My first post to LS! Would love a warm welcome ;)

[Liveman]

I figured I would be on this topic most often so I might as well introduce

myself here. I'm a man, 28, from Canada. My passion is being physically active. From camping in the summer, snowboarding, learning new skills for around the house, kitchen, etc.

 

 

I'm single for now. I know myself well enough that I struggle with relationship intimacy, I hold in my emotions etc.

 

*I'm here to have more consistency in self-esteem and happiness. I'm mostly quite happy with who I am, I just want to work on keeping my head up more & more often. As well as make the most of every experience that I have with people on a day to day basis.

 

Let me know what you're story is and why you are here if you will..

 

-Liveman

[cerridwen]

Hi Liveman,

 

Welcome.

 

I came here after a break-up and stayed because I grew fond of many posters on the site.

My heart healed and I'm in a good relationship now.

Like you, I'm a fan of outdoor pursuits and fitness.

I also really like vodka.

 

May I ask what you mean by wanting to make the "most of every experience" you have "on a day to day basis" ?

That sounds ambitious!

What does that look like?

[Liveman]

Well what I mean by that is trying to enjoy the small moments of the normal days. Not the ones where I'm going on a trip, seeing friends etc. The work days, the errand days. I find people often just try and get things done as quickly as possible, very transactional, at least i've noticed in Western culture.

 

I've been to a few "3rd World" countries and they do much more of the smelling of roses. Sure things take a long time to complete but everyone is in the same boat so theres much more enjoying of the moment I find.

 

Compliment some people you work with, say hi to a stranger, smile at people, try reading a new book or checking out a new area of town.

[Mr Scorpio]

Welcome.

 

I assume my story is like most others. I came here after a breakup and stuck around to provide an ear for others in pain. Also, to propagate my own absurdities on a website that ranks in the top 700 in terms of activity.

[Els]

Welcome!

[Liveman]

Thank you!

Top 700 huh? Right on. I'm sure there's alot of people that make home at certain websites on a regular basis with all sorts of different interests.

I find this most intriguing. I usually just stay home, make a storm of my

kitchen and watch tv/movies all day when i'm down but now I'll make an effort to come here.

 

I'm looking forward to hearing from others and how we can help each other

out

[whichwayisup]

You seem like a good guy and have a lot of positives going for you too.

(Being a handy man around the house will save you tons of money in the future!)

 

I know myself well enough that I struggle with relationship intimacy, I hold in my emotions etc.

 

Do you know why you hold in your emotions? You afraid or worried to get too close to someone and you'll get hurt? If you can dig down deep and work on these issues, learn to keep an open heart and take a chance without being scared of getting hurt, the good that comes out of it out weighs any bad.

[whichwayisup]

Well what I mean by that is trying to enjoy the small moments of the normal days. Not the ones where I'm going on a trip, seeing friends etc. The work days, the errand days. I find people often just try and get things done as quickly as possible, very transactional, at least i've noticed in Western culture.

 

I've been to a few "3rd World" countries and they do much more of the smelling of roses. Sure things take a long time to complete but everyone is in the same boat so theres much more enjoying of the moment I find.

 

Compliment some people you work with, say hi to a stranger, smile at people, try reading a new book or checking out a new area of town.

 

I've always taken time to smell the roses and focus on the smaller joys in life. The littlest things can make me so happy and feel blessed.

 

Ha, I don't even have a regular cell phone that most have, just one that does text/talk though people are trying to convince me to get an iphone..Not interested!

[Mr Scorpio]

I've always taken time to smell the roses and focus on the smaller joys in life. The littlest things can make me so happy and feel blessed.

 

I try to make it a point to always derive pleasure from one thing that I think most of us take for granted: clean water. Every time I step into a hot shower, I picture some poor soul trekking a mile to the nearest well for water to cook and clean with.

[whichwayisup]

Compliment some people you work with, say hi to a stranger, smile at people, try reading a new book or checking out a new area of town.

 

I think this is great. The more compliments you (general you) give to people, put a smile on their face is a win-win. To make someone's day better, whether it be someone you know or a complete stranger doesn't matter, just to know that you did or said something kind can go a long way. Good karma/pay it forward.

[cerridwen]

I try to make it a point to always derive pleasure from one thing that I think most of us take for granted: clean water. Every time I step into a hot shower, I picture some poor soul trekking a mile to the nearest well for water to cook and clean with.

 

Nice.

 

OP, I caught part of a PBS documentary called Happy.

Have you seen it?

They mention some very specific things everyone can do to experience more happiness in life.

IMO, they're spot on.

 

Anyway, I'm reminded of it since you mentioned Third World countries.

People might be surprised by the levels of happiness many experience despite the absence of material goods.

But there are other facets to the program so I hope you get to watch it sometime.

[Mr Scorpio]

Anyway, I'm reminded of it since you mentioned Third World countries.

