adna89 Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Any single 40 year old females? is it true that men same age prefer mostly younger women(in their 30s)? how hard is it to meet someone once you get to that age Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Age is only used as a guide line by men because their focus is on appearances. If you are way younger looking, fit and vibrant, you won't have a problem even having younger men interested in you. You are back into the dating scene?, you have competition, time to get a new look/ wardrobe, get in shape and start living life. You will catch someones eye. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 That's such a broad question. It depends of who you are, how you behave, what's your state of mind, how you dress, what are your values, how you look (to some extent). To be on point, I'm 42 yo, and I haven't had any problems getting dates. When getting on the market you need to be prepared with a high self esteem, clear and high standards (of behavior, expectations on how you expect to be treated),clear goals, low initial expectations, patience, calm, and lots of practice. Most of all, you have to have a strong faith that you can find a happy relationship for yourself, no matter the circumstances, your age, location etc. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I was dating at 38; met my husband at 39. I have many friends over 40 who are still dating. It's not as easy as it was back in the day in part because many of our age group don't socialize at bars or parties any more. But it's still possible. You just have to make more of an effort. Join things. Go to events. Political & charitable fundraisers offer great places to meet & mingle. Certain business / industry events have social sides. OLD is a tool. Over 50 you can use a site called OurTime. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Any single 40 year old females? is it true that men same age prefer mostly younger women(in their 30s)? how hard is it to meet someone once you get to that age No, that's not true. They prefer younger women in their 20s no matter how old they are. There's exceptions to everything of course. Best to have a lot of activities you really enjoy and try to meet someone that way who realizes they just enjoy your company and haven't had much luck with 20-year-olds in a few years and is open to it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I agree that if you are younger looking you can attract men, but once they find out you're over 35, moist of them still back away and stop trying to get to know you. There's exceptions to everything though. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Of all my over 40 friends that are single (male) not one of them is dating 20 something year olds or cares to. They are dating age appropriate because they don't want kids and want someone that has the same mentality...grown up looking for someone to grow old with. Ya there are those twits that date someone their daughter's age, but that says a lot about that person. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Kid_Charlemange Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Any single 40 year old females? is it true that men same age prefer mostly younger women(in their 30s)? how hard is it to meet someone once you get to that age I met my second wife on eHarmony when I was 41 and she was 40. We were together for seven years, until her death. It's been tougher for me this time around. Plenty of dates, but a very difficult time finding someone to click with. I believe that ever since OLD became more mainstream, people (especially women) treat it as a catalog shopping experience: They have a very specific set of criteria, and unless things are absolutely perfect, they give up pretty easily, knowing there are a dozen more candidates waiting on the dating site. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 i dont like old......its scary.......i dont like being swamped by guys.....when i used to go out and dance at clubs...not drinking....i would attract younger men......older men all types of men....i asked for id with the fresh ones....who got too fresh......my age i disclosed .....always....saying i am old enough to be your mother.......doesnt that creep you out.....i would dance with them ...never dated them...one fresh guy jumped into my friends car at the end of the night with me.....came back to my friends place where i was picking up my girls.......even though his car was at the club......he never got anything and it took him back to the club in a cab and went home with my girls ...i did give him my phone number because he had guts.......lol......he was pretty drunk and didnt type it properly in his phone i could tell by the confused look on his face as he was typing.......i didnt repeat my number......he was a drinker.....and i have been there and done that...not returning.... so i dont club anymore......which is a shame because i love love love to dance...... i dont have a problem attracting guys never really have since i grew boobs......and my age now doesn't affect who i attract.......i am more selective......and i dont date just for the sake of dating....... i also agree joining clubs is a way to meet potential love interests ....because they love what you are interested in.....i am altruistic so a guy who helps others is high on my list.....a guy who loves kids.....and people in general......i am likely to observe and if i like a guy i let them know......i rarely develop an interest to date.....i am ready to date......i just know who isnt for me and what isnt for me...old is out.....clubs are out....... i always feel that you are only as old as you feel at your heart level...and i am just a big kid..i see beauty in everything...forever hopeful.......i see the good in loads of things including people....ill know when its the right guy for me to date..god will touch my heart with a finger prod and i will know...i normally do.....a certain something makes me look up and at the guy.......that way i dont waste anyones time including mine.....i dont feel being 45 is a retirement thing.....i am too young to retire...i am taking up pilates....lol.....maybe zumba.....going back to kick boxing to 80s music....eye of the tiger style...........smilin....love zumba..i am doing this because i love to do it ....not to get a guy.........ill never be skinny....but i can be fitter than some.....and i look my age....i am not a fan of caking my face...........deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dj572 Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I am a 40 year old divorced man and if I decide to date again I would prefer someone my own age. Not all guys like the younger women. