YummyMummy Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Ive been single now for 17 mths. My last relationship was on and off for 5 yrs during which i had 2 kids now 2 and 5! I do feel ready do meet someone and i do meet alot of people, but when i meet em n realise theres no spark i dont wanna see em again. Am i giving up on em too easily. Does the spark appear over time? Its just that when i met my ex theres was a huge attraction, which i know was lust at first but grew into love! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by YummyMummy Am i giving up on em too easily. Does the spark appear over time? Its just that when i met my ex theres was a huge attraction, which i know was lust at first but grew into love! usually if 2 people are genuinely attracted to one another the "spark" is instantaneous or develops quickly and is unmistakable. I need this as do most others but i find i may meet 2 or 3 women per year where there is mutual strong chemistry. Link to post Share on other sites
fundamental Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by YummyMummy Ive been single now for 17 mths. My last relationship was on and off for 5 yrs during which i had 2 kids now 2 and 5! I do feel ready do meet someone and i do meet alot of people, but when i meet em n realise theres no spark i dont wanna see em again. Am i giving up on em too easily. Does the spark appear over time? Its just that when i met my ex theres was a huge attraction, which i know was lust at first but grew into love! It could be a combination of giving up to easy and a lack of spark. You might be stopping yourself from developing a spark because you are not truly ready for anything. However, a spark is what gets things going and if there isn't one, nothing is going to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 I agree with alpha, on the stats too. I've dated a number of different women in the last year, and of those, there was a handful with whom there was an immediate mutual physical spark. Those are a lot of fun. I don't think it has to be immediate, i.e. the first thing that crosses your mind upon meeting is "I wanna rip your clothes off and...". Realistically, one date is barely enough time to develop something like that. But, the spark should develop quickly -- if you don't want to kiss them by the end of the second date, forget it. Link to post Share on other sites
Linlin Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 There usually is a spark or not. I think you know within the first hour. However, let me drink a bottle of Wolfblass and I could probably find a spark. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 However, let me drink a bottle of Wolfblass and I could probably find a spark. Amen to that, Linlin -- good hooch, that. Got a second date tonight... gotta ratchet up the blood alcohol level. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Yummy Mummy, I agree with you 100%. I went out on a "luch date" with a man 2 weeks ago and he has been e-mailing me every-day since. I felt NO spark for this guy what-so-ever. When I met him I thought.....maybe.......who knows.......right? He asked me out and I accepted. Now I don't know what to say to him to ask him to leave me alone now. In all of my replies I have not lead him to beleive that there would be a second date I have told him that I have been very busy at work (hint, hint, nudge, nudge.....I'll call you......) bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
Linlin Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 I am going to have a glass or two myself. Maybe I'll "see" something interesting tonight. Bubbles- Tell him you want to get married tomorrow and have all 6 of his babies and name them all after him. Maybe that will scare him off. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by Bubbles I agree with you 100%. I went out on a "luch date" with a man 2 weeks ago and he has been e-mailing me every-day since. I felt NO spark for this guy what-so-ever. So why was that BUBBLES? Was he ugly, fat? Or was he a boring "nice guy"? did he not bring out any emotions in you? Did he have funny or wierd mannerisim? Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Baaaaaa Haaaaaaaa Haaaaaaaaaa! Ya Right! Anyone who knows me? KNOWS THIS........I will NEVER get married again.......I will NEVER live with another man.............I will NEVER have any more children - I've had my tubes tied since I was 27 (my kids were 4 & 2 already). So I'm pretty much laying it down. If you would like to date me.....fine......DO NOT try and move in on me! bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
Linlin Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 I hear you on the marriage and kids thing sister. I am done too! AMEN to that! Link to post Share on other sites
Author YummyMummy Posted March 4, 2005 Author Share Posted March 4, 2005 Thanks for ya advice peeps! Dont feel as bad now lol! Bubbles, i know what ya mean hun. No serious relationship for me, but the company is nice until they start to get possessive N soz nice guys, but as someone else said most of ya are boring. I think i want a nice guy but when i meet one they are so boring i wanna scream!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 alphamale, Yes, Unfortunatly he is a boring nice guy. The only thing he does for excitement is play golf in the summer. Woooo Hooooo! I am MUCH more active than that......I have two teenage kids! I enjoy swimming, roller skating, roller blading, skate boarding, skiing, skating, hiking etc..... I do a lot of activities with my kids. The whold lunch I was the one that had to iniate the conversation - and he was the one who asked me out! Geeez you'd think maybe he would try to think of a few things to talk about! bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by Bubbles alphamale, Yes, Unfortunatly he is a boring nice guy. Yes that is too bad BUBBLES. The boring "nice guy" routine is the kiss of death for many guys. Thank god I'm not like that. Well, chin up and cheerio. THe right dude will come along soon enuf BUBBLES. Link to post Share on other sites
Bronzepen Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by Bubbles alphamale, Yes, Unfortunatly he is a boring nice guy. The only thing he does for excitement is play golf in the summer. Woooo Hooooo! I am MUCH more active than that......I have two teenage kids! I enjoy swimming, roller skating, roller blading, skate boarding, skiing, skating, hiking etc..... I do a lot of activities with my kids. The whold lunch I was the one that had to iniate the conversation - and he was the one who asked me out! Geeez you'd think maybe he would try to think of a few things to talk about! bubbles Wussy is the term I like to use. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Again...unfortunatly alpha. I have my doubts. Let me expalin. I am almost 40 years old & I have two teen-age children. What man in his right mind would take that on? My second problem is this; I am petite so many, many young men think that I am my daughters sister rather than her Mother. So it's one of two senarios, either I am having to tell some young man that although I am flattered at his interest......I am old enough to be his Mother or senario number 2 where the men my age are so out of shape, balding with beer guts that there is no way in hell I would even think of dating this man! I'm just happy being on my own. I know I have plenty of opportunities - they present themselves on a daily basis ;but I think I'm just happy with my own company for now. Everyone keeps telling me that some day I will meet the right guy that will change my mind but......... bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by Bubbles Again...unfortunatly alpha. I have my doubts. Let me expalin. I am almost 40 years old & I have two teen-age children. What man in his right mind would take that on? I turn 40 in 16 days BUBBLES and I have dated many women with kids. Of course, the kids' mom has to be cute and in decent shape but I don't automatically discount a woman cause she has kids and neither do many other men. I don't have kids myself and don't really want any. I know many men that date women with kids but then again she has to take good care of herself also. And you can go out with men who are 5 to 7 yrs younger than yourself of 5 to 7 yrs older than yourself. So the men you can date are from say, 47, to 33. That is a wide range of ages to choose from. You will be ok, the rite dude has just not come along yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Although I have been tempted many times.....I can't date a man younger than I am. My friends tell the "to hell with the standards!" date the guy! I don't know......maybe that would be a good thread starter What do you think? "If you were a 40 year old woman, would you date a younger man?" bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 So it's one of two senarios, either I am having to tell some young man that although I am flattered at his interest......I am old enough to be his Mother or senario number 2 where the men my age are so out of shape, balding with beer guts that there is no way in hell I would even think of dating this man! You're not alone, I have this same problem. I've been out on dates with younger men but there doesn't seem to be anything in common. Sometimes when they're persistent, I try to scare them off by telling them my age, amount of kids, number of divorces, etc. But I am much more attracted to younger men. Men my age do NOT take care of themselves. I even belong to a gym, and it seems that there are either younger guys or men closer to 50 working out. I've decided not to worry about it anymore. If I meet someone, I meet him. Another thread was talking about the "spark" which I definitely must have, but it's hard to find. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by Bubbles Although I have been tempted many times.....I can't date a man younger than I am. My friends tell the "to hell with the standards!" date the guy! it is very common today. actually the majority of women I have dated in past 7 or 8 years have been older than me, with max age diff being 9 years. Your friends are right, listen to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 OMG......Lonestar! It's really great to finally meet a woman in her 40's with the same problem usually I get snorted at when I verbalise how I feel. bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 I don't automatically discount a woman cause she has kids and neither do many other men. Same here. In fact, what many men don't realize is that MILFs are a potential goldmine. Far fewer hangups, and if they're over 30, there's a lot less wasted time -- they know what they want, what their turnons are, and aren't afraid to say what they want. Don't like the fact that a woman has kids? Great. Then move out of the way. I'm 32, and the best sex I ever had was with a 34-year-old MILF (not my ex-wife). My dating range has been between 25 and 37 generally, though I did go on one date with a 46-year-old who approached me. As long as the collars and cuffs match, who cares about arbitrary age differences? Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Thank you reservoirdog1.......I will take that as a compliment Yes, us older women are gold-mines.....I have no doubt about that. It's just that I feel like no guy wuold be willing to be an active part of mine and my children's lives right now, or any time soon. I am looked at for one reason and one reason only. SEX - that's it......you said it yourself. Although it is true that we know what we want........we would also like to be in love and loved in return......not just screwed! bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by reservoirdog1 I'm 32, and the best sex I ever had was with a 34-year-old MILF (not my ex-wife). the best sex i've had is with women in their 40's. also, single mothers tend to be more giving and less selfish and they tend to not hound a guy all the time cause they are so busy with their kids. you take a busy and stressed out single mother on a nice date for a nice relaxed dinner and convo and throw her a few compliments and she is like putty in your hand. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Thank you reservoirdog1.......I will take that as a compliment Exactly how I intended it. Yes, us older women are gold-mines.....I have no doubt about that. It's just that I feel like no guy wuold be willing to be an active part of mine and my children's lives right now, or any time soon. I am looked at for one reason and one reason only. SEX - that's it......you said it yourself. Although it is true that we know what we want........we would also like to be in love and loved in return......not just screwed! "Knowing what you want" doesn't just refer to sex. I've found that, with women over 30, there are far fewer of the bullsh*t games that people play in their 20s. By the time we reach 30, that stuff is hopefully in the past, and not a moment too soon. People in their 30s generally seem much less willing to stay in a situation that isn't working for them anymore, and have matured enough to actually say what they want. My TBXW was 22 when we married and she spent the marriage not having the first clue about how to say what she wanted or needed. Took the end of the marriage and the approach of her 30s to figure that out. (Not that I was necessarily any better in my 20s, but that only proves my point further.) Link to post Share on other sites
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