OW whats the longest you have nc/or former ow how long has it been since you ended

[lynnered]

hey everybody

couldnt sleep last night

thinking of XMM

i am going through nc

3 1/2 weeks nothing from him ,

then he starts iming &emailing

ive been firm as far as not seeing him

and its amusing to me how much he misses me

it feels kind of good to let him feel what its like to want to see someone ,and you cant .

he says hes leaving "one day"

i say then "one day"you can see me

i dont know where the chips will fall

im not ready to date yet

yet i know with me distance does not make my heart grow fonder so it is surprizing ive gone 6 weeks with out seeing him !!

he was practicly beging through email

i sent a short email "i do not want to see you until you get a divorce,i thought i told you that?

stopped the begging!! he still ims me i just dont logg in, ill sometimes send a reply .

anyway just wanted to know how other OW NC experiences have went ,like how many times have you NC &the former OW how long it took for him to finally leave you alone .

[Nubianangel]

Initially, I joined LS because I was the OW to a co-worker I was in love with. He had a girlfriend and child--family at home. I wanted to tell my story and relate to others. Funny thing is, a lot of the posters encouraged me to see my worth and to know I deserved more. I did and left him a month later.

 

Unfortunately, we STILL work together and he is now my direct supervisor. We laugh about some of the things we've done and at times he will allude to us fooling around "just one more time". I put my foot down each time and tell him 'no, you have a family' and 'you can never give me what I truly deserve'. What I mean by that is, I know he has no qualms about roaming outside of a relationship. I deserve more. I also know that trust would ALWAYS be an issue and a relationship without trust is hopeless. I deserve more. It's not a NC situation because of work but it's been a year since we stopped messing around and I'm happier now.

 

You deserve more too, love yourself first.

[izzybelle]

while i see it's benefits, i'm not a subscriber (for me) to the NC method of letting go.

 

MM#1, our social paths cross frequently, not an option. but the A ended, it had to for his sanity more than anything else, and we remain friends. and yes, there's a little harmless teasing that goes on periodically, but for both of us, there's a commitment to it not happening again. he is sep from his W now, and i'm in contact with him but being VERY careful to walk the line as his FRIEND. he has made no suggestion of anything else, and i don't know that he will.

 

MM#2, our work paths cross periodically, he's been a friend and collegue for a very long time and i can't and won't let this kill that part of our relationship. he doesn't always respond to my "how are you" emails, but that's ok, i've talked to him every month or so...

 

but unlike your situ. this was not my choice, he is not still pursuing me. i don't know what i'd do if that was the situation!

[tiki]

For me....

 

 

I have been out of my relationship for over one year (I think about 15 months or something). I see him almost daily, during the work week.

[lynnered]

Nubianangel

 

you are so strong i could not work with him!!!

you are right

i am going through that process of loving myself

so much focus on MM situation last couple of years i forget her(me)

 

izzybelle

it was my choice but it makes it harder that he still wants contact he texted me 10 times already today!!

which makes me feel mushy inside& at the same time i think he deserves to feel what i felt missing him not being able to talk when i needed to ,as long as i don't physically see him or talk to him on the phone .

i feel day by day i get stronger inside to eventually stop playing this game ,right now its about me

i haven't given in to him except to email or IM him once in awhile .

tiki&everyone else

question for you

do you still have those feeling for him?have your dated anyone since?

are you carrying around any resentment against him?

[tiki]

do you still have those feeling for him?

 

No way Jose!

 

have your dated anyone since?

 

Yes, I called it off with my MM when I started dating my (now) husband.

 

are you carrying around any resentment against him?

 

Oh heck no.

 

P.S. I work with (for) mine too.

[Nubianangel]

Lynnered,

Thank you and you have that same strength within. Between the two of us, lol, I'm not that strong. I've reminisced once or twice about him because the sex was just amazing but I brought myself back to reality and Miss Reality was saying "yes, the sex was great but you want MORE and you want it outside of the bedroom" which leads me to your questions...

 

do you still have those feeling for him?have your dated anyone since?

are you carrying around any resentment against him?

 

My feelings for him took about 2 months to subside. I always felt a twinge of jealousy when he'd compliment another female co-worker but suddenly, I started seeing him for who he was--a human with 4 legs!!

 

I've just ended a relationship and my ex knew about me being the OW. He had no real issue with that but he did resent the fact that we still worked together. Thanks to him I realized there were good, faithful men out there--just didn't work out!

 

I have no resentment against him, he was always upfront about his intentions. He never directly disrespected me and never promised me a thing. I created an 'us' with my fantasies so in the end the letdown was my own fault.

[StrawberryGirl]

The first time MM broke it off with me to go back to the wifey, we didn't speak for a week, so no contact for a week..lol...after a week he im'd me asking if I was mad @ him...all the girls @ work were around my computer telling me to tell him to F$%& OFF, they all wanted a chance to tell him to get on and go be w/ his wife..but I like a jack ass, I responded, gave in, and we were dating once again.

 

The second time, which is now, it had been 4 mos, but we occassionally have talked because I have a baby from him, but the conversations are short cold and to the point.