 

It really is the flipside of the coin. Folks in aboriginal societies don't have iCrap or all the bills that come along with our modern conveniences.

 

However, they do have food, water, shelter, and fire surrounded by people to talk to at the end of the day.

 

Really, what more do you need?

[cerridwen]

It really is the flipside of the coin. Folks in aboriginal societies don't have iCrap or all the bills that come along with our modern conveniences.

 

However, they do have food, water, shelter, and fire surrounded by people to talk to at the end of the day.

 

Really, what more do you need?

 

I do wonder.

 

When I had it all, I couldn't have been more stressed and freaked out.

 

Now, with less, and an eye on what I believe to be more meaningful stuff, I feel much more peace.

 

Look at the Before You Die thread created by our own calculus expert, Ptp.

Many posters are citing "happiness" and "peace" as things they desire most.

Sure, you and I said "World Cup" attendance and a "raptor egg omelete" but the fact remains, we're not normal.

EVERYONE (normal) wants to be happy.

It's perhaps re-examining what that looks like and how to get it.

[ja123]

Welcome to Loveshack, Liveman!

 

 

You sound really proactive. That's great!

 

 

 

 

 

OP, I caught part of a PBS documentary called Happy.

Have you seen it?

They mention some very specific things everyone can do to experience more happiness in life.

IMO, they're spot on.

 

 

 

Cerridwen, you wouldn't know of a site where we could watch this from Canada, would you?

 

 

PBS docs is blocked from Canadian IP addresses and I don't have a proxy server.

 

 

Anyone?

 

 

I could use a dose of "happy" right now.

[cerridwen]

Welcome to Loveshack, Liveman!

 

 

You sound really proactive. That's great!

 

 

 

Cerridwen, you wouldn't know of a site where we could watch this from Canada, would you?

 

 

PBS docs is blocked from Canadian IP addresses and I don't have a proxy server.

 

 

Anyone?

 

 

I could use a dose of "happy" right now.

 

Crap, Ja, I don't know!

 

Hmm...Let me look around and PM you.

I'd like you to see it because it really IS well done.

[Mr Scorpio]

I could use a dose of "happy" right now.

 

Take your pick!

 

Baby Girl Laughing Hysterically at Dog Eating Popcorn | Laughing Babies | toddletale - YouTube

 

 

[Els]

 

I've been to a few "3rd World" countries and they do much more of the smelling of roses. Sure things take a long time to complete but everyone is in the same boat so theres much more enjoying of the moment I find.

 

Interesting. The last 3rd world country I lived in, there was very little rose-smelling being done. Most adults worked 60+ hour weeks on a pitiful wage, and children spent most of their time outside school either studying for national exams, or working for even more pitiful wages. I suppose it depends on the specific countries in play.

 

That being said, I agree with the sentiment in general. I think it's great to consciously take time to enjoy the little things in life. I mean, at the end of the day that's all we truly have - time, and life. It's all too easy to forget that and get buried in the trivial. Thanks for the reminder!

[Liveman]

I'm so surprised at the overwhelming response to this thread!

It's great to be welcomed by all of you.

 

@whichway Thanks for the compliments! As to why I have those emotions.

I know myself pretty well and I think it has to do with my boyish/innocent looks. I like the way I look for the most part but I think sub-consciously I try and overcompensate for this by not expressing much intimacy as It's "associated" with weakness/lack of a man etc. Analyzing this, It's obviously

not true but to an extent in our society it most definitely is. I feel this is similar with shorter than average men, feeling they need to act more macho/tough. This is just my small sample observation.. & good for you for having a regular cell. I was going to switch to talk & text for savings but FB is a big part of my social group organizing events etc.

 

@scorpio - I really like your appreciation for fresh water. I can honestly save i've never heard of that but it's truly a valuable commodity in some parts of the world and we definately take it for granted..

 

@cerridwin - I'm checking out that Doc tonight! I love docs of all sorts.

 

@ja123 - Thanks for the welcome! also, awesome, a fellow Canadian

 

@Els - I know what you mean about 3rd world slums. It's crazy that they get no air time on western media. Not to begin mentioning the lack of media coverage on Africa issues on disease, starvation etc. We definately have it much much better and we should cherish,appreachiate this and do what we can do better the rest. Not just in our own community but around the world.

 

 

Let's keep this thread going! Is there any 1 things that have helped everyone here from joining LS, if you could pin point 1? So far whichwaysup has really reminded me on (what I think) i'm doing in terms of my intimacy issues..

[Mr Scorpio]

Is there any 1 things that have helped everyone here from joining LS, if you could pin point 1?

 

 

Having a place to vent after a breakup. And when I become frustrated at my lack of progress in life. For better or worse, LS comprises the majority of my social interaction, at least that beyond a superficial level.