Broken heart

[sernutity0403]

My x-boyfriend and I used to work together we met in the work place. I thought he was very good looking but than I heard he was married so I backed away and left it as that. Eight months later a friend of mine came up to me and told me he liked me, but I heard he was married, he had told her that his wife and him where having lots of issues but they have been separated for months now. He told her he was not together with her anymore. And I had heard that he was also seeing some other girl before me but they where not together anymore. So i belved it was true. So we started talking little at time. Than one night it happened we ended going out after work and from there on we started spending lots of time together. I work two jobs, so my time was very limited with a 16 yr old teenage boy at home i was really busy hardly had time for my self, so we would see each other every chance we would get. Things where great I loved spending time with him and enjoyed his company we had lots fun together we told each our secrets and cryed together just like any couple would do he was always nice to me treated me good. Six mths later he found a job out of town and he would travel he would be out for 2wks and come home for 4 or 5 days. Than he would leave on Thursday afternoon around 2-3pm. I would not hear from him until he came back from the field or location from his work site. We would call each and texted all the time everyday and keep in contact once he return from the field. well 2 wks ago he called me like usually everything was fine he loved me and would talk to later. I fell asleep I work graveyards at my primary job and around 11:30 he calls and try's to break up with me over the phone he said he had to end it that he was going to try to make things work with his ex-wife and we could not see each other anymore and I try to clam him down cause he sound disrtraught and worried he was making no sence and we argued i kept telling him that what happend why was he doing this we argued I hanged up the phone on him i was crying and upset cause I had my whole world turn up side down in hours. Than I call my frined upset told her what happend she told me calm down that this sounded very suspicious there is something more going on than his telling you. So she tells me call the x-wife if he refuses to tell you she will answer your questions. So I did!!!! she returns my call I tell who I am and I asked her how long her and my boyfriend been talking bout getting back together again? That we had been dating for year and she says to me I don't know what he told you but we never been separtated we been married for 24 yrs!!! My heart just sanked I felt my whole world crushing down on me. She told me she heard us talking that morning and heard all our conversation and the sexual things he was saying to me over the phone and she asked him who I was and how long had he been cheating on her? That's when everything started making sence why he called me two hours later trying to break up things with me over the phone. The wife starte asking questions how we met and when we would see each other I told her he would come down Monday night and stay with me til Thursday afternoon and then he said he had to go back to work and I would not hear from him til Weneday the following week. She stated to me that he had been lieing to the both of us cause he would end up at her house thursday afternoon til Sunday evening and return to work on Monday morning!!!!!! he was sharing the week with both of us I was so mad and in shocked I could not belive what I was hearing this is the same man I had fallen in love with. I felt so bad she started crying and venting over thae phone, with me I told her to forgive me that I had no idea that she was still with him. after everything was out in the open I called him he would not answer my calls or texted so I left voice mails and texted him telling him off and asking why he would do this to me after knowing everything I went thru in the past with my ex-husband why would he hurt me this way. A whole year of his lie's. As for the wife she said they had talked and where going to work out things. I stated to her that I was not going to fight for him. That he was never mine to begin with. I told her I don't want your husband after he caused so much pain and hurt with his deceptions and lie's I told her you keep him and good luck. I would never be able to trust him and I don't want a man I can not trust. I told her because once a cheater always a cheater and we said goodbye. It took me a long time to trust in man again after my divorce and now it happens to me again!!! I just don't understand Does he even feel any remorse or gulity for the hurt he caused? Did he even love me at all? I am trying to go on and just take it one day at time, but i just feel so empty inside I just feel something is missing for me just to close this door behind me and never look back I just need some kind of closure I just don't know what it is? It's been two weeks now and he has not even called to apologized for his actions I don't think i will ever get clouser!!!

Edited September 13, 2014 by sernutity0403

[Natsu21]

I didn't even have to read halfway into it to know that he was a married man who, OBVIOUSLY, lied to you. And if you think he dumped the other chick he mentioned, well are you interested in a nice bright red Golden Gate Bridge in San Franscisco? I didn't even have to read halfway into that to know that he was married from the jump and that all you ever were was the Other Woman. It was so obvious. Now he's got to deal with the fallout. Which only leaves you.

 

Why do you seem to attract, or like to be around married men? This didn't happen once but TWICE? There's something wrong with your self-esteem that you would accept the love of someone who clearly was married. You need to leave these men alone, find someone single, and don't tolerate the crap because you don't believe you deserve better.

 

You're heartbroken, and you may not see this, but this is a blessing. You're not married to this loser. Be thankful. Who cares if he loves you? He doesn't, clearly, and don't use that truth and try to rationalize some way to think he does. Take it from a man: we can EASILY separate love from sex. It's in our DNA. And he doesn't love his wife. You will not change him. The doucherocket will just find another woman to sucker.

 

Men can, and will, exploit your low self-esteem and use it to their advantage, especially sleazy married men looking for some nice non-committal sex who use women like you to get off when their wives aren't looking. Learn from this: if he seems like he's married, he probably is.

Edited September 13, 2014 by Natsu21

[No Limit]

I'm sorry but I feel so, so sorry for the wife. That she rather remains in that "marriage" and continues to let herself be made a fool...

 

Also sorry for you OP. No, he never loved you, but used you for sex. He doesn't apologize because he isn't sorry. Closure? Here you go: he's a pig who will do any woman without self-esteem he can find.

 

And a tip for the future: when they say they're seperated, ask if you can bring them home or visit them (and on exactly the day you say it!), don't trust random flirts.

 

And, work on your self-esteem. You know, I'm 18 and have zero experience when it comes to dating, and yet I still figured out something was wrong (and a day after the first and last conversation found out he was also married, bah!). Pay attention when suspicious folk are around.

[Natsu21]

I'm sorry but I feel so, so sorry for the wife. That she rather remains in that "marriage" and continues to let herself be made a fool...

 

Also sorry for you OP. No, he never loved you, but used you for sex. He doesn't apologize because he isn't sorry. Closure? Here you go: he's a pig who will do any woman without self-esteem he can find.

 

And a tip for the future: when they say they're seperated, ask if you can bring them home or visit them (and on exactly the day you say it!), don't trust random flirts.

 

And, work on your self-esteem. You know, I'm 18 and have zero experience when it comes to dating, and yet I still figured out something was wrong (and a day after the first and last conversation found out he was also married, bah!). Pay attention when suspicious folk are around.

 

This is off topic, but I always thought you were a guy. ^

 

Wow. You're super blunt. I like ya.

[scatterd]

This guy is a poor excuse of a man. He does not care about his wife nor does he care about OW. I know you are hurt I feel for you. In time this will not hurt so bad. Think about how lucky you are not to be the wife I hope she makes it hard on him. All as you can do now is work on your self. I can see how you may of thought he was not married beings he was able to spend so much time with you. You should be able to take a persons word to be true but unfortunately now days their is many you cant. You may never hear from this man again. I don't think I would want to after what has happened. Do the best you can to heal and take time to find your self. After Divorce and a couple of bad relationships it can do something to your confidence. You probably need time to heal and rediscover yourself. I wish you the best Big Hugs

[Diezel]

I stopped at "married man" in the second line of that wall of text that almost smothered my face.

 

You should have stopped at "married man" too, OP.

[sernutity0403]

Thank you for all your advice and comments things are going to get better I am sure just taking it one day at time lesson learned!!

[Natsu21]

Thank you for all your advice and comments things are going to get better I am sure just taking it one day at time lesson learned!!

 

Wow, you're beautiful. Wow....

[smackie9]

Here's a tip: any man that is willing to cheat on his SO is someone you need to stay away from.

[Diezel]

Correction: ANY person willing to cheat on their SO is someone you need to avoid.

 

They'll do the same thing to you, that they did to them.