I am a failure

[Mr Scorpio]

As I said before, if I could I would throw this in the trash and start all over again. Start by not going to an all-boy's high school. Start all over by being a more physically attractive. Start by not feeling like every time I get up, I get suckerpunched or kicked in the stomach. Start all over again by getting new cards.

 

And you know that you cannot do any of those things. So, what are you going to do instead?

[Cristo]

I know that everyone's path is different. However, I can't help but feel like I'm alien. Like I'm minus human. Love and sex are a fundamental cornerstone of human experience. Countless songs are about it. Commercials. Books. Movies. Television shows. It is everywhere and you are reminded of being excluded from this human experience. It's not just sex but just being with another person. Having another person exhibit love or lust towards you. People like Tesla, Einstein, Leonardo, had women madly pursuing them. Makes you start to wonder where did you go wrong in the path. What kind of defect are you that you can't even get a lucky break. Not even in college. Not even in New York. You have to ask yourself what planet you came from and when you get to go home because you don't want to live here anymore.

 

Being the only virgin out of all your friends. So much so that you have to start making up stories just not to stand out. You have to say "right right man, totally." "haha, yeah man. I remember I hooked up with this one girl..." "yeah man, I hooked up with eh....um.... about 12 girls so far. You know, it's no big deal." You start to feel your real self get worn away, replaced by a cheap cardboard copy. Every act you do is false, fake, contrived. Laughing because it's your queue to laugh. Saying you only want to drink water for now because you don't "feel like drinking tonight". Portraying false confidence. Saying you "need to go home and get to bed, it's been a long day" when in actuality it's just bull.

 

Then if by some cosmic stroke of luck a girl did show interest in you, is it because she likes you as a person? Or does she like your occupation? Your money? What she can get from you? What are her ulterior motives?

 

As I said before, if I could I would throw this in the trash and start all over again. Start by not going to an all-boy's high school. Start all over by being a more physically attractive. Start by not feeling like every time I get up, I get suckerpunched or kicked in the stomach. Start all over again by getting new cards.

 

When I say I'm a failure, I primarily mean a genetic one. I haven't even had a girl want me for whatever reason. You see girls going for "alpha males", saying they only want guys with experience. You see girls say one thing and do another.

 

Answer these questions:

 

When was the last time you approached a girl?

 

What is your immediate goal? Losing your virginity? Getting a girlfriend? Just enjoying the company of a woman?

 

I'm guessing you're a introvert. Do you have issues socializing with everyone or just women?

[Ryan R.]

Answer these questions:

 

When was the last time you approached a girl?

 

What is your immediate goal? Losing your virginity? Getting a girlfriend? Just enjoying the company of a woman?

 

I'm guessing you're a introvert. Do you have issues socializing with everyone or just women?

 

 

I did a month of daytime approaches last year. Approached over 100 girls. Got 3 numbers, two of them were out of service, texted the other one. No response. So I've stopped trying. I do get a bit anxious around people but I start to ease up. I get really anxious around attractive women, especially in one on one conversations. It's like I have to prove that I am a valid male.

 

Losing my virginity is an easier goal. I planned on doing this concept my friend calls "ladder theory" in order to get experience with girls I'm not attracted to, so I can get the girls I want to. That's in the trash now. With the way girls are now, I doubt I'll ever be in a relationship or find someone who is deeply attracted to me. It almost makes life not worth living. Almost.

[Candreas]

I did a month of daytime approaches last year. Approached over 100 girls. Got 3 numbers, two of them were out of service, texted the other one. No response. So I've stopped trying. I do get a bit anxious around people but I start to ease up. I get really anxious around attractive women, especially in one on one conversations. It's like I have to prove that I am a valid male.

Losing my virginity is an easier goal. I planned on doing this concept my friend calls "ladder theory" in order to get experience with girls I'm not attracted to, so I can get the girls I want to. That's in the trash now. With the way girls are now, I doubt I'll ever be in a relationship or find someone who is deeply attracted to me. It almost makes life not worth living. Almost.

 

It's time for new friends. Seriously.

[OwMyEyeball]

I did a month of daytime approaches last year. Approached over 100 girls. Got 3 numbers, two of them were out of service, texted the other one. No response. So I've stopped trying. I do get a bit anxious around people but I start to ease up. I get really anxious around attractive women, especially in one on one conversations. It's like I have to prove that I am a valid male.

 

Losing my virginity is an easier goal. I planned on doing this concept my friend calls "ladder theory" in order to get experience with girls I'm not attracted to, so I can get the girls I want to. That's in the trash now. With the way girls are now, I doubt I'll ever be in a relationship or find someone who is deeply attracted to me. It almost makes life not worth living. Almost.

How are girls now that lead you to believe that?

[Ryan R.]

How are girls now that lead you to believe that?

 

Girls now are just extremely flighty. They don't know what they want. A lot of women haven't know nwhat they want either since time immemorial, but it is amplified now. So many choices, so little time. Why settle for this guy when you can have that guy. Why bother paying attention to him when you can pay attention to your iPhone. The average attention span has shrank dramatically over the past 50 years and the narcissism personality index has skyrocketed. I know guys are guilty of this too but I'm also not dating guys. It just seems that the average girl seems to be more trouble than she's worth, unfortunately.

[OwMyEyeball]

Girls now are just extremely flighty. They don't know what they want. A lot of women haven't know nwhat they want either since time immemorial, but it is amplified now. So many choices, so little time. Why settle for this guy when you can have that guy. Why bother paying attention to him when you can pay attention to your iPhone. The average attention span has shrank dramatically over the past 50 years and the narcissism personality index has skyrocketed. I know guys are guilty of this too but I'm also not dating guys. It just seems that the average girl seems to be more trouble than she's worth, unfortunately.

Do you know what you want?

[Ryan R.]

Do you know what you want?

 

I just want to prove to myself that I can make it.

 

First comes sex, then hopefully finding a relationship.

[OwMyEyeball]

You may want to forgive these women for not "knowing what they want" when your own goals are fairly broad.

 

Saying you want sex and an eventual relationship is akin to someone saying they want a career or to enjoy their lives. There's some direction there, but it's vague.

 

Unless you've got larger aspirations, ones that can keep you firmly grounded and you can return to in times of uncertainty, then what you may find when you do become sexually active and enter into a relationship is that you're still lost.

 

Getting what you want satisfies a craving. The effects are very short lived. Once the pleasure wears off you're back in your own head.

 

Learning to enjoy what you've got - in your case a strong career, supportive family, youth, health, wealth - will grant you far more satisfaction in life than obsessing over what you don't.

[Ryan R.]

You may want to forgive these women for not "knowing what they want" when your own goals are fairly broad.

 

Saying you want sex and an eventual relationship is akin to someone saying they want a career or to enjoy their lives. There's some direction there, but it's vague.

 

Unless you've got larger aspirations, ones that can keep you firmly grounded and you can return to in times of uncertainty, then what you may find when you do become sexually active and enter into a relationship is that you're still lost.

 

Getting what you want satisfies a craving. The effects are very short lived. Once the pleasure wears off you're back in your own head.

 

Learning to enjoy what you've got - in your case a strong career, supportive family, youth, health, wealth - will grant you far more satisfaction in life than obsessing over what you don't.

 

 

 

Once I get this area of my life sorted out, everything will be great. It will feel as if a weight has been taken off my shoulders. When I wrote the original post, I was pretty depressed. I still feel as if this is something that I need to do. I need to have sex. I need that validation. I need that feeling of being found attractive. I just want to feel like I'm human. This is s human thing to do. To be attracted and to attract. I don't feel human at all. Once I do it, I know it can happen again.