My boyfriend always says the same "sweet things" every morning and it's getting weird

[marycc]

Well, we have been dating for almost 9 months and EVERY SINGLE moring he says the same things to me, he's really sweet, but he always repeats himself!

He says the exact same thing everyday: "I love you so much", "I wish I could be there right now hugging you", "I can't wait to see you" (we live 2 hours apart, but we see each other regularly), "You are perfect". Everyday, these exact same words...

So, of course I started to notice this and wonderig why he does it, why does he have the need to say THE EXACT SAME WORDS everyday or why couldn't he be more... "creative" and say something else?

I'm also very sweet when I talk to him, but I say something different every morning, I don't repeat myself constantly. I also noticed that sometimes when he answers me he just repeats the things I said and nothing else... I don't know, I'm just starting to find this really weird.

I have already talked to him about this and he said that this is just the way he is, the way he expresses himself, however, he didn't explain why he repeats himself and I still find it weird.

Anyway, does anyone have a clue/advice or went through something similar?

[Wisecrack]

Then why are you asking a bunch of strangers on the net. Talk to him about it!!!

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

Not to make a confrontation about it... be creative and show him how you like things to be in your messages. Hopefully he'll pick up the cutesy tid bits and use some here and there or find his creativity.

 

If a guy is not so creative or less able to be intimate in his thoughts, making an issue may make him feel insecure about how you see him in loving you. may make him feel some inadequacies and do things to make up for the lack of. Might by cards to express himself, flowers, candy, jewelry, naughty items... the list goes on.

 

If you talk, tell him how much you appreciate and love his affection to you... and that it is not needed but well enjoyed and loved.

 

That is what my SM does to me... as I do know there are some cutesy stuff that does seem repetitive. Like a signature so to speak. I tend to mix it around a bit to do a change up time to time. But if anything, it is that one gets the feeling that with all the endless morning contacts, that the other may be doing such to appease them. Since I am in a LDR, that is the only way I can kiss her and wake her up in my morn. I tell her that my morning messages are not what they hold, but what they are able to do when I am not there with her.

 

So, you can take that as what he thinks, and keep yer thoughts about repetition to yourself, in knowing he is kissing you good morning every day. Yep morning kisses are as repetitive as one can get. What comes after is up to how you both get out of bed, or when.

[Mrin]

OP: Okay, forget the words he uses. What's his intention behind the words? Do you feel it is genuine? Or do you feel he's just mechanical and going through the motions. Don't think about the words he uses - what's in his heart? You should know.

 

Focus on that. If he is true in his heart, then take his words and the effort and thoughtfulness behind them as a routine or ritual of his. Catholics use the same words over and over to express devotion to God and Jesus. A shaman uses the same words to call up the sun at a reservation. Buddhist monks use the same words over and over to give thanks to the earth. This just may be his ritual and honestly, there are a great many women out there that wish their SO's had that ritual.

 

If you don't think the intention behind the ritual is true or genuine and he's just being mechanical, then you have another conversation to have with him and it doesn't really have much to do with how he greets you in the morning does it?

 

Best of luck!

[angel.eyes]

My boyfriend has a set morning ritual with me. I love it and would be really bummed if it stopped.

 

Usually when we start to nitpick how someone expresses his feelings, are irritated by the flaws in the way someone does nice things for us, or are easily annoyed by things the person does in general, it's because our feelings for the person are fading. As we fall out of love, we are easily irritated by the reality in front of us.

 

Is this a possibility in your situation?

[vanhalenfan]

This just may be his ritual and honestly, there are a great many women out there that wish their SO's had that ritual.

 

 

Yep, simply this...

[MissBee]

Someone sending you the exact same message every morning for 9 months can seem a bit robotic and just like they copy and paste it and it has no real meaning, so I definitely understand that.

 

I would just mention it to him and ask about how come he sends the same message and see what he says.

 

I had a small issue with my bf similarly where he would send me these "fun facts" every morning but I found it very strange and contrived and impersonal and I simply told him I like that we have a ritual but could we make it something more personal about us instead of these fun fact things.

 

It's better to be honest about your likes and dislikes and what you want to improve than the suggestion that you should just accept it. A relationship is meant to be something both people find fulfilling and if something isn't working, whether it's the sex or the daily messages...speak up. If you don't you'll just continue to be annoyed and may become resentful whereas if you do there is a chance you can both come to a solution that works for both of you.

[slizl]

This is just proof that women will never be satisfied. #greatboyfriendproblems

Honestly, read your post. I am just tired of my bf telling me I am perfect everyday, LOL.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

I donno why half of the peeps are not seeing the issue... the issue is the OP is finding things being to simple and repetitive being lazy, and not caring deeply.

 

I love to hear my woman say I love you, but she does not say it in every message. do i complain, never... but she will complain when said every day in every message. yet i do it anyway. as i rather have her pet peeve be out in the open, than not hearing her complaints. pet peeves are not complaints but are annoyances brought on by love.

