Driving me crazy

[ted878787]

Hello all.

 

 

Please realize I know this is completely irrational and I expect to get my fair share of "get over it" and "stop being a baby" comments, but if I could do that I wouldn't be here. My wife and I will be celebrating our 13th anniversary this year and we've been together for close to 16. She was my first, and I, her second. When she arrived in college, she had very low self esteem. Her parents disregarded her being the youngest of 6 kids, not too many friends and not someone who would garner a lot of attention from boys in high school. When she got to college, she looked noticeably different in a good way. One boy in particular took notice on her and although he didn't treat her badly he wasn't exactly nice to her either. She insists he always used protection, she never gave oral and she never had an orgasm with him but she did c** sometimes (So yes guys, apparently these are two different things) and I trust her implicitly on this. They dated for about 1.5 years or so and from what I gather had sex frequently. Before him there was an incident where she pleased a another guy using her hands while he did something similar to her.

 

 

I will fully admit that I was completely inexperienced before I met her in every way shape or form besides kissing a few girls. This is not however, why I am bothered due to me not being at the same level she was.

 

 

What I am struggling with is every once in awhile I get these images of these guys doing things to my wife and while I can usually get past them, this month has been horrific. I also recently found that one of the guys (not the ex boyfriend) lives extremely close to me. I cannot even begin to tell you how much this bothers me that another guy who knows my wife right lives so close. He has turned out to be a loser in life one of those guys living in the glory days of high school, but it scares me that other people know what they did....see, told you irrational.

 

 

I know this is considered retroactive jealousy, and maybe I need to see someone, but anyone have any experience in getting these images out of my head????

 

 

Thanks for "listening"

[Conners]

Yes get over it.

 

You're lucky it wasn't more than that.

[d0nnivain]

Stop focusing on them & her past. Remind yourself that she picked you. She married you & you have been together for 16 years. That is waaaaayyyyy more important than some guy she toyed with a decade & a half ago.

[CaliGypsy]

She's been a good wife all these years, yes? If she has, then yes maybe talking to someone would help. Her experiences helped shape her and make her the woman you fell in love with. She chose YOU I hope your intrusive thoughts of her past don't tarnish your future.

 

As far as the orgasm/c** being two different things. I didn't know there was a difference. Am I missing out?

[ted878787]

Thank you for your response Cali. Yes, she is an incredible woman and an unbelievable mother. I don't have enough words describe either and if I did, they wouldn't do her justice. She has never been unfaithful, never looked at another guy, although she does admit having a thing for Gerard Butler ...Guess I cant blame her for that. And trust me, I don't go looking for the past. I'll just see something or hear something that takes me back to those times and that's when the images occur. I don't blame her, not angry at her, or anything like that. Trust me, I'm not trying to think of this.

 

 

As far as the orgasm thing, it was a comment she made to reassure me that when she's with me her eyes roll back in her head, etc. etc. and that never happened with past BF although she would c**. I don't know maybe its different with her.

[lolablue17]

When someone is troubled with something, it doesn't help if we tell him "you shouldn't be bothered with it" or "don't be".

 

Life will lead you along the way and I hope you will not have bigger troubles than that one, which will definitely give you some proportions.

 

But you can look at it that way: Your restlessness keeps some level of "fears to lose her" and probably cause and will cause you to invest a little more in your relationship. It will help you to remember not to take her for granted, so in a way - this bothering mosquito bzzzz may be the thing that improves your marriage and makes it great as it is now.

 

Because many married men and women actually do take the other spouse for granted and in some point lose interest in marriage. this is the most common dangerous threat. So consider yourself as a lucky guy.

[ExpatInItaly]

Thank you for your response Cali. Yes, she is an incredible woman and an unbelievable mother. I don't have enough words describe either and if I did, they wouldn't do her justice. She has never been unfaithful, never looked at another guy, although she does admit having a thing for Gerard Butler ...Guess I cant blame her for that. And trust me, I don't go looking for the past. I'll just see something or hear something that takes me back to those times and that's when the images occur. I don't blame her, not angry at her, or anything like that. Trust me, I'm not trying to think of this.

 

 

As far as the orgasm thing, it was a comment she made to reassure me that when she's with me her eyes roll back in her head, etc. etc. and that never happened with past BF although she would c**. I don't know maybe its different with her.

 

I am a woman too, and never in my life have I considered an orgasm and c*ming something different. I think she's splitting hairs to soothe your insecurity.

[ted878787]

Thank you for your kind works LolaBlue. I very much appreciate it.