NJ123 Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Well I'm in my late 20s & I suffer from depression/anxiety/pure o ocd & feel like no one would want to be with me with all my issues. A lot of girls actually do find me attractive so luckily I don't have to worry about that, but I feel I have too much baggage with my personal issues to be with anyone. The thoughts I get make me feel like such an awful person, and make me feel like I don't deserve anyone. I guess I'm just wondering if there's any hope for me to ever find someone despite my problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 There is always hope. People get married despite all sorts of ailments: blindness, deafness, one-leggedness, alcoholism, being Gilbert Gottfried. The list goes on and on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 There is always hope. People get married despite all sorts of ailments: blindness, deafness, one-leggedness, alcoholism, being Gilbert Gottfried. The list goes on and on. what is gilbert gotfried?..... op.....everyone is flawed no is perfect some of us have more issues than another.....doesnt make us any less deserving....all of my multiple personalities agree with this sentiment...you just have to find the person who loves you and your flaws...or multiples.....smilin...never give up...hope is always there.....hope is and can be eternal...you are meant find someone who has the same hopes as you do.....and they will be flawed too.....everyone is.........deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 what is gilbert gotfried?..... You just moved significantly up my list of favorite posters. OP, what steps have you taken to battle your depression and anxiety? I cannot speak to OCD (what is your compulsion?) but depression and anxiety can both be mitigated, if not outright managed, through a thorough treatment of talking, active thinking, and exercising. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 (edited) There is always hope. People get married despite all sorts of ailments: blindness, deafness, one-leggedness, alcoholism, being Gilbert Gottfried. The list goes on and on. lol'd at you mentioning Gottfried. But thanks for the reply. what is gilbert gotfried?..... op.....everyone is flawed no is perfect some of us have more issues than another.....doesnt make us any less deserving....all of my multiple personalities agree with this sentiment...you just have to find the person who loves you and your flaws...or multiples.....smilin...never give up...hope is always there.....hope is and can be eternal...you are meant find someone who has the same hopes as you do.....and they will be flawed too.....everyone is.........deb Thanks for the nice reply. Guess when it happens it happens. Edited September 13, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merge 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OwMyEyeball Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 There's plenty of hope for you to find someone. Don't forget that for every man out there who struggles with mental illness in one form or another, there's also at least one woman in the same boat who is probably asking the same question you are. I believe that so long as you are aware of your situation, striving to better yourself and feel willing to give love then you are capable of finding a special someone who you can understand, cherish and love; and they will reciprocate. I believe the biggest barrier for the mentally ill to find love is not the mental illness itself - and all of its manifestations - but the secrecy within which those who suffer it feel they need to shroud themselves, and thus keep hidden away a very special part of themselves that so many others could relate to them on. This can feel terribly isolating, and in darkly tragic and comedic sense, keep them from connecting with those with whom they can share their salvation. You're not damaged goods. You're human. And most of the people walking around this Earth have yet to encounter the events in their lives that will damage them, or have yet to realize that they themselves are already there. We all carry flaw. We all carry sin. Own your illness and the conflict it creates. Just fight your hardest to make sure that it doesn't own you. You are not your illness. You are so much more. You can find love. And be loved. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 (edited) You just moved significantly up my list of favorite posters. OP, what steps have you taken to battle your depression and anxiety? I cannot speak to OCD (what is your compulsion?) but depression and anxiety can both be mitigated, if not outright managed, through a thorough treatment of talking, active thinking, and exercising. I been seeing a psych but haven't taken meds yet due to a problem with my TMJ joint that's been causing me some physical symptoms like dizziness, headaches, brain fogginess. Been wearing a new night guard I just got from the dentist on Thursday to hopefully fix this problem. I'm too worried to take any drugs with having those symptoms I get with my jaw/tmj problem. I don't really have compulsions except for having to check a few times to make sure lights are shut off & minor things like that. But I get horrible intrusive repetitive thoughts in my mind which is called Pure O OCD which can cause really bad anxiety. They also get so bad that at times I even have to look the thoughts up online to seek reassurance that I'm not crazy which can cause me to feel even worse. You can look up Pure O OCD if you want, it's said a lot of people have it, just a lot don't know what's wrong with them. Edited September 13, 2014 by NJ123 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 You just moved significantly up my list of favorite posters. OP, what steps have you taken to battle your depression and anxiety? I cannot speak to OCD (what is your compulsion?) but depression and anxiety can both be mitigated, if not outright managed, through a thorough treatment of talking, active thinking, and exercising. i actually thought it might be in reference to a guy who has had electric shock treatment.....i googled it....and it seems he is a guy known for tasteless inappropriate jokes according to wikipedia..far from shock treatment.....there would be someone even for him, you are right scorpio..maybe a woman who would listen to his jokes and before he does them publicly..... tell him please dont say that ever......