R3d Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Let's say you go on some dates with a man and you find out that he is a virgin waiting until marriage and by that he means the limit is making out and stripping down to bikinis and panties (so nothing further than this is permitted). No direct touching of genitalia (and breasts for men) or making the other cum either. He's not religious, or very mildly so. He's doing this because he likes the idea of two virgins learning how to sexually please just each other (so he wants his first time to also be another person's first time) and it ensures that they are both in love first. Basically he values sex to a high degree and wants to reserve it for only the woman that he is completely committed to and vice versa, as it is the most intimate act two humans can take part in. Also, statistics are suggesting that having premarital sex, especially as a teenager, is linked to higher divorce rate. Would you date such a man? Would his dating pool be significantly reduced if he decided to take this route? I am not officially taking a stance on this, but I am flirting with the idea and entertaining making this choice, so I want to see what you people think. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 No, I wouldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author R3d Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 This is interesting because I asked this on another site before, I got girls saying, "YESSS!!!!" Though they were between 18 and 24. Maybe age plays a factor in this. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Age plays a HUGE factor into this! You are a boy, not a man. Any girl would be lucky to have you. As a middle aged woman, I have no interest in playing teacher. Back when I was under 25, it would have been a non issue but I would need to know he was a good kisser & a decent dancer. Being stuck with bad sex forever is not fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author R3d Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 You are a boy, not a man. Define "man" in this context. (Not trying to be snarky. I understand what you mean. Just looking for clarification.) Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 You are still in high school and under 20. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 If you are still a teenager in high school, then this is actually quite a wise choice IMO. Later, after you're 18 and go to college, you can reevaluate to see if you still feel the same way. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 He's doing this because he likes the idea of two virgins learning how to sexually please just each other (so he wants his first time to also be another person's first time) and it ensures that they are both in love first. A few questions for you to think about: At what age do you expect to get married? Do you only want to marry a girl who is a virgin? Do you believe you will be able to meet a girl who is of marriageable age and still a virgin? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Age plays a HUGE factor into this! You are a boy, not a man. Any girl would be lucky to have you. As a middle aged woman, I have no interest in playing teacher. Back when I was under 25, it would have been a non issue but I would need to know he was a good kisser & a decent dancer. Being stuck with bad sex forever is not fun. I can see the point that some of the women on this thread are making, but thats a risky game..... Lets assume for the sake of this discussion that this particular guy "checks off all the boxes" in terms of compatibility and such....Just because the guy doesnt have any experience, doesn't automatically make him incompatible...he could be a wolf ready to break out of a cage..You never really know.. That kind of thinking is similar to a guy dumping a woman because her mother is fat...Like hey, "someday she is going to be just as bad"... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I would date a man who was waiting.i am a middle aged woman.........but then a guy who valued his virginity and believed in keeping his virginity until marriage and expected the girl to have kept hers or had a low sex count......would be unlikely to want to date me...which i understand.....i don't need to be judged on my history....i do that myself...it is why i find it hard to accept dates at the moment......because i have decided to be celibate until marriage...guys assume ....i am not celibate...and when i tell them they proceed to try and change my mind.....its awkward.....and i understand why guys think i shouldn't be celibate.....i have to find a guy who understands i am .....and respects that regardless of my history.....and it doesnt help i dont feel good enough to date a guy who is celibate or a virgin.....too much experience for aguy to feel comfortable............deb Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Not even if you paid me. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I might be ok with it if it was like saving it until the first anniversary of the relationship; but entering uncharted waters for life? No, even if we were compatible chances are at some point he'd want to try out other women and it's just not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Absolutely not. I would not enter a legally binding partnership without knowing whether we were sexually compatible or not. I wouldn't even be willing to wait six months of dating in case it was all wasted because we weren't right in bed. Plus I sincerely doubt he'd want a woman like me who's been around the block with 15-20 guys. Never had any complaints from a romantic or sexual partner about my experience, either. The more experienced have always been the best in bed for me and I assume vice versa. Link to post Share on other sites
