Author PreciousOne Posted September 9, 2014 Author Share Posted September 9, 2014 I'm going to consider telling his wife about it but first I'm going to find out if he actually has it or not. No use in freaking her out about that. I'm not really sure that it's my place to tell her about that though although some may not see things that way. That would be one awkward ass conversation to have but I'll give it some thought. But first we will have to get some results. But if he does have it and he's lied about not having it then I can't see him confessing it to her. He's the take it to the grave type. But thanks for the advice, Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 My question is why the hell wont he leave me alone. Why won't he just let me go. I'm sorry about your upbringing, it sounds tough. To get back to your original questions above: It is not up to him to leave you alone or to let you go. You have to do this for yourself. Tell him it's over and to leave you alone or you WILL contact his wife for help. Block all contact with him and do not answer the door if he shows up. Tell him you will call the police if he continues to harass you. Please, please send his wife an anonymoous letter telling her to get checked for herpes. This is only fair to her. If this man truly loved you he would have divorced his wife long ago and married you. Don't let him use you anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
loveboid Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Another thing to consider is if the wife tells you she has it and when she knew. If that is the case then you would know better if he gave it to you or not. Then you could go back to your partners and let them know. Freaking her out is nothing compared to finding out more info and saving the health of others. I am sure she would understand the good intention. Link to post Share on other sites
loveboid Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Also everyone I think you need to understand the situation. This guy was better than other people OP had around her and she's grateful. How many people can say they would have it in their heart to still be thankful for being alive and for any help they got? My mother ran away from her country where she got violently raped by different guys to marry and follow my dad who went on to hit her and the kids. And she says he is still her hero for rescuing her. Stockholm syndrome? I don't know but he was a better man than she was used to and she eventually left him for an even better man who still has problems but there ya go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
peaksandvalleys Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 I didn't mean to get offensive but I hate when people say if you really don't want to deal with it you wouldn't. Time and time again there are unhappy women on this site who feel as if they are trapped in their relationships or their feelings and it's not easy to just walk away despite how others feel they would act in the situation. All people are not the same. You might hate it. You might find it insensitive. But it is the truth. How you feel about a situation and what is the reality of the situation are two entirely different things. There are always choices but many times adults want the easiest way out of a situation. The path of least resistance. We might have to give up a creature comfort or two to do what is best in the long run. Humans don't like to give up anything if they can't get an immediate result. Living life isn't easy. No one believes it is. But to say you can't do something because it is hard, not easy, or won't produce quick results is a disservice to everyone involved especially yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PreciousOne Posted September 14, 2014 Author Share Posted September 14, 2014 I'm just having a hard time, I haven't been talking to him since Thursday. I'm just so used to him. It's hard to see someone everyday for 9 yrs and then all of a sudden not talk to them. I'm so used to picking up the phone and dialing his number, I am thinking about moving again but I just moved 3 months ago and he found out where I live and I don't want to break my lease and ruin my credit just to be found again. I'm going to continue with NA and hopefully all goes well. Link to post Share on other sites
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