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Well I'm in my late 20s & I suffer from depression/anxiety/pure o ocd & feel like no one would want to be with me with all my issues. A lot of girls actually do find me attractive so luckily I don't have to worry about that, but I feel I have too much baggage with my personal issues to be with anyone. The thoughts I get make me feel like such an awful person, and make me feel like I don't deserve anyone. I guess I'm just wondering if there's any hope for me to ever find someone despite my problems. I would have no problem in dating you if we connected in other ways.. we all have issues. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lyndaaxo Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I'm a firm believer that there's someone out there for everyone. Every person you meet has issues in some way shape or form that control their life. I think you just have to meet someone who understands and who's issues don't exacerbate yours and vice versa. Personally, I've had many people accepting of my depression/insecurity, and many that think they can be but aren't. It'll take patience but you have to believe you deserve to find that person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 I would have no problem in dating you if we connected in other ways.. we all have issues. It's just I have a lot of them. And I don't know how long it's going to take me to fix these problems. Link to post Share on other sites
OwMyEyeball Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 It's just I have a lot of them. And I don't know how long it's going to take me to fix these problems. One of your issues is loneliness. You could work towards solving that while also learning to understand and alleviate your other ailments. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 One of your issues is loneliness. You could work towards solving that while also learning to understand and alleviate your other ailments. Yeah, I suppose your right. But it's just a vicious cycle for me though since I just feel like I'm in no condition at the moment to even be with anyone even though I wish I could. It's like how can I be with anyone if a lot of the time I can't function right or struggle to. I'm hoping I can get all my problems fixed really soon though. I don't want to wake up another 5-10 years from now in this awful predicament I'm in. Just basically want a second chance at living a life instead of always struggling & not feeling good. Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Yeah, I suppose your right. But it's just a vicious cycle for me though since I just feel like I'm in no condition at the moment to even be with anyone even though I wish I could. It's like how can I be with anyone if a lot of the time I can't function right or struggle to. I'm hoping I can get all my problems fixed really soon though. I don't want to wake up another 5-10 years from now in this awful predicament I'm in. Just basically want a second chance at living a life instead of always struggling & not feeling good. it's lifelong, sorry. other posters can claim it'll get better, or just work on yourself, etc., but that doesn't happen when you have severe anxiety/mental issues. in fact, it can sometimes worsen as you age. the best thing you can do for yourself is therapy and medications, or a combination of the two is best. in addition to having a large support group of family/friends you can go to just to talk, get advice, etc. my brother is schizophrenic and managed to have a relationship and a child too. the relationship is now gone, but he dates a lot and is a f/t dad. being a father really helped him stay mentally healthy since he has to help his son, and he is on meds and therapy. he meets people just like any "normal" guy, online, at social functions, church, etc. your issues might not ever go away, but you can take steps to at least handle them, and that (usually) means being really diligent with mental health care. you also have to be honest with your dates as soon as you can, and let them know what issues you have. it's not as dire as you may think - many women are ok with these types of things so long as they know you are handling them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 it's lifelong, sorry. other posters can claim it'll get better, or just work on yourself, etc., but that doesn't happen when you have severe anxiety/mental issues. in fact, it can sometimes worsen as you age. the best thing you can do for yourself is therapy and medications, or a combination of the two is best. in addition to having a large support group of family/friends you can go to just to talk, get advice, etc. my brother is schizophrenic and managed to have a relationship and a child too. the relationship is now gone, but he dates a lot and is a f/t dad. being a father really helped him stay mentally healthy since he has to help his son, and he is on meds and therapy. he meets people just like any "normal" guy, online, at social functions, church, etc. your issues might not ever go away, but you can take steps to at least handle them, and that (usually) means being really diligent with mental health care. you also have to be honest with your dates as soon as you can, and let them know what issues you have. it's not as dire as you may think - many women are ok with these types of things so long as they know you are handling them. Yeah, I've thought about that too that it's possible I'll always have some sort of problem. But I still hold out hope that I can be 100% healthy again or very close to it again one day. Basically I feel eventually I'll meet someone though, just I don't know when it'll happen. Link to post Share on other sites
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