irc333 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 In lieu of the recent "Dating over 40" thread...this is something I've noticed...there's a 50/50 percent of single parents that are just over 40, and have "over 18" kids, and then the ones, the same age range, that have very young ones. Usually I tend to stay away from single moms with really young kids, but find it kind of surprising to find a parent that's 40 years old and has kids already over the age of 18. I take it some have started families at a younger age, while some started at an older? I've recently had a man in his 50's tell me he doesn't date single moms...regardless of the kids age...the kids could be in their 30's and he think kids can still be a problem as adults. *shrug* I was like "Dude...you're 50 something without kids...and you won't date single moms? Good luck with that." So your take? Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 not really sure what you're asking here.... What is your main point, exactly? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 In lieu of the recent "Dating over 40" thread...this is something I've noticed...there's a 50/50 percent of single parents that are just over 40, and have "over 18" kids, and then the ones, the same age range, that have very young ones. Usually I tend to stay away from single moms with really young kids, but find it kind of surprising to find a parent that's 40 years old and has kids already over the age of 18. I take it some have started families at a younger age, while some started at an older? Maybe some adopted teens? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 You'll find a lot of singles when their kids turn 18 who didn't have time for a social life before. Now until their grown kid has kids, they'll have time, though probably still no money to do anything, but then they'll be grandparents soon. So unless you know their grown kids moved out of state where they won't be relying on the grandmother for constant babysitting, it's still a no-go for me. It didn't used to be that way and people raised their own kids, but nowadays young people feel entitled to use their mothers to raise their kids for them while they go do whatever they want to do. Many of those mothers were counting on their freedom once their kids left school but can't seem to say no. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Pretty damn unlikely! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Current rate for women over 40 who didn't have kids is one in five in the US and the number is growing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted September 9, 2014 Author Share Posted September 9, 2014 You mean those " Boomerang kids" that go off to college for 4 years thrn come back You'll find a lot of singles when their kids turn 18 who didn't have time for a social life before. Now until their grown kid has kids, they'll have time, though probably still no money to do anything, but then they'll be grandparents soon. So unless you know their grown kids moved out of state where they won't be relying on the grandmother for constant babysitting, it's still a no-go for me. It didn't used to be that way and people raised their own kids, but nowadays young people feel entitled to use their mothers to raise their kids for them while they go do whatever they want to do. Many of those mothers were counting on their freedom once their kids left school but can't seem to say no. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 ^ Yeah, those too. It all depends on the person, though. But it's true a lot of mothers simply won't say no to their kids even after they're grown. They'd be doing them a favor if they would so they could become adults, but.... So it depends on the parents. If they've been the parent in the relationship with their kids instead of their friend, they're a lot more likely to have prepared them to be able to break away and be adults and take care of their own responsibilities, but the trend the last 20 years has drifted away from that concept. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Handy tip to grandparents: When children are happily established, and settled into their home with their children - downsize home, and move well away. That way, "could you watch Tommy for a couple of hours/days/weeks/months while we do our thing?" is a non-event. Works like a charm. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
tippydog90 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Aw Irc333, as a soon to be 49 year old single mom of a toddler, seeing your post about staying away from single moms with young children wasn't what I needed to hear right now!! Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Aw Irc333, as a soon to be 49 year old single mom of a toddler, seeing your post about staying away from single moms with young children wasn't what I needed to hear right now!! it doesn't matter, the right man for you will be someone who will he generous enough to share himself with others in your life, including children. He won't mind you watching your grandchildren either instead of being up his ass 24/7. That's the type of man you want anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tippydog90 Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Thanks! This divorce is hurting bad enough... The thought of never finding anyone to date (obviously not ready for that now...) because I am an "old" single mom of a very young child was just about more than I could stand. Heck with them if they don't like it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PinkInTheLimo Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 I know that there are women out there who don't want to date men with young children. Personally I wouldn't care. If I get along well with a guy and he happens to have children, young ones or older ones, it would be OK for me. I get that younger children require a different kind of attention. But never having had children myself I think I would actually like that. It would of course depend on the way my partner deals with his children and if he accepts that him and me become a team when dealing with them. If they are spoilt brats who won't take "no" for an answer and he and the kids team up against me, that will not work. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBladeRunner Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Thanks! This divorce is hurting bad enough... The thought of never finding anyone to date (obviously not ready for that now...) because I am an "old" single mom of a very young child was just about more than I could stand. Heck with them if they don't like it! I run into that a lot, I am in my late 40's and have a six year old. All too often the child scares them away and all I hear is "I've raised mine" (rude tone) and I am OK with that. You're right: If they don't like it the heck with them. Link to post Share on other sites
tippydog90 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Ah Bladerunner it is the attitude you describe in your post above that makes me think I will likely spend the rest of my life alone! I doubt there are many men out there even close to my age that would be that open to a relationship with a woman my age with a toddler. But I just have to come to terms with that and be OK with it. And I pretty much am. I wasn't counting on a marriage falling apart at this point in my life, with this young a child, but I am better off now than I was during my marriage. So, I will build the best life I can for the two of us and accept each day as it comes. Link to post Share on other sites
WesternWizard Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 In lieu of the recent "Dating over 40" thread...this is something I've noticed...there's a 50/50 percent of single parents that are just over 40, and have "over 18" kids, and then the ones, the same age range, that have very young ones. Usually I tend to stay away from single moms with really young kids, but find it kind of surprising to find a parent that's 40 years old and has kids already over the age of 18. I take it some have started families at a younger age, while some started at an older? I've recently had a man in his 50's tell me he doesn't date single moms...regardless of the kids age...the kids could be in their 30's and he think kids can still be a problem as adults. *shrug* I was like "Dude...you're 50 something without kids...and you won't date single moms? Good luck with that." So your take? Doesn't matter if you're male or female, parenthood messes with your brain cells and turns you into a paranoid killjoy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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