Tallgirl91 Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 A couple of months ago I was changing my nephew's diaper on the bed and I went to go throw away his diaper.... literally the moment I turned away I heard my sister gasp and saw that he had rolled off the bed and onto the floor. I immediately felt like the lowest being on earth and couldn't stop crying. We took him to the doctor and he ended up being fine and he's now healthy. My sister almost immediately forgave me and it made me feel even more guilty because I felt like I didn't deserve her forgiveness. How do I stop feeling guilty about this? I took this event as a sign that I should never have children. Do I deserve my sister's forgiveness?
Lani Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 You're kidding, right? The child fell off the bed, as children do. And he's absolutely fine. This isn't about you, and it's selfish to make it so.
Author Tallgirl91 Posted September 12, 2014 Author Posted September 12, 2014 You're kidding, right? The child fell off the bed, as children do. And he's absolutely fine. This isn't about you, and it's selfish to make it so. he was only four months old.. it was my fault
whichwayisup Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 A couple of months ago I was changing my nephew's diaper on the bed and I went to go throw away his diaper.... literally the moment I turned away I heard my sister gasp and saw that he had rolled off the bed and onto the floor. I immediately felt like the lowest being on earth and couldn't stop crying. We took him to the doctor and he ended up being fine and he's now healthy. My sister almost immediately forgave me and it made me feel even more guilty because I felt like I didn't deserve her forgiveness. How do I stop feeling guilty about this? I took this event as a sign that I should never have children. Do I deserve my sister's forgiveness? Lighten up on yourself. That can happen to anybody! Ask anyone who has kids, how quickly an accident can happen...It's not your fault. Your sister forgave you so now it's time to stop feeling guilty and making yourself feel worse. Your nephew is fine. Why are you so hard on yourself?
whichwayisup Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 he was only four months old.. it was my fault Why was it your fault? Because it happened on your watch? At four months, he's moving around more so chances are, he's gonna fall off the bed again. He'll stumble off the couch, hit his head, fall down the stairs, he'll fall while learning to stand, fall while learning to walk. Beating up on yourself isn't good. Just hope this is a vent here and you're not still talking about this to your sister. She has forgiven you, so forgive yourself and put it out of your head. It's been 2 months and since you're having a tough time letting go of what happened, think about some counseling to help you cope and learn about yourself. It's not right to go on and on and on 2 months after the incident, especially since all is fine with your nephew. 1
Lani Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 he was only four months old.. it was my fault Then be more watchful in the future. There's no need to beat yourself up about this.
lollipopspot Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 I think if you don't learn to control your emotions better than this, that would be a sign that you shouldn't have children. 1
Shepp Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Between me and the wife we've dropped both our sons - obviously didn't mean too, but these things happen. Obviously you try to avoid it but don't blow it out of proportion! Our boys do a great job of falling over all by themselves now their trying to learn to walk - one of ours he's mastered standing up, and pushing off the floor like a runner coming out the blocks but nothing else, so he literally just pulls himself up and then does a massive like forward dive into the floor you never have any warning he's going to do it either to put something soft there...he just keeps doing it though so it clearly doesn't faze him. When I was a baby my aunt accidently sacked my head on a door frame and I turned out fine ...maybe Deal with the problems in front of you, don't invent more in your head - kids hurt themselves, and kids catch you by surprise when they suddenly start rolling/crawling/running - if it hadn't been you that turned away it I would of been your sister, or someone else. 1
KaliLove Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Your sister was in the room with you..so technically he wasn't only under your watch, he was under hers too. So..nothing to feel guilty about. Babies are durable. You and your sister did the right thing by taking him to the doctor and he's fine now. No harm done. You are not the first person to drop a baby and you certainly won't be the last. When I was 2, my moms best friend was watching me. I fell off the couch and broke my collar bone. They were still best friends after that and I'm fine now. 1
Author Tallgirl91 Posted September 13, 2014 Author Posted September 13, 2014 I think if you don't learn to control your emotions better than this, that would be a sign that you shouldn't have children. you're right
bentleychic Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 We learn from mistakes. That's what life is all about. When we know better, we do better. (Rough quote from Maya Angelou.) For the record, my kid's dad let several of them fall off the bed on his watch. The first one...twice. lol We still went on to have more kids and they're all (mostly! lol) okay. Their issues have nothing to do with falling off the bad. They're just crazy. haha Don't be so hard on yourself. As my dad likes to say "They are called accidents for a reason."
Hope Shimmers Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 I think if you don't learn to control your emotions better than this, that would be a sign that you shouldn't have children. OP, this is horrible advice. You are concerned and rightfully so, but you need to lighten up on yourself as others have said. It would be much more worrisome if you were NOT concerned.
Georgia2014 Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 A couple of months ago I was changing my nephew's diaper on the bed and I went to go throw away his diaper.... literally the moment I turned away I heard my sister gasp and saw that he had rolled off the bed and onto the floor. I immediately felt like the lowest being on earth and couldn't stop crying. We took him to the doctor and he ended up being fine and he's now healthy. My sister almost immediately forgave me and it made me feel even more guilty because I felt like I didn't deserve her forgiveness. How do I stop feeling guilty about this? I took this event as a sign that I should never have children. Do I deserve my sister's forgiveness? It wasn't under your watch your sister saw him & could have grabbed her baby since she saw him falling. Why beat yourself up over it?
somedude81 Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 My sister almost immediately forgave me and it made me feel even more guilty because I felt like I didn't deserve her forgiveness. Odds are she immediately forgave you because he's probably fallen of the bed or couch when she was supposed to be watching him. Babies fall. Unless you completely strap them down it's going to happen. Don't beat yourself up over it.
Tayla Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 It sounds like you have a kind soul to care and be mindfull. Its best to learn from this (and sometimes thats all you can do!). When forgiveness is offered, take it and forgive yourself. Doubt it was deliberate, so be a little kinder to yourself. Now go give that nephew a gentle hug and give yourself one too!
IfWishesWereHorses Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 OMG! Ask any parent whether their child has rolled off a bed, dove off a table, got fingers shut in a door, you'll hear lots of stories! Get over it and don't dare let this affect your relationship with your nephew. My son dove head first from the table while the pediatrician and I were right there. We bumped heads trying unsuccessfully to catch him. She freaked out! She's probably close to sixty and swore that had never happened. You just never know! Live and learn.
reardon Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 It was an accident and it wasn't your fault. Your sister forgave you because she know that it was mere accident. So, it is time to forgive yourself and make that experience as learning lesson the next time. Your sister ask to take care of her son.
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