forever_young Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Ok trying this again.... 3 weeks ago my BF of a year and 7 months broke up with me... I was upset but seem to be recovering far better than I have in the past from break ups. In the last week + I started to wonder if Im more upset that I don't have him anymore or that I just don't have anyone. Did I love him or just like the idea of loving someone. The last at least 7 months of our relationship we fought all the time. I was depressed. He was being smothered and along with his and my other issues some how along the way something changed. He saw the lack of "us" a long time ago but also liked the idea of being with someone. We get along great on a friends level (lots to talk about and enjoy being with one another) but we weren't working out in a relationship. My problem is being his friend now.. when I saw him today the only real feeling I had was sexual attraction. But I need to figure out if Im making myself think that I can be his friend already and not having other feelings or not. Is it possible to be friends with someone after that length of a relationship so soon. Or am I just kidding myself. I know that I couldn't' see him with some one else... and quite frankly don't know if Ill ever be able to. Does this mean that I do have more feelings for him than I think or Im just possessive. He is dealing with the whole situation better than I am. It was his choice and He is enjoying the freedom, the not having to worry about anyone or making plans or anything. He thinks we "broke up" a long time ago but neither one of us let go. I have been a worlwind of emotions as usual. I accept we are not together and am just trying to work on getting the me back that I lost to my own faults. I have plans to hang out with him and other friends next Friday. He knows that I don't know how im going to feel about it.. If ill be able to... etc. If plans change he is going to call me if not its all a matter of if I show up or not. If not we will then make plans to get our stuff back from one another and let it all end. The part of the story that makes it fit into this category is if we can be friends we will probably be friends with benefits. We will both get what we think originally wanted from one another but did the relationship thing instead. Does anyone think this will work or am I being stupid? Any thoughts on relationships turning into friends would be appreciated to.. I know people who have done it. and think that if we can that it could be the best thing ever. FY Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Because you have such a long history together, it will be very hard on the both of you to be FWB with each other. Emotions should not be part of the deal, as either one of you would want some sort of relationship, and the other does not. With 7 years history it is hard to do that. Also starting FWB, because you can't handle the thought that your ex could find another person to share his life with, is not a good idea. You will be making demands on him, which the 'commitment' of FWB does not allow for. So friends might be possibly, but I would be highly sceptical that a relationship turned into a FWB, would not result in the loss of your friendship eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Excuse me for the misreading of the length of history. But the general comments remain valid as they are. Link to post Share on other sites
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