 

 

maybe i'm too tired of women being too submissive to allow for full understandings to happen in opinions. seems that voicing opinion makes women feel opinionated to their men??? So i like a strong woman who is not affraid to speak their mind. just seems relationships are not as trusting in acceptance as most want.

[preraph]

People get into habits. At least his is a nice habit. I catch myself being repetitive all the time. Like when I sit down at my desk at work, for some reason, I give a big sigh or say "Whew" and I'm sure it's annoying. My excuse is I'm old but who knows how long this has been going on. When I come home from work to the dogs being happy, it's "What are you little pickles doing?"

 

He doesn't deserve criticism for it. With so many guys so uncommunicative, you're lucky he tells you how he feels. But it's true little things like that are what stack up and make you annoyed at a spouse eventually, just the routine of it and knowing what's coming next. Still, it's human nature. If it bothers you that much, how about peeling back the contact a little.

[callingyouuu]

Hmm. This is precisely the reason why I don't intend on starting a regular morning ritual with my SO.

 

"I like it when you tell me you love me, but I just wish you could invent a different way to say it every day."

[NYC-BigKat]

Well, we have been dating for almost 9 months and EVERY SINGLE moring he says the same things to me, he's really sweet, but he always repeats himself!

He says the exact same thing everyday: "I love you so much", "I wish I could be there right now hugging you", "I can't wait to see you" (we live 2 hours apart, but we see each other regularly), "You are perfect". Everyday, these exact same words...

So, of course I started to notice this and wonderig why he does it, why does he have the need to say THE EXACT SAME WORDS everyday or why couldn't he be more... "creative" and say something else?

I'm also very sweet when I talk to him, but I say something different every morning, I don't repeat myself constantly. I also noticed that sometimes when he answers me he just repeats the things I said and nothing else... I don't know, I'm just starting to find this really weird.

I have already talked to him about this and he said that this is just the way he is, the way he expresses himself, however, he didn't explain why he repeats himself and I still find it weird.

Anyway, does anyone have a clue/advice or went through something similar?

 

 

It looks like u mean the world to him . I think u should be grateful for it & not try to change him or take it all away 'cause then u wont mean the world to him anymore.

[d0nnivain]

No wonder men bang their heads on a wall.

 

So he's not creative. Is that really so horrible? He's making more of an effort than many. Read all the posts by the women who never get texts like that or who never hear the words.

 

Be grateful for what you have because it's a pretty wonderful thing.

 

My husband is not particularly complimentary. When he gives them, they tend to be 4 letter words: nice, good, fine etc. Drives me up a wall because he has an extensive vocabulary. As a joke I bought him a Thesaurus & highlighted & tabbed those words so he'd learn some synonyms. He still uses the 4 letter words although now he occasionally throws in pretty but not without reminding me that it has 5 letters.

[OwMyEyeball]

I have already talked to him about this and he said that this is just the way he is, the way he expresses himself, however, he didn't explain why he repeats himself and I still find it weird.

Did you ask for clarification?

 

Part of me wonders if there's an app out there that automatically sends out cookie-cutter texts at random times during a defined time period (say between 7AM and 9AM each day)

 

And another part of me wonders about creating one

 

Yet another part is disgusted by the idea

 

While some other part furiously scrambles for a gimmicky name for the app that I'll never develop :-/

 

Anyhow, just talk to him about the whole thing in a light-hearted way since it's a pretty minor quibble to begin with. As others have offered, it could be part of his daily ritual.

[Neith]

OP: Okay, forget the words he uses. What's his intention behind the words? Do you feel it is genuine? Or do you feel he's just mechanical and going through the motions. Don't think about the words he uses - what's in his heart? You should know.

 

Focus on that. If he is true in his heart, then take his words and the effort and thoughtfulness behind them as a routine or ritual of his. Catholics use the same words over and over to express devotion to God and Jesus. A shaman uses the same words to call up the sun at a reservation. Buddhist monks use the same words over and over to give thanks to the earth. This just may be his ritual and honestly, there are a great many women out there that wish their SO's had that ritual.

 

If you don't think the intention behind the ritual is true or genuine and he's just being mechanical, then you have another conversation to have with him and it doesn't really have much to do with how he greets you in the morning does it?

 

Best of luck!

 

This. I couldn't agree more.

 

Getting all nitpicky with how someone words something is beyond ridiculous, IMO.

This poster is correct: it should only matter whether or not he truly means what he says to you. If he does, then get over it?

 

If this guy treats you well & respects you...and this is all you have to moan about, I'd say you're a lucky girl.

[preraph]

OwMyEyeball -- I have heard of apps out there to maintain your relationship with. OP, could your man be this devious to leave the texting to his app? Or is he saying these things in person? Just checkin. I gather it's in person since you said "say," not "text."

