like this with my girlfriend sometimes. I need a lot of alone time and she has a hard time understanding why. It's not that I love her any less, I just need my time to do my own thing. It could be he feels he has been neglecting his own friends and/or himself, and wants to use this time for catching up.

 

If you don't understand each other's needs for space in the relationship, after two years together, it might be time for that talk. But save it for when you return from your vacation. For now enjoy yourself.

 

He said "you're only worried about me forgetting you because you're a worrier" and he's right, I naturally just worry!

 

I think you're right, he loves his own space. And I feel that he feels like I don't understand why - sometimes I don't.

 

I need your advice here though - if your girlfriend annoyed you because she kept messaging you, then she stopped messaging you and you had N/C for 3 days - would you miss her, even if she annoyed you?

 

You sound exactly like my boyfriend he just thrives off of his own company and I guess sometimes I smother him!

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

He said "you're only worried about me forgetting you because you're a worrier" and he's right, I naturally just worry!

 

I think you're right, he loves his own space. And I feel that he feels like I don't understand why - sometimes I don't.

 

I need your advice here though - if your girlfriend annoyed you because she kept messaging you, then she stopped messaging you and you had N/C for 3 days - would you miss her, even if she annoyed you?

 

You sound exactly like my boyfriend he just thrives off of his own company and I guess sometimes I smother him!

 

Sounds like he enables your worrying a lot... until he learns to show some re-affirmative skills that you need, you are never going to feel right by him. Question is, are you willing to change your ways to ignore those moments, or is he willing to show a more tender side even though he does not like to feel he is taking away from your time. Maybe you both can settle for in in between. Like no promises and just a wee effort in keeping in touch.

 

Outside of worrying, seems that there is a lot of underlying friction, that also enables your worry spells. Could be you may ask of him to change more than what started the mess during your holiday away.

[saz123]

Before I got on my flight last week he sent me this text message;

 

I hope you have the best time away ever I'm sure you will and I cant wait to hear all your stories and also to see all the photos! I will miss you of course and ill be thinking the whole time about what your up to where you are and how you are! I love you lots cya soon enjoy it queen bee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

 

Now he's blunt with me and ignoring me all because I kept messaging him.

 

I'm goin to give him space now for the next few days.

 

FEELINGS CANT CHANGE THAT QUICKLY can they?

[MidwestUSA]

Before I got on my flight last week he sent me this text message;

 

I hope you have the best time away ever I'm sure you will and I cant wait to hear all your stories and also to see all the photos! I will miss you of course and ill be thinking the whole time about what your up to where you are and how you are! I love you lots cya soon enjoy it queen bee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

 

Now he's blunt with me and ignoring me all because I kept messaging him.

 

I'm goin to give him space now for the next few days.

 

FEELINGS CANT CHANGE THAT QUICKLY can they?

 

 

 

OMG, no! You've conjured all this up in your own mind!

 

 

Why didn't you just take his word and enjoy your time away?

 

 

If your vacation is ruined, there's only one person to blame.

[d0nnivain]

Reread the 1st message every day & stop worrying. If you continue to press all this drama you have conjured up in your own mind, he will dump you for being nutty. Calm down. Enjoy your vacation.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

obviously there is a communication issue... will probably continue through the whole relationship. there needs to be talks between them on expectations and understandings. this is both your faults, one side being he is disconnected from seeing what you want in caring and the other is being a wee needy when separtated. iwonder if there is some worries about his interests when he has time away.

[saz123]

Reread the 1st message every day & stop worrying. If you continue to press all this drama you have conjured up in your own mind, he will dump you for being nutty. Calm down. Enjoy your vacation.

 

That's exactly what I'm doing.

 

He is picking me up from the airport when I return anyway.

 

He should of cooled off by then too.

[d0nnivain]

Excellent! I hope your reunion is everything you want.

[Els]

OP,

 

Take a deep breath. Stop obsessing and getting anxious about your relationship.

 

Just enjoy the few days left of your vacation (which you should have been doing anyway!), then come back and enjoy the reunion with him. It doesn't have to be that complicated!

[saz123]

OP,

 

Take a deep breath. Stop obsessing and getting anxious about your relationship.

 

Just enjoy the few days left of your vacation (which you should have been doing anyway!), then come back and enjoy the reunion with him. It doesn't have to be that complicated!

 

Thank you. I will do

 

I just worry he won't be there when I return but who could leave someone at an airport!