question

[darla]

I have been dating this one guy for a year. It took six months of dating him for me to decide that I loved him. But it always seemed like our relationship was missing something. And I think it was because he was not open enough with me. He did not know how to communicate or talk about his feelings, which bothered me. But he would tell me that he loved me. Other than that, things were going well with us, and then all of a sudden he broke up with me, without even giving me a good reason why. After about 2 weeks, we spoke again, and he led me to believe that he would like to try to work things out. The main reason he broke up with me is because of this new job he is getting and he won't be able to see me hardly at all, maybe once a week. But I told him he had hurt me so badly that I wanted to wait about a month before seeing, or speaking to him again. He was not really okay with that, but he accepted it. And now, I just want him back so badly! I miss him so much, haven't seen him in 3 weeks. I totally don't care about how bad he hurt me anymore, I just need to be with him. Did I do the right thing, by telling him to wait, or should I just go ahead and call him now and tell him how I really feel?

[Jane]

Read my post. Changing oneself is not difficult at all.

I have been dating this one guy for a year. It took six months of dating him for me to decide that I loved him. But it always seemed like our relationship was missing something. And I think it was because he was not open enough with me. He did not know how to communicate or talk about his feelings, which bothered me. But he would tell me that he loved me. Other than that, things were going well with us, and then all of a sudden he broke up with me, without even giving me a good reason why. After about 2 weeks, we spoke again, and he led me to believe that he would like to try to work things out. The main reason he broke up with me is because of this new job he is getting and he won't be able to see me hardly at all, maybe once a week. But I told him he had hurt me so badly that I wanted to wait about a month before seeing, or speaking to him again. He was not really okay with that, but he accepted it. And now, I just want him back so badly! I miss him so much, haven't seen him in 3 weeks. I totally don't care about how bad he hurt me anymore, I just need to be with him. Did I do the right thing, by telling him to wait, or should I just go ahead and call him now and tell him how I really feel?

[Fishbulb]

I have been dating this one guy for a year.

It took six months of dating him for me to decide that I loved him. But it always seemed like our relationship was missing something. And I think it was because he was not open enough with me. He did not know how to communicate or talk about his feelings, which bothered me. But he would tell me that he loved me. Other than that, things were going well with us, and then all of a sudden he broke up with me, without even giving me a good reason why. After about 2 weeks, we spoke again, and he led me to believe that he would like to try to work things out. The main reason he broke up with me is because of this new job he is getting and he won't be able to see me hardly at all, maybe once a week. But I told him he had hurt me so badly that I wanted to wait about a month before seeing, or speaking to him again. He was not really okay with that, but he accepted it. And now, I just want him back so badly! I miss him so much, haven't seen him in 3 weeks. I totally don't care about how bad he hurt me anymore, I just need to be with him. Did I do the right thing, by telling him to wait, or should I just go ahead and call him now and tell him how I really feel?

Telling him how you feel, at this point in communications, would probably NOT be in your own best interest, and I'll tell you why...this will tell him you don't respect the boundaries YOU YOURSELF set up, and will cave when push comes to shove. But lets' look at HIS behaiour for a moment...he's offering excuses and less of his time, then when you say what you need, he puts up a fight to give it to you.... Then, to make matters worse, you say "I totally don't care how bad he hurt me anymore, I just need to be with him." Do you really want to be under the thumb of this guy, to be squashed at will, because he knows you'll come crawling back, because you don't care how much he hurts you? Oprah would slap you silly, girl! Please, for your own future, grow a spine and don't let yourself become another talk show star... if you really want to work it out, for some reason, though, at least have the willpower to honor your own ultimatums. You owe yourself at least that.