[mightycpa]

I guess I'm in the minority when I say it is weird, robotic and maybe even contrived somehow. It is not the missing creativity, it is the part about the EXACT SAME WORDS.

 

"I love you so much" could be "I love you a bunch" or just plain "I love you." That doesn't require creativity, but it does require more than just knowing your lines. After a while, I think it would start to sound insincere.

 

Imagine hearing the EXACT SAME WORDS right before penetration EVERY TIME:

 

I want your big hard c*ck inside of me right now.

Sure, that sounds great the first few times. But after a while, I think it would get a little old.

[Fondue]

Some of you women are never satisfied.

 

Seriously.

 

Most guys (me included) wouldn't even send out morning texts. Let alone lovey-dovey ones. And on a daily basis!? That's some serious effort.

 

If you don't like it, then tell him to stop. See how you feel once you don't receive them anymore. What would you prefer?

[Assasda]

Well, we have been dating for almost 9 months and EVERY SINGLE moring he says the same things to me, he's really sweet, but he always repeats himself!

He says the exact same thing everyday: "I love you so much", "I wish I could be there right now hugging you", "I can't wait to see you" (we live 2 hours apart, but we see each other regularly), "You are perfect". Everyday, these exact same words...

So, of course I started to notice this and wonderig why he does it, why does he have the need to say THE EXACT SAME WORDS everyday or why couldn't he be more... "creative" and say something else?

I'm also very sweet when I talk to him, but I say something different every morning, I don't repeat myself constantly. I also noticed that sometimes when he answers me he just repeats the things I said and nothing else... I don't know, I'm just starting to find this really weird.

I have already talked to him about this and he said that this is just the way he is, the way he expresses himself, however, he didn't explain why he repeats himself and I still find it weird.

Anyway, does anyone have a clue/advice or went through something similar?

 

He's just unoriginal. He knows you want to hear it and he says it.

- I personally dont believe that he means it, if he says the same thing every day, but I know that you OP have seen times when he's sincere and he means it.

You should tell him to cut it out, in my opionion, its not genuine

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

I just got into a discussion about similar issue with my LDR. She still thinks i am going out of my way with her. She has that quality about her. Very reasonable and sensible. No extras for her unless warrented. I still do it just because. Again, I love to hear her say I don't need that, and show her love through her words.

[Fondue]

You know, I just thought of an example.

 

Being upset at your boyfriend for trying to be affectionate and caring but not doing a "good job" of it is akin to being mad at your child for studying his/her ass of and still bringing home "mediocre" grades. And that's just horrible.

[mightycpa]

You know, I just thought of an example.

 

Being upset at your boyfriend for trying to be affectionate and caring but not doing a "good job" of it is akin to being mad at your child for studying his/her ass of and still bringing home "mediocre" grades. And that's just horrible.

 

Only if you give your adult boyfriend no more credit than a child. Besides, she's not upset... it is beginning to give her the creeps. It is not what he's doing, it is HOW he's doing it.

 

He's not studying his ass off... he's reading the same paragraph over and over and over, but he's not finishing the chapter.

[bubbaganoosh]

Only if you give your adult boyfriend no more credit than a child. Besides, she's not upset... it is beginning to give her the creeps. It is not what he's doing, it is HOW he's doing it.

 

He's not studying his ass off... he's reading the same paragraph over and over and over, but he's not finishing the chapter.

 

Some women don't even get that. At least he lets her know how he feels which is a hell of a lot better then a jab in the eye with a sharp stick.

 

I was married to a woman who couldn't or wouldn't say I love you even with a gun at her head. Let him stop with the compliments and watch her reaction.

[Mrin]

You know, I just thought of an example.

 

Being upset at your boyfriend for trying to be affectionate and caring but not doing a "good job" of it is akin to being mad at your child for studying his/her ass of and still bringing home "mediocre" grades. And that's just horrible.

 

Being upset at your boyfriend for trying to be affectionate and caring but not doing a "good job" of it is akin to being mad at him for vacuuming the carpet using long swipes instead of short evenly spaced ones to create a nice pattern.

 

NOTE: My GF actually heard one of her friends complain about that one. Pretty sure she unloaded both barrels on the friend. HA

[mightycpa]

Being upset at your boyfriend for trying to be affectionate and caring but not doing a "good job" of it is akin to being mad at him for vacuuming the carpet using long swipes instead of short evenly spaced ones to create a nice pattern.

 

NOTE: My GF actually heard one of her friends complain about that one. Pretty sure she unloaded both barrels on the friend. HA

 

I think it is more like your GF scratching your back, except not moving around. Just digging a ditch in your back, wearing a groove, over and over and over until it hurts.

 

It's not the thought. It is the lack of imagination, which circles back to a lack of genuine thought. More like a meaningless habit that resembles caring, but lacks in a certain respect.

 

I will speak of this no more!