A poll about paying on dates

[tokyo]

Originally posted by greenhorn

In India the net salary for women folks are alway more than men at the same level cause by law they are supposed to pay less Income tax than men. Who said there is gender equality Arrrrrrrrrghhhhhh @#$%

 

Hm, interesting. There are surely other disadvantages to make up for this, I can't imagine that they do it, because they think women are so nice.

[greenhorn]

Originally posted by kooky

Hm, interesting. There are surely other disadvantages to make up for this, I can't imagine that they do it, because they think women are so nice.

 

I tell you, we were studying in the same class in the B school, a firm comes for recruitment at the end of our course one grl and me get placed into same firm at the same level. We joined the firm and at the end of the month when the pay slip comes she has more of net salary than me .

 

I really don't know why they do this but I surely want them to scrap this nonsense rule.

[tokyo]

Originally posted by greenhorn

I tell you, we were studying in the same class in the B school, a firm comes for recruitment at the end of our course one grl and me get placed into same firm at the same level. We joined the firm and at the end of the month when the pay slip comes she has more of net salary than me .

 

I really don't know why they do this but I surely want them to scrap this nonsense rule.

 

Hm, without wanting to be nasty (seriously), could it be that she made a different deal with her boss than you did? Because having the same position does not mean same payment. That's what a lot of women face in the working world.

[greenhorn]

Originally posted by kooky

Hm, without wanting to be nasty (seriously), could it be that she made a different deal with her boss than you did? Because having the same position does not mean same payment. That's what a lot of women face in the working world.

 

No Kooky it is not like that.The income tax rate is decided by the federal government and every firm that pays salary has to deduct the tax and deposit it with the federal government.So since her tax was less the net salary was more and yes for the same position the gross salary is same whether male or female.The wages are pretty much fixed.

[moimeme]

Women are the weaker gender

 

Um. We live longer, are healthier, and bear pain better. That we can't do as many chinups or pushups doesn't mean we're helpless little feathers.

 

I think it's lovely and delightful when a fellow wants to pay - I just would never want him to feel that he did all the work or put out all the money. If he wouldn't let me pay, I'd find other ways (not meaning *that* lol) to even the balance - after all, I want to do some of the giving, too!!

[SleepingLover]

Originally posted by greenhorn

Oops I missed out this thread...if I am not that late then my views pls

 

 

If I go on date then I always like paying for the girl. No it is nothing like to do with asking favours for that, it is as simple that I dont value money more than relationships. I would be very much comfortable in having a nil bank balance but a loving relationship.

 

Don't they say that "generosity comes out of love". I would love to spend on someone whom I love or else what do I earn for ?

 

Aye, I must say I agree completely.

 

Money is of least important to me when it comes to a relationship. If I feel secure and emotionally nursed and cared for money can't even compare in value. As long as I get by that is all that matters to me. Just need someone to hold and hold me back. Someone to make feel like they are the most special person in the world and someone to make me feel like I'm the most special person in the world. You can't pay for that no matter how much money you lay on the table.

[tokyo]

I think I should try to get a date with SleepingLover or Greenhorn.

 

By the way, how would you guys feel if you were dating a woman who insisted on always paying for you too?

 

 

Originally posted by moimeme

Um. We live longer, are healthier, and bear pain better. That we can't do as many chinups or pushups doesn't mean we're helpless little feathers.

 

Yes, I know this, but I was more thinking of the immediate physical condition. If I got assaulted by someone I'd prefer to be with a guy who is physically able and willing to kick his ass. Or if I need help with moving it would be nice to have a guy help you with carrying the heavy stuff. And before you misunderstand me, this willingness to help or protect someone is not or should not be based on the gender, I think it's an instinct (or the consequence of a good education) to help someone who is physically less advantaged than you, like children or elder people.

[greenhorn]

Originally posted by kooky

I think I should try to get a date with SleepingLover or Greenhorn.

 

Any day 'kooky' and day

 

By the way, how would you guys feel if you were dating a woman who insisted on always paying for you too?

 

It won't be an issue with me cause I don't give importance to who pays the bills. If she wants to pay then I am game if not I will pay

 

 

If I got assaulted by someone I'd prefer to be with a guy who is physically able and willing to kick his ass. Or if I need help with moving it would be nice to have a guy help you with carrying the heavy stuff.

 

Lol ..is that what you need a guy for ...no date with you now

[d'Arthez]

As I must have posted earlier, I would not mind paying for a date, or even every date if necessary. That being said, if the woman offers to pay, I'd let her pay.

 

For me it is not about the balance, although it certainly might seem that way, if you are willing to pay for everything, if necessary. For me, the date would be about enjoying ourselves. Date settings of course vary from person to person, and I would not be an expensive dater in the first place.

 

As it is obvious I don't care much about money anyway (I always have enough), I feel most women would not mind. Especially as I am not the type to date randomly. But if she insisted to pay, I would want to know why she insists though. If it is because of the earlier mentioned 'dishonorable' reasons, I would at least offer to pay sometimes, in the hope that she accepts.

 

The willingness to help is always there. Let's just say that my intellectual side is a lot stronger, than my physical side. Regardless of gender I'd help of course.

[tokyo]

I think I will also have to put d'Arthez on my dating list.

[CurvyGurl]

I don't think its fair to date someone for a long period of time and make him pay for everything unless he makes more than I do, in spades. Otherwise, I always come prepared to pay for myself. Having never dated someone longer than a month, I don't much experience here, but past the first date, I try to reciprocate to make it a little easier on his pocket. Typically the men I date make more than I do and won't hear of me paying for myself but I feel its courteous to offer and to mean it.

 

Though, I do so love a gentleman, and I believe whomever asks, pays. If I call and say 'Lets go to a movie', I expect to pay. If he calls and says 'let's go to dinner" I expect him to pay. Unless we've pre arranged who is paying for what, I like to clear that up from the start. If you ask me, dont expect me to pull out my wallet and I won't ask you unless I am prepared to pay for the both of us.

[AliceW]

My feeling is that if women ever truly achieve equal pay for equal work and full access to any type of job they want...in other words, if we get true financial equality with men...it wouldn't make any sense for men to pay for things in those circumstances. The system of men always paying for things is a leftover from when women mostly didn't have their own money.

 

I think it shouldn't be about gender. Ideally, both people should enjoy treating each other to special things and nice nights out.

 

In my current relationship, my boyfriend makes much more money than me (almost twice as much), and so he tends to pay for more...for example, we'll pay for roughly the same number of dinners out, but I'll be more likely to pay at the less expensive places unless I'm taking him out for a special occasion. We try to keep things roughly in proportion to our incomes without getting too nitpicky obout it.

 

So I guess what I'm getting at is that I think the tradition of men paying for everything doesn't make sense if women have equal access to earning thier own money. That said, in any particular relationship there will probably one person who makes more money, and that person should probably pay for somewhat more, whether they are male or female. But regardless, a spirit of making the other person feel special and cared for should be there...I don't like splitting bills...I'd rather treat my bf and be treated in return the next time....

[tokyo]

Thanks, CurvyGurl and AliceW.

 

Originally posted by AliceW

I don't like splitting bills...I'd rather treat my bf and be treated in return the next time....

 

That is true actually, it feels nicer to alternate with paying. In the end, if you date for a couple of time, the amount of money is roughly the same, but it doesn't feel like these are two people who merely happened to get together by chance, but that they came together to enjoy each other's company. And you have to continue dating, because you simply don't know when you are even.

 

Originally posted by CurvyGurl

Though, I do so love a gentleman, and I believe whomever asks, pays. If I call and say 'Lets go to a movie', I expect to pay. If he calls and says 'let's go to dinner" I expect him to pay. Unless we've pre arranged who is paying for what, I like to clear that up from the start. If you ask me, dont expect me to pull out my wallet and I won't ask you unless I am prepared to pay for the both of us.

 

Hm, that does surprise me actually, if you have a partner who is less active and more waiting to be aske to go out, that might be a problem. I think I would feel a bit uncomfortable if I knew I always had to pay for two people whenever I wanted to do something.

[AliceW]

This sort of thing is different in a long-term relationship versus just going on a couple of dates with someone, also. I've been with my BF for 1 1/2 years at this point, but when I was single and dating I generally let the guy pay for the first date, and then I'd pay for the second (if there was one!).

 

It can be a delicate balance trying to keep things fair, while also respecting the fact that our society does have pretty deeply engrained ideas about what is "appropriate" for each gender. As a woman, I have sometimes ended up feeling that if I pay, I'm emasculating the guy, but if I don't I'm a gold digger or a non-feminist...it can be tricky. Fortunately my BF and I have navigated this aspect of our relationship very well, and I rarely or never feel awkward about money issues with him!