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I met my second wife on eHarmony when I was 41 and she was 40. We were together for seven years, until her death. It's been tougher for me this time around. Plenty of dates, but a very difficult time finding someone to click with. I believe that ever since OLD became more mainstream, people (especially women) treat it as a catalog shopping experience: They have a very specific set of criteria, and unless things are absolutely perfect, they give up pretty easily, knowing there are a dozen more candidates waiting on the dating site. I'm sorry Kid_Charlemange but this goes BOTH ways! Trust me. Men have the EXACT same impossible standards and criteria and more often than not, especially if they can get away with it, use OLD as their very own bootycall black book more than a means for find a serious relationship. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Kid_Charlemange Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I'm sorry Kid_Charlemange but this goes BOTH ways! Trust me. Men have the EXACT same impossible standards and criteria Maybe. But biology tells a different story, and pretty much everything I've read about relationships say that women are much more rigid in their selections. That probably goes back to our cave man days: The female looks for the alpha male, who will bring meat to the cave and fend of predators. The alpha male wants to spread his DNA far and wide, so he's far less picky. A generalization, of course, but one that is based on mountains of evidence. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
D.Mc. Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Hi Adna89, Your getting dates??? Then there's still hope for me... Good luck out there anyway! Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Maybe. But biology tells a different story, and pretty much everything I've read about relationships say that women are much more rigid in their selections. That probably goes back to our cave man days: The female looks for the alpha male, who will bring meat to the cave and fend of predators. The alpha male wants to spread his DNA far and wide, so he's far less picky. A generalization, of course, but one that is based on mountains of evidence. Most men arent picky when it comes to sex lol 3 Link to post Share on other sites
WesternWizard Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Most men arent picky when it comes to sex lol True, but I'm not most men, and I have about as much use for sex as I have for a dead elephant... IMO men who just want sex are in it for that pleasure/endorphin hit similar to the high a person gets from hard drugs (like snorting cocaine). I can only speak for myself... but I'm in it for LOVE and unfortunately I've found most women have hearts of ice. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BelleBeauty Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 My father who was 46 when he met his new wife who was 47. Not all older men want younger women. A lot of older men I've talked to say they prefer a women near their age because they have experienced the same generation so therefore have more common interests with one another. I've heard also that they don't like the drama and immaturity of a younger woman, though that depends on how large the age gap is. Basically a single mature women who is confident that puts herself out there has as good a chance to meet a man her age as a younger woman. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 I am 45 and I found when I started OLD 4 05 5 years ago it was extremely competitive. Now, on top of the fact I am just not interested when I take a gander at the competition I might as well take out a home equity loan and start lining up the plastic surgery because no amount of gym time has results like that. i have found dating not easy and the men know no more what they really want at this age then they did at 18. And the same games, poor communication, and rude breakups occur. Not usually so negative...I actually adore men...just a very rough day, over tired and just down that I come home to an empty house (thank goodness for critters) for the thousandth time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 35 is not considered old age It is on ls, but only for women! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PinkInTheLimo Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 I believe that ever since OLD became more mainstream, people (especially women) treat it as a catalog shopping experience: They have a very specific set of criteria, and unless things are absolutely perfect, they give up pretty easily, knowing there are a dozen more candidates waiting on the dating site. Believe me, men treat OLD exactly the same way. They have it even easier because they can date a wider range of women: the age appropriate ones and the younger ones whereas most women don't date younger men. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkInTheLimo Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 True, but I'm not most men, and I have about as much use for sex as I have for a dead elephant... IMO men who just want sex are in it for that pleasure/endorphin hit similar to the high a person gets from hard drugs (like snorting cocaine). I can only speak for myself... but I'm in it for LOVE and unfortunately I've found most women have hearts of ice. I don't know if I understand this correctly but if you are not interested in sex then most women will not want a relationship with you. I personally are not ready to give up sex before I am at least 85. This said, sex belongs for me in a serious relationship so no ONS for me or dating just for fun. But it should be there in a serious relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkInTheLimo Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Maybe. But biology tells a different story, and pretty much everything I've read about relationships say that women are much more rigid in their selections. That probably goes back to our cave man days: The female looks for the alpha male, who will bring meat to the cave and fend of predators. The alpha male wants to spread his DNA far and wide, so he's far less picky. A generalization, of course, but one that is based on mountains of evidence. What is picky? Really, is it too much to ask for: 1) In general a guy who is decent and has his life in order. Not an addict (to whatever you can be addicted to), not an ex-prisoner, not an ex-cheater, not an ex-abuser, etc... 2) A guy who makes a decent living. Has a job, owns his own home (I think that you can expect that from someone older than 40), has his finances in order. 3) A guy with good personal hygiene. Showers every day, brushes his teeth, masks his body odour with a deo and some perfume. Wears fresh clothes and knows when to wear which clothes. 4) A guy with an education level that is not too far from mine (university degree). Yes, a degree does not mean everything but if he dropped out of school at 14 and I am working on my 2nd university degree I doubt that we will have a lot in common. 5) A guy whose profile contains a bit of personal information, who can write a couple of sentences without spelling mistakes and contain some logical order. Who puts a decent pictures with his profile, one that is not totally dorky or shirtless, or cut off a picture on which he was standing with a woman. Or with his kids on it (big no-no). 6) A guy with a normal body shape, so not extremely overweight. He does not have a six-pack but no belly like he is about to give birth. Please note that I am not even mentioning his height (I don't care too much about that, I don't want him to be smaller than me that's all). If all this, which is very basic in my opinion, is considered picky, then I can as well go and pick up a homeless guy from the street in my city. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Not picky at all, but the problem is what you have descibed would be men that are still married because what woman would want to give that up? Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 I don't know if I understand this correctly but if you are not interested in sex then most women will not want a relationship with you. I personally are not ready to give up sex before I am at least 85. This said, sex belongs for me in a serious relationship so no ONS for me or dating just for fun. But it should be there in a serious relationship. I believe there are many married men that would dispute that! My best friend for one, he never knew what it was like to sleep alone until he got married. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 When I got back into dating in my mid-40's, I'd date women ranging from a couple of years older to 10 years younger. (My feeling is that if the age difference is greater than 10 years, there's usually - not always - a difficult gap in life experience and common cultural references.) Most of my dates were within a couple of years of my own. There certainly are many men who prefer to date considerably younger and attractive women - if they can - but most don't have much success unless they are above average in ways that will attract such women. Don't worry about that group, as they won't change. You don't have to be perfect to meet someone truly compatible, but you will tend to attract people who are similar in appearance and life experience. There are exceptions, of course, but being realistic about who you can attract will make for better results, I think. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 What is picky? Really, is it too much to ask for: 1) In general a guy who is decent and has his life in order. Not an addict (to whatever you can be addicted to), not an ex-prisoner, not an ex-cheater, not an ex-abuser, etc... 2) A guy who makes a decent living. Has a job, owns his own home (I think that you can expect that from someone older than 40), has his finances in order. 3) A guy with good personal hygiene. Showers every day, brushes his teeth, masks his body odour with a deo and some perfume. Wears fresh clothes and knows when to wear which clothes. 4) A guy with an education level that is not too far from mine (university degree). Yes, a degree does not mean everything but if he dropped out of school at 14 and I am working on my 2nd university degree I doubt that we will have a lot in common. 5) A guy whose profile contains a bit of personal information, who can write a couple of sentences without spelling mistakes and contain some logical order. Who puts a decent pictures with his profile, one that is not totally dorky or shirtless, or cut off a picture on which he was standing with a woman. Or with his kids on it (big no-no). 6) A guy with a normal body shape, so not extremely overweight. He does not have a six-pack but no belly like he is about to give birth. Please note that I am not even mentioning his height (I don't care too much about that, I don't want him to be smaller than me that's all). If all this, which is very basic in my opinion, is considered picky, then I can as well go and pick up a homeless guy from the street in my city. It is not too much to ask for - if you possess the same traits. I would not date a woman who didn't have her life in order, too. Simply being attractive is not a sufficient substitute, since appearance is a wasting asset, and success tends to increase with time. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts