What does she want from me? Is she changing her mind?

[KarmaPandaBear]

I'll try my best to keep this short, and any feedback would really help.

 

I've been talking to this girl for about 4+ years, and really started to fall for her since Junior year ( Currently a Senior ) We've held hands, I laid on her shoulders we go out together all the time just us 2, and I spend lots of time with her family, and her parents really like me. We would go out together not as "dates" but more as hanging out. She would occasionally sometimes hug me, and get really close to me and I would love it so much when she does that, and sometimes i would want to hold her hands in her house, and hug her and stuff, but every time her parents would walk to the living room she would back away... ( everything happened during summer of my junior year ) we would have countless arguments because when she texts another guy I would get jealous, and just completely ignore her till rather I miss her again i would apologize or she would come talk to be first, and things would be back to normal again... I told her before that once school starts again i have a feeling that we wouldn't talk anymore, and holding hands stuff would all stop, and it did... This guy name Sam came to her life, and I know she likes him, but we would still do our thing till i confessed to her that I like her allot, and I would do anything for her, that give me a chance to fight. I would always say is it the fact that i'm not good enough, and she brought up she isn't good enough for me.... It ended up being she told me she doesn't have feelings for me, and that same night the last night i held her hands, and laid on her i told her i would be an "second option" once she's done with Sam i'd still be here for her... ( Stupidest thing ever said in my life ) the next day I wanted to at least fight for her so i bought her a rose, and the same day she ended up throwing it away ( suppose she kept it, but i didn't see it... ) i ended up being really sad, and i wrote her a letter saying how I can't deal with it anymore, and just ended up as a goodbye. 1 month later she texted me saying she wanted to talk, but i turned her down I told her that i'll talk to her later but never have the attention to text back, and as a week pass by I was injured at football practice she asked me how i was doing, and i told her i was okay, and how we shouldn't talk just spend her caring to Sam instead of me she said she couldn't just stop caring about me and how i'm a good friend to her... i told her it's a waste of time that shes caring and she told me it isn't she also mentioned how i made an big impact in her life as well. Later on in the text i told her just talk to me when she's done with Sam, and she said " Honestly do you think it would make a difference if i talk to you now or when i'm done talking to Sam? Things are still going to be the same. Or maybe they'll be worse by then" I told her i don't know, and i told her i wish things were back to normal where we would hold each others hands, and stuff she told me that holding her hand and laying on her is not okay anymore, and i can't accept it because she knew i always liked her the matter of fact is Sam is here, and i can't do what we would use to do anymore... i left her with 3 options Rather back to normal until she gets with Sam, and i'll let them be till she breaks up with him, or not talk at all till she's done with him and to let me know if she chooses the second option, or just not talk at all and not willing to give me a chance.

( I know this is really sloppy, but it's way too long for everything if you have questions or comments i'll try to fill in more, but what can I do now? she hasn't replied yet, and it's been almost a whole day i didn't go to school today because of the football injury... Please help me. )

Edited September 10, 2014 by KarmaPandaBear

[spawn]

After reading your post I've come to realize she doesn't like you in the romantic sense. I was able to come to that conclusion because she has told you she doesn't more than once.

 

Move on. There is no point in continuing to speak to her. We both know she's not going to change her mind.

[preraph]

I'm afraid she has decided she's no longer interested in you romantically. I think you were the boy she "experimented" with holding hands and cuddling with. I believe she recontacted you because she does feel guilty for hurting you and she's trying to make you feel better and feel like although she's not interested in you, she values you as a person and doesn't want you to view your friendship as a total loss. But I think your best instinct here, among, the battling emotions, is to leave her behind and go "no contact" so you can move on. I believe as long as you allow her around, you will continue to hope. I think if you move on without her, you will find another girl soon who will be better suited to you.

 

So take a few days to process the change, but then hold your head high and put on a big fake smile and get back out in the world and show everyone you're a winner. Make plans with friends that won't grill you about her and go out with them and have fun. Even if you don't feel like it. Fake it and someone will come along to focus on. Good luck.

[KarmaPandaBear]

Thanks for the reply Spawn it really meant allot, and I don't think there's much I can do since i got to a very small school I know she won't change her mind now, but hopefully later on in life?

[KarmaPandaBear]

I'm afraid she has decided she's no longer interested in you romantically. I think you were the boy she "experimented" with holding hands and cuddling with. I believe she recontacted you because she does feel guilty for hurting you and she's trying to make you feel better and feel like although she's not interested in you, she values you as a person and doesn't want you to view your friendship as a total loss. But I think your best instinct here, among, the battling emotions, is to leave her behind and go "no contact" so you can move on. I believe as long as you allow her around, you will continue to hope. I think if you move on without her, you will find another girl soon who will be better suited to you.

 

So take a few days to process the change, but then hold your head high and put on a big fake smile and get back out in the world and show everyone you're a winner. Make plans with friends that won't grill you about her and go out with them and have fun. Even if you don't feel like it. Fake it and someone will come along to focus on. Good luck.

Thanks for the replay preraph.

There's been a few changes since the post, and I would like to hear what you have to say.

*UPDATE*

9/14/14 We spend that day together going out, and watched a movie together we didn't hold each others hands, but she wanted to go out with me I thought her and Sam may have been in a argument she told me she just needed me in her life, and how she feels "incomplete" without me I told her my feelings for her haven't really changed however when the time we weren't talking I was trying to move on, but she kept trying to contact me so the same night i told her if she wanted me to drop my feelings it's the best to just not talk to me or we try our best to go back to "normal" like in the summers how we would hold hands, and try to be close again till she gets with him... Is that the right thing...?