Any ladies get frustrated when a guy has not asked them out?

[Darren2013]

Any ladies here ever liked a certain guy and had a strong attraction to him and you instinctively knew he felt the same way but hasn't asked you out did you ever get frustrated or even a little upset that he wouldn't move in and ask you out? If you have a story about that please share.

[Phoe]

A handful of times. I liked a few guys and thought they were interested back, but once I made a move it turned out they weren't interested.

 

After that embarrassment, I now would never continue having interest in a man who's intentions are unclear. If I have to question whether you actually are interested in me, I will move on.

[Darren2013]

A handful of times. I liked a few guys and thought they were interested back, but once I made a move it turned out they weren't interested.

 

After that embarrassment, I now would never continue having interest in a man who's intentions are unclear. If I have to question whether you actually are interested in me, I will move on.

 

Right but I am talking about a situation where the guy has made it obvious that he likes you and you like him alot too but because he is incredibly shy or whatever he takes a long time to ask you out and during that waiting period were you frustrated as to what he was waiting for and why he did not make a move?

 

Just wanted to get an idea of how common it is for women to get angry at men who don't ask them out when it is obvious the attraction is mutual on both ends?

 

It seems like when a woman really digs a guy she wants him to pursue and ask her out and when he doesn't do that when it is obvious he likes her too I can see the potential for her to get a little frustrated with him over it.

Edited September 13, 2014 by Darren2013

[Phoe]

well, given that my past experiences ended with the guy ending up not being interested, I'd begin to fear that that was the case again.

[Gloria25]

well, given that my past experiences ended with the guy ending up not being interested, I'd begin to fear that that was the case again.

 

Agreed ^^....

 

I can't say I've ever had an experience where the guy was into me but wouldn't make a move...In cases where a guy didn't make a move he either had low or no interest.

 

I've posted to death here about my recent crush, so I won't go into more details about that...All I can say about that is he's involved with someone else, so I guess that goes into the pile of "low or no interest".

 

What makes it frustrating about my recent crush is that there were times I could tell he was attracted and I thought he was trying to get near to me (i.e. looking at my home), but then when I tried to act on what "I" thought were signals of interest - he reminded me of his lack of interest. So, I guess cuz I liked him, I was reading too much into what he did/said as interest in me.

 

So all and all, I still believe that if a guy was really into you, he'd make a move...and, I don't think that his attraction being "obvious" equates "interest" - cuz again, he won't approach you. Besides, it isn't hard for people to become attracted to others...you can walk down the street and ogle hot chicks all day, but are you gonna leave your chick to chat her up?

Edited September 13, 2014 by Gloria25

[HeartDesires]

.....it was at work. The sparks between us were flying, yet he wasn't asking me out. I wasn't angry or frustrated, just curious. Found out he had a live-in g/f. Ah, so that explained it. Turns out he was just an outrageous flirt, and very good at it.....

[Gloria25]

Right but I am talking about a situation where the guy has made it obvious that he likes you and you like him alot too but because he is incredibly shy or whatever he takes a long time to ask you out and during that waiting period were you frustrated as to what he was waiting for and why he did not make a move?

 

Just wanted to get an idea of how common it is for women to get angry at men who don't ask them out when it is obvious the attraction is mutual on both ends?

 

It seems like when a woman really digs a guy she wants him to pursue and ask her out and when he doesn't do that when it is obvious he likes her too I can see the potential for her to get a little frustrated with him over it.

 

Well, in order not to get frustrated, now I have to watch myself to not tap into the "crazy", cuz not gonna embarrass myself trying to chat him up. I haven't seen him in passing lately, and am kinda glad cuz last time I tried chatting him up and I got a shirtless glimpse of him, I was a mess for a day or so. So, just keeping it cool in order not to drum up the "crazy" and me doing something embarrassing/stupid and wind up angry or frustrated...

[todreaminblue]

I havent really had this experience mostly guys ask me out....and when i felt instinctually there was a mutual interest i asked one guy out...i thought he was shy in that he wouldnt ask........i can normally tell....this time i was wrong he wasnt interested he said he liked another....it upset me more i read him wrong.......and continued to read him wrong.....and that in fact has not happened before......i am loathe to follow that direction again......i am not frustrated over it....i got over it a long time ago........as i did nothing wrong..it distrubs me more that i felt something for someone who didnt like me and wants not even a friendship with me...how wrong can you get.....that was me......i thought i might be losing my intuition which i really do depend on....i am not...it has proven to be still there with other guys.....and their intentions...so yeah i let it go.........deb.....

[you_can_not_see_me]

It can happen, a guy might not ask a girl out if he is really shy, or isn't around the girl much. If the girl continues to give strong consistent indications of interest and she spends enough time around a guy, then I think eventually he will ask her out, even if he's really shy. But a lot of the time the situation is less than ideal and the guy might know the girl is actually interested.

[you_can_not_see_me]

well, given that my past experiences ended with the guy ending up not being interested, I'd begin to fear that that was the case again.

and yet you expect men to take the same risk?

[Eternal Sunshine]

I just assume they aren't interested and move on. In some cases I am open to dating them if they ask me out at a later stage. In other cases I am not. In all cases it only decreases my interest level...

[you_can_not_see_me]

I just assume they aren't interested and move on. In some cases I am open to dating them if they ask me out at a later stage. In other cases I am not. In all cases it only decreases my interest level...

tell me about it, as a serial procrastinator when it comes to asking women out, I have dealt with more than my share of girls losing interest or finding someone else by the time I come around to asking them out.

 

funny thing is I can always detect a sharp dip in interest on the girls part right before I ask her out, in fact in most case what finally pushes me to asking her out is the panic of her losing interest, but its too late at that point.

 

This is on area I know I need to change.

[Darren2013]

tell me about it, as a serial procrastinator when it comes to asking women out, I have dealt with more than my share of girls losing interest or finding someone else by the time I come around to asking them out.

 

funny thing is I can always detect a sharp dip in interest on the girls part right before I ask her out, in fact in most case what finally pushes me to asking her out is the panic of her losing interest, but its too late at that point.

 

This is on area I know I need to change.

 

I just look at it as that maybe it was a blessing in disguise that they lost interest before anything got started. You don't know that any kind of relationship would have worked out long term anyway. Even if it progressed to marriage it might have led to a nasty divorce in court down the road. So for all you know you may have been spared alot of trouble and hell. For me I can take comfort in that. I would rather a woman lose interest in me before anything gets started than later on. How a relationship finishes is just as important as getting to the starting line. A good start is moot if it doesn't lead to a happy finish.

[Harradin]

This is worrying, I'm pretty shy and I can never tell when girls are interested in me so I get too scared to make a move.

 

I do ask girls out, but mostly to get the crush out of my system. It takes me 1-2 hours of playing it through and getting the courage to get them alone in person or to phone them up.

 

My last ex from a couple of years ago had to make the move on me because apparently I was oblivious to her showing me that she was interested! I did like her at the time but I was too shy to do anything about it.

 

I suppose I better start getting out of my comfort zone...

Edited September 13, 2014 by Harradin

[Gloria25]

I just look at it as that maybe it was a blessing in disguise that they lost interest before anything got started. You don't know that any kind of relationship would have worked out long term anyway. Even if it progressed to marriage it might have led to a nasty divorce in court down the road. So for all you know you may have been spared alot of trouble and hell. For me I can take comfort in that. I would rather a woman lose interest in me before anything gets started than later on. How a relationship finishes is just as important as getting to the starting line. A good start is moot if it doesn't lead to a happy finish.

 

Ok, if I am reading your post ^^ correctly, you are saying that 'if her interest wained, it was never there in the first place - or, it wasn't strong enough in the first place' and I beg to differ...

 

If a guy or gal isn't reciprocating your advances, what else is supposed to happen with that guy/gal's interest? If a guy/gal keeps on trying with someone who has been obvious about their lack of interest - then that guy/gal will look pathetic, desperate, and delusional to say the least.

 

So your analogy is that if 'she isn't trying, after each and every time I swat her down, she never liked me in the first place'...and that is not fair, and is wrong, IMO.

 

And, quite frankly, how in the world is someone supposed to get to know you (in order to dump you) if you don't even let them talk/get close to you? I mean, from your posts about your co-worker, you two don't really talk, sure aren't dating, so she really knows nothing about you and vice-versa. So, if her interest wains at this stage of your pseudo-courting/dating, it sure isn't based on anything about you cuz she never even had the chance to get to know anything about you.

Edited September 13, 2014 by Gloria25

[No Limit]

No, I'm sure the guy has his reasons, no frustration there on my side. I just quit putting that much energy into our aquaintance and move on.

[Tayken]

Last time I checked, this is 2014 and NOT 1816. What is wrong with a woman asking a man out, or does equality not extend this far? Good question for the feminist groups out there who fight for equality

[somedude81]

I really can't imagine a situation where a girl likes me a lot and is getting frustrated that I don't ask her out.

 

Is she doing anything to let me know that she likes me? I've always had a terrible time figuring out if a girl likes me or is just being friendly. 99.9% of the time the girl is just being friendly.

[Lipitor11]

Yeah, I do get frustrated, I don't know, if the guy doesn't ask me out, that just means he ain't interested.

[newmoon]

it decreases the interest more than anything. a guy who is "too shy" is just a lame excuse for someone who just doesn't like you enough to make a move. lots of guys just like to stare, chat us up, and show interest, but when it comes down to it... if he doesn't ask, he doesn't care. i've done the asking in this situation, to move it along, and it backfires - they really don't have the level of interest you think.

[Phoe]

and yet you expect men to take the same risk?

 

Oh not at all, I don't "expect" anything!

 

I can say that I do appreciate when a man does take that risk though, because I understand what kind of risk it can be and how it feels when the scene turns ugly.

 

But no, I would never expect a man to do anything

[Phoe]

Last time I checked, this is 2014 and NOT 1816. What is wrong with a woman asking a man out, or does equality not extend this far? Good question for the feminist groups out there who fight for equality

 

Nothing is wrong with it, women asking men out is awesome.

 

But not every woman is interested in doing so, and those who don't have different reasons.

 

I made the first move a handful of times and got rejected rather harshly and rudely every time. Made me feel really low. I never wanted to feel that way again, so I avoided it. I always knew I was more comfortable staying single for years rather than doing my own approaching and risking getting shot down badly.

 

I think if the rejections had been polite I would have a different view about me approaching.

[spiderowl]

Yes, but I have to say I wasn't interested at first so didn't take him up on any hints. Later, I decided I liked him but he never asked, so I assumed he'd lost interest.

[Darren2013]

Yes, but I have to say I wasn't interested at first so didn't take him up on any hints. Later, I decided I liked him but he never asked, so I assumed he'd lost interest.

 

The timing was bad.

[Tayken]

Nothing is wrong with it, women asking men out is awesome.

 

But not every woman is interested in doing so, and those who don't have different reasons.

 

I made the first move a handful of times and got rejected rather harshly and rudely every time. Made me feel really low. I never wanted to feel that way again, so I avoided it. I always knew I was more comfortable staying single for years rather than doing my own approaching and risking getting shot down badly.

 

I think if the rejections had been polite I would have a different view about me approaching.

 

I guess now you have an appreciation for what some men have to go through....or not as the case may be.