Hep Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 I have known my fiance for 3 years. He has always seemed to be finacially stable. I moved in with him 1-1/2 years ago. He has been dealing with all the bills since I moved in.. We are getting married in 2 months, and I wanted to know how we were finacially. It seems he has ran up credit cards. He has a total of $16,000. He says its from fixing up the house. My debt is very low. He is 34, I am 24 and I don't want to be stupid about things. He treats me very good. It doesn't seem like he has stable jobs either. He has been jobless over half our relationship. He started doing appraisals for houses about 6 months ago. It was going good at first, but he hasn't worked since January. He said it is slow right now, but it will get better. What makes it worse is, I quit my job in December. I was bartending making very good money. He wanted me to quit and I did. I asked him when I quit if we were finacially stable and he said yes, so I quit. Come to find out we are not O.K. He said the reason he told me we were o.k. is b/c he knew I wouldn't quit. HELP ME ON ALL OF THIS. He has treated me better than anyone. I hate to be in debt. Never have had to worry about this. Wedding in two months, I can't back out now, too much money involved. I don't mind staying with him and help him pay it off, but get the impression he's lazy and doesn't care. Debt goes up every month HELP PLEASE!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Artifact Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 If you really think he is NOT interested in paying off the debt in a timely manner, you may need to rethink the wedding- even if it's only 2 months away. I don't really understand why he wanted you to quit your job in the first place? Come to find out we are not O.K. He said the reason he told me we were o.k. is b/c he knew I wouldn't quit. You two really need to talk about your finances. You also may want to take over the bills, or at least be involved. Financial stress can RUIN your marriage. If he is lazy and doesn't care, that's bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hep Posted March 6, 2005 Author Share Posted March 6, 2005 Thank You for replying. We talked about things today and I hope it gets better. He told me has plans to resolve this, but I am still worried. I really would like to take over paying the bills but am scared that he thinks "he's the man". He pays all the bills online, so I am never sure the order he pays them or anything. All I know is when a bill comes, I look at it, and its gotten higher b/c all he is doing is paying the minimum. Wew. If u can offer anymore advice I would love it Thank you so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hep Posted March 6, 2005 Author Share Posted March 6, 2005 I don't think he wanted me bartending... a bit jealous I think. Link to post Share on other sites
n/a Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 Well ... 2 months getting married. None of you have employment. How are the bills going to get paid if there is no income coming in? Is he really paying the bills? 16K in debt is nothing, but it can become something if your living off credit. If I was you, you need to set some ground rules ... get your bartending job back, jealous he is or not, tell him to suck it up, jealousy is not going to pay the bills here. He needs to find ANY employment, even if it is in a grocery store as a clerk! You are in no position to be getting married when you cannot pay your bills. One other thing, do you really want someone who has no direction in employment? Who is jealous, and with that - when you becoming married, is going to continue to call YOUR shots?? Soemthing to think about. Good Luck on this, its a tough situation, not a something that he needs a 'little' talking to on! Link to post Share on other sites
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