dragon_fly_7 Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 If he was only waiting for the right time, then I wouldn't have problems with it. The ''until marriage'' part is what I would not wait for, esp if he's not doing it out of religious purposes. I would think he has other reasons beyond just waiting for his special moment and that he might develop a sexual hang-up. I just don't see how I'm going to be enjoying a sexless relationship for a couple years (assuming most couples get married within the 2nd-3rd year mark) and make it all the way towards our wedding night without knowing what turns him on and if we're compatible in bed. Otherwise, I would be ok dating a virgin man that simply wanted to save it for a meaningful relationship. Until marriage, no thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 As already said, I think age plays a HUGE part in this. For ME, at my age now (45) my answer would be "HELL NO!" since I'm far too sexual of a woman to be waiting for sex especially with a virgin. Which is a good thing because this seems futile since I can't imagine there are any men my age who are still "saving" themselves for anything never mind marriage If you're young, it would seem to be more appropriate I suppose and perhaps admirable to some degree. Having said that, I am one of those people who believes that sexual compatibility is VERY important for a long, happy and fulfilling relationship, marriage or not. And the only way to find that out is to consummate a relationship before putting a ring on it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author R3d Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 You will have a better chance finding the holy grail than a woman who is saving herself for marriage.Stop living in la la land kid. 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex. Out of these 3%, 60% are women. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex. Out of these 3%, 60% are women. Did they actually test these women for intact hymens?... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Author R3d Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 At what age do you expect to get married? Mid to late twenties? That's when my parents expect me to get married anyway. Do you only want to marry a girl who is a virgin? If I were to make the decision to wait until marriage, then yes, because I like the idea of us both starting from no sexual experience and working together to learn how to please each other. Do you believe you will be able to meet a girl who is of marriageable age and still a virgin? I don't know. That's what I am asking here. Will I? Also, statistics show that premarital sex is linked with higher divorce rate. At first, I thought, "Yeah right...I ain't waiting that long," but now after looking at all the benefits, I am beginning to flirt with the idea. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Sex is a learned skill. After 25, you're at a serious disadvantage sexually unless you also find another virgin. If you are very attractive and/or successful, it may be a little less of an issue if you're older than 25, otherwise you accumulate disadvantages which become red flags. The older you get, the fewer female virgins there will be in your dating pool, and at a certain point, the younger virgins will find you too old. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Mid to late twenties? That's when my parents expect me to get married anyway. If I were to make the decision to wait until marriage, then yes, because I like the idea of us both starting from no sexual experience and working together to learn how to please each other. I don't know. That's what I am asking here. Will I? Also, statistics show that premarital sex is linked with higher divorce rate. At first, I thought, "Yeah right...I ain't waiting that long," but now after looking at all the benefits, I am beginning to flirt with the idea. Simply put, if you want to marry in your mid to late 20's and want to marry a virgin girl of the same age, it's just not going to happen. The odds of finding a woman who is a virgin in her 20's is extremely low. I completely understand wanting to start with both as virgins, but the older you get the less likely women are to be virgins. Link to post Share on other sites
Xiang Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Sex is a learned skill. After 25, you're at a serious disadvantage sexually unless you also find another virgin. If you are very attractive and/or successful, it may be a little less of an issue if you're older than 25, otherwise you accumulate disadvantages which become red flags. The older you get, the fewer female virgins there will be in your dating pool, and at a certain point, the younger virgins will find you too old. Two people in this thread allready shot me in the kneee with their replies, damn we got it tough, virgins. xD Ehm yeah, NO. Likelyhood of women to wait for you until marriage is low, noone is that insane, unless they are a virgin themselves, maybe then....not many around however. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Depending on the guy and his age, I might wonder whether he really wanted to save himself, or he had some other issue where he was unable to get laid. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author R3d Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 If I was to take this route, what would be my best bet? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 If I was to take this route, what would be my best bet? If you want to marry a virgin girl, you're going to have to marry young. Here's the thing dude. Once you get your first girlfriend and start making out with her, it's going to be really difficult to wait years to have sex. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 If I was to take this route, what would be my best bet? Best bet for what? Announcing your intentions? Dating? Link to post Share on other sites
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