Sugarkane Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 It's depressing not to have friends from my past come. How can you have a hen night with no friends? At school I was bullied,backstabbed and ostracized. Not one of the girls bothered to find out my side of things. My old workplace I was ostracized from a clique, who only looked out for themselves. Friends have dumped me since having a child. And I tried keeping in contact with people I knew from a friend of mine, but they dumped and ignored me for no reason. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 i am sorry you dont have many friends to invite to a hens night........but congrats on your upcoming nuptials and finding someone who loves you and whom you love back ......i haven't actually ever been to a hens night....i am 45..i have been to engagement parties.....i think hens nights are over rated......as i do think stag nights are overrated and an excuse to behave badly for one night...disgustingly actually...i have been to stag nights......i am female so obviously stag nights were not so enjoyable......i was working them....theres a double standard i believe......with guys who throw wild stag nights....and a complete disrespect shown towards their intended the ones that hire stripper hookers anyway...... rejoice in the fact you are marrying the love of your life.....dont worry about the hens night...spend a night with family and those close to you ...have a hens night with the rooster....maKE IT MAGICAL.......another poster called anela..... said on here how she wanted to have a midnight picnic with twinkling lights all around......to me that sounds like a perfect hens night......with your rooster..or with one or two close girlfriends.i woudl if ti were me choose my rooster...looking at the stars and sending all of your hopes sky high.....midnight stars and the possibilities of many more midnight picnics to come..you dont have to follow the path set by the world before your wedding it is simply in my mind an outdated tradition....that holds little merit........trek your own way ...into a new and exciting beginning full of love promise and hope.....best wishes for a happy and wonderful marriage.......deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 What exactly is a hens night? I thought SK is no longer with her SO? Link to post Share on other sites
NGC1300 Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 I'm never getting married, but did have similar thoughts about a hypothetical wedding, since I have no real friends. Can you imagine how awkward it would be at a wedding and the ONLY people there associated with you are your parents. Good thing I'm never getting married. Link to post Share on other sites
MuscleCarFan Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 What exactly is a hens night? I thought SK is no longer with her SO? Hens night = girls night out. Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 I'll make this short... It is not about what you have in life, it is what you do with it. There are other ways of having hen night. You can have it with strangers or acquaintances or just a friend. Just find a spot that has a ladies night and doll yourself up so you are seen as a bride to be. Most women enjoy being part of a party, especially special moments such as that. I am too shy to be a mixer in a crowed, but my imagination does not keep me from holding back. you would not believe all the parties I've had and failed at allowing them to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyLady13 Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 Hi Sugarkane! I see friends are on the forefront of your mind still since I saw you post something about an old friend a few weeks ago or so. Sounds like you're determined to change your situation to one that suits you better. Glad to see it! I'd like to address what you said. Even though it was short and not too wordy, I feel what you did say was so overloaded with past history and an explanation as to why you're in the boat you're in at the moment. There were some things that stood out to me from what you said. At school I was bullied,backstabbed and ostracized. Not one of the girls bothered to find out my side of things. The girls aren't supposed to find out your side of things. They have lives to live just like you have a life to live. This is honestly just something to move on from the best you can, find other people you have a lot in common with and spend your time with them not looking at the past in the rear view mirror but forward to a better future. My old workplace I was ostracized from a clique, who only looked out for themselves. I'm not trying to say humanity is a doomed species who are only going to look out for themselves but it isn't their job to look out for you, Sugarkane. That's your job to do. If you're fortunate enough to find people who aren't looking out for just themselves, that's all nice and good but don't ever expect it. It's rare. You have to look out for you. You're the only one who really is assigned that job. Friends have dumped me since having a child. And I tried keeping in contact with people I knew from a friend of mine, but they dumped and ignored me for no reason. These people may have blown you off because you just didn't have a lot in common with them. I'm not sure what type of area you live in but is it a populated area or more rural? It does make a huge difference in approach. For instance, I live in a nearly urban area and can sit on my front porch and people just pour by and talk to me when I'm not paying attention to anything other than relaxing, being half asleep out there and yawning. People constantly speak up, approach me, talk to me, joke with me and make small talk. I can pick any day of the week and just hang out for a while and meet people without leaving the house. How easy is that, right? But years ago I lived in a rural area for a few years. Different animal! I relied a lot on the internet at that time in all sorts of ways including forums (music forums) to find people I had music in common with and met tons of them in person but it did mean driving for a good hour just to be around them and it was more difficult to get the ball rolling compared to sitting on my porch but in the long run? The friendships were tighter and more meaningful because we knew so much about each other up front before we met but more importantly, we had something in common right off the bat. Rather than focusing too much on the past, look forward to your future. There are people who are childless and who have children who are social and love friends and when you finally find the right ones, you're golden Sugarkane! Just make sure you put a lot of effort into your friendships when you do dig up friendships worth working for. Link to post Share on other sites
DreamLost Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Sugarkane, this is all in your head. Me and my gf have plans to get married and like you I am also a person with very few friends. It is likely that most of the guests that will show up at my wedding are friends of my gf. But so what? I don't need a stag party, this is my special moment and so I do not care what other people think. For situations like these, the best you can do is to look at the good stuff, enjoy your magical moment, move on, and as you move into a new stage of your life, people (i.e. new friends) will start coming into your life. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PinkInTheLimo Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Hey you don't have to have a hens' night. It's stupid anyway. I also don't have a lot of friends and if I would be married there would not be a hens' night but frankly I would not care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 SK, I didn't have any bridal shower or bachelorette parties and it was just fine. I think all the hoopla with weddings is overrated. Why not just have a small ceremony with your sweetie and then spend more on a honeymoon? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts