Becoming more picky about looks?

[Imajerk17]

Oh yeah I forgot to mention what happened in surfing today.

 

Unsurprisingly the girl I was interested in has a boyfriend.

 

Though that doesn't matter as I got the number of a different girl who wants to go out this week. I didn't have my phone with me so I gave her my number. She texted me a while ago saying who she is so I'd have her number.

 

I have not replied to that message. What should I text her? I want to surf on Saturday.

 

"Hey xxx! {question or comment related to what you and she talked about}"

 

"I want to go surfing on Saturday. What is your schedule like?"

[somedude81]

I've had situations where I've been making plans with people and then realized later that I already had plans for that night. I'm not that great with my calendar at times, particularly if I'd made plans in advance. I forget. So, to me that in and of itself doesn't raise any alarm bells. She was obviously excited about going dancing and got caught up in the moment. As for agreeing to lunch and then being full...if they were eating at the farmer's market, I don't find this to be that crazy either.

 

Not responding to the texts...here is my two cents, for what it's worth.

 

Somedude already told her to let him know when she wanted to go dancing, so the ball was already in her court. His text to her simply said the same thing again, in a very short time frame. There was really no need for it at all and if she hadn't figured out her schedule yet, potentially no need to respond yet. (I don't think he asked her a question.) If I got a text like that, I might think "Well, you already said that and I already told you I would." I don't think Somedude should've sent this text, period.

 

As for the second text...the polite thing would've been to thank Somedude and let him know she couldn't go. But again, there was no question to answer, just a casual, "you should come." We don't know anything about her texting style. She might've seen the text, knew she couldn't go because she already had plans, and just didn't respond. That may be her style. Personally, I don't respond to every text I get.

 

She also might've sensed Somedude's ambivalence toward her and decided she wasn't interested in him after all.

 

Who knows, really?

Yeah the first text didn't really warrant a reply. It was basically me just telling her that I have her number.

 

I would have liked a reply to the text where I invited her to the meeting. I don't how a girl could come to the conclusion that I'm not interested in her when I told her that I'm going to some thing and that she should come.

 

So you are saying in that time after she left, she decided that she was no longer interested? If that's true, then that is really odd. Especially if the reason was that she thinks I wasn't that into her, never mind the fact that I just invited her to lunch and I offered to drive her to a dance event and then walked with her to the bus stop as we tried to figure out when to go.

 

As I said before, women don't make no sense.

[somedude81]

"Hey xxx! {question or comment related to what you and she talked about}"

 

"I want to go surfing on Saturday. What is your schedule like?"

 

We didn't really talk about anything worth bringing up again.

 

Well, I hinted that I might crash the surfing class tomorrow and she said that she might go as well. But I just decided that I don't want to go tmorrow.

 

Could I send this?

 

"Hey xxx, I'm not going to go to the class tomorrow but I want to go surfing on Saturday. What is your schedule like?"

[Imajerk17]

We didn't really talk about anything worth bringing up again.

 

Well, I hinted that I might crash the surfing class tomorrow and she said that she might go as well. But I just decided that I don't want to go tmorrow.

 

Could I send this?

 

"Hey xxx, I'm not going to go to the class tomorrow but I want to go surfing on Saturday. What is your schedule like?"

 

"Hey {girl's name}! How's your day so far?"

 

"I'm not going to the class after all but I want to go surfing on Saturday. Why don't you join me..."

Edited September 25, 2014 by Imajerk17

[clia]

"Hey {girl's name}! How's your day so far?"

 

"I'm not going to the class after all but I want to go surfing on Saturday. Why don't you join me..."

 

I definitely prefer "why don't you join me" to "what's your schedule like." The latter is way too open.

 

I would just say:

 

"Hey X, I'm not going to be in class tomorrow, but am planning to go surfing on Saturday. Do you want to join me?"

[clia]

Yeah the first text didn't really warrant a reply. It was basically me just telling her that I have her number.

 

I would have liked a reply to the text where I invited her to the meeting. I don't how a girl could come to the conclusion that I'm not interested in her when I told her that I'm going to some thing and that she should come.

 

I didn't say she sensed you weren't interested. I said she sensed you were ambivalent. There is a difference. (And you kind of were, weren't you? Since you were more interested in her friend?)

 

So you are saying in that time after she left, she decided that she was no longer interested?

 

I have no idea. Anything could have happened from the time you two parted. Maybe she met another guy.

 

I actually think she is going to text you at some point.

[Phoe]

Oh yeah I forgot to mention what happened in surfing today.

 

Unsurprisingly the girl I was interested in has a boyfriend.

 

Though that doesn't matter as I got the number of a different girl who wants to go out this week. I didn't have my phone with me so I gave her my number. She texted me a while ago saying who she is so I'd have her number.

 

I have not replied to that message. What should I text her? I want to surf on Saturday.

 

Which girl has a boyfriend? A or B?

 

There are too many girls now lol. I can't keep up.

[somedude81]

I didn't say she sensed you weren't interested. I said she sensed you were ambivalent. There is a difference. (And you kind of were, weren't you? Since you were more interested in her friend?)

Honestly, I was really hungry and I just wanted to eat. Once she changed her mind about lunch, I just wanted to her to take off so I could get some food. She just seemed to be dragging things on.

 

Of course I was still being nice and friendly to her.

 

I have no idea. Anything could have happened from the time you two parted. Maybe she met another guy.

 

I actually think she is going to text you at some point.

 

OK, so it's a mystery about what happened int he time we parted.

 

So I should definitely just wait for her to contact me. I do want to go out dancing these weekend, so I'll go the place where Girl A (the other girl) is going to be on Friday.

 

Maybe I'll tell Girl B about it on Monday to try and get her jealous if she didn't text me over the weekend and, then try to make plans with her to go out.

[somedude81]

Which girl has a boyfriend? A or B?

 

There are too many girls now lol. I can't keep up.

 

LOL, I think I need to make a chart.

 

A is the girl in my dance class that I like. She's the one who ran away from me last week when I wanted to dance with her. She's going out to the dance place on Friday. She invited me and B as well.

 

B is the girl that I walked through the on campus farmers market with and tried to make plans.

 

C was the girl in surfing who I just learned has a boyfriend. She lost her letter and the new surfing girl whose number I have is the new C.

 

D is a math tutor that I want to get closer to on Tuesday.

 

I don't know if any of the above girls are single so I'm just assuming they are. They may actually all have boyfriends which wouldn't surprise me at all. I'll just need to find out.

Edited September 25, 2014 by somedude81

[IttyBittyKitty]

So many girls! See? You have nothing to worry about, youll be just fine.

[Imajerk17]

Maybe I'll tell Girl B about it on Monday to try and get her jealous if she didn't text me over the weekend and, then try to make plans with her to go out.

 

No don't do that.

 

If you are still interested in Girl B then call her tomorrow. If she is at least on the fence and you leave the vm as I suggested you will not have blown anything.

 

Overall you have to make it a point to be more direct/show more leadership. This is what I presume got you that girl's number.

[clia]

So I should definitely just wait for her to contact me. I do want to go out dancing these weekend, so I'll go the place where Girl A (the other girl) is going to be on Friday.

 

I think this is a good plan. And also text C about surfing Saturday.

[SummerDreams]

I'm wondering, if SD ever gets a gf, will he come here in LS and ask us what he should tell her and how to behave? Will we give him lists with what to do or not to do?

 

1. When you wake up: kiss her. Girls like that.

2. When you go out, touch her. It's romantic.

3. When you call her, talk to her like this and that.

4.

...............

 

We should write a book. Honestly, we'd make a lot of money.

 

"SD's trip to finding a girlfriend".

 

"Do it like SD".

 

[somedude81]

I'm wondering, if SD ever gets a gf, will he come here in LS and ask us what he should tell her and how to behave? Will we give him lists with what to do or not to do?

 

1. When you wake up: kiss her. Girls like that.

2. When you go out, touch her. It's romantic.

3. When you call her, talk to her like this and that.

4.

...............

 

We should write a book. Honestly, we'd make a lot of money.

 

"SD's trip to finding a girlfriend".

 

"Do it like SD".

 

 

I know that you're joking and giving me a hard time SummerDreams, but I probably should start doing something like that, but not as detailed.

 

Once I got my ex girlfriend, I stopped posting on here and I got dumped after six months. Perhaps if I had kept posting here and talked about what was happening with my ex and got advice, maybe I'd still be with her now.

[KaliLove]

I know that you're joking and giving me a hard time SummerDreams, but I probably should start doing something like that, but not as detailed.

 

Once I got my ex girlfriend, I stopped posting on here and I got dumped after six months. Perhaps if I had kept posting here and talked about what was happening with my ex and got advice, maybe I'd still be with her now.

 

Woah woah woah..did you actually just admit that MAYBE POSSIBLY THERE IS SOME SMALL CHANCE that you do take some eensy weensy bit of responsibility for your break up?

 

WOW! Big steps SD! Maybe you really are ready for a new girlfriend.

 

Drinks all around for that one. Good job buddy.

[thefooloftheyear]

I know that you're joking and giving me a hard time SummerDreams, but I probably should start doing something like that, but not as detailed.

 

Once I got my ex girlfriend, I stopped posting on here and I got dumped after six months. Perhaps if I had kept posting here and talked about what was happening with my ex and got advice, maybe I'd still be with her now.

 

If my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle...stop that shyt..

 

Dr Phil could have been in your bedroom closet coaching you all along and she'd still likely be gone...You were yourself and it wanst good enough...What are you going to do?...She flaked, wasnt into you, whatever..forget it...

 

There is no "Getting a 22 year Old Girl with Enormous Tits-for Dummies" book that I am aware of..

 

Continue on your journey...it will come

 

TFY

[KaliLove]

If my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle...stop that shyt..

 

Dr Phil could have been in your bedroom closet coaching you all along and she'd still likely be gone...You were yourself and it wanst good enough...What are you going to do?...She flaked, wasnt into you, whatever..forget it...

 

There is no "Getting a 22 year Old Girl with Enormous Tits-for Dummies" book that I am aware of..

 

Continue on your journey...it will come

 

TFY

 

Ooh..how much money do you think I'd make if I wrote that book???

[somedude81]

Oddly enough, I actually ran into B today as I was leaving the math tutoring area.

 

We said a couple of words, she said something about her car and it being in the shop, and then she called the shop right then

 

So I'm standing around waiting to talk to her, then I told her about Tango on Sunday and asked if she wants to come. Naturally she said that she'd check her schedule and let me know. Of course she's not going to contact me.

 

Right now it's looking like B is off my list. Frankly, what happened yesterday was just confusing. I don't think she was ever interested in me so I don't know why she wanted me to walk through the booths with her and then try to make plans. That was just weird.

[KaliLove]

Oddly enough, I actually ran into B today as I was leaving the math tutoring area.

 

We said a couple of words, she said something about her car and it being in the shop, and then she called the shop right then

 

So I'm standing around waiting to talk to her, then I told her about Tango on Sunday and asked if she wants to come. Naturally she said that she'd check her schedule and let me know. Of course she's not going to contact me.

 

Right now it's looking like B is off my list. Frankly, what happened yesterday was just confusing. I don't think she was ever interested in me so I don't know why she wanted me to walk through the booths with her and then try to make plans. That was just weird.

 

That's why people get to know each other before they go out on a date. She wanted to get to know you so she spent some time with you..maybe she just didn't feel a spark when you guys were walking around. Or maybe she just wanted to be friends but she got the sense that you were flirting and she wanted to nip it in the bud.

 

No sense trying to guess. Maybe one of the others will work out.

[somedude81]

That's why people get to know each other before they go out on a date. She wanted to get to know you so she spent some time with you..maybe she just didn't feel a spark when you guys were walking around. Or maybe she just wanted to be friends but she got the sense that you were flirting and she wanted to nip it in the bud.

 

No sense trying to guess. Maybe one of the others will work out.

 

There is a very good chance that the bold part is correct.

 

Most likely we got each others intentions mixed up.

 

I'm not actually interested in her yet, though I could be. But she may have decided that she thinks I'm interested and doesn't want to go there.

 

Odds are we won't end up speaking outside of class again.

 

BTW, for those who are curious, I did send a text to surfer girl a few hours ago that was very similar to the one suggested. Of course I haven't gotten a reply yet. I don't know what I want from her yet. At this point I'd just like some female company.

[SummerDreams]

SD, I am honest now (no joking) saying that if you could transfer all this sleekness you have here to the real world out there, you'd be more successful in your social life. What you should do is stop seeing every girl who talks to you as a possible gf and start seeing them as people who can be your friends. Girls understand a man who is desperate to get a gf and they don't like it. I'm sure you just have an aura of desperation on you that sends women away. Just cause you got lucky once to find a gf without trying doesn't mean it will happen over and over again.

 

(I know my words are said in vain, but I never learn with you. )

[organizedchaos]

SD, I am honest now (no joking) saying that if you could transfer all this sleekness you have here to the real world out there, you'd be more successful in your social life. What you should do is stop seeing every girl who talks to you as a possible gf and start seeing them as people who can be your friends. Girls understand a man who is desperate to get a gf and they don't like it. I'm sure you just have an aura of desperation on you that sends women away. Just cause you got lucky once to find a gf without trying doesn't mean it will happen over and over again.

 

(I know my words are said in vain, but I never learn with you. )

 

Your words are things that have been told to him over, and over, and over again but he knows better. He will deny girls can pick up on this. He will tell you what he says here he doesnt reflect his real life.

 

Yet, nothing has changed in nearly a year for him.

 

And minus those 6 very short months, nothing much has changed since 2008. Clearly he knows better than all of us.

[Teknoe]

Your words are things that have been told to him over, and over, and over again but he knows better. He will deny girls can pick up on this. He will tell you what he says here he doesnt reflect his real life.

 

Yet, nothing has changed in nearly a year for him.

 

And minus those 6 very short months, nothing much has changed since 2008. Clearly he knows better than all of us.

 

 

Honestly, I just hope he's keeping up with his calculus class. His latest post reveals that he has 4 girl interests currently? That worries me, because I get the feeling he's putting most of his energy into the "gotta get a GF before January" box and that he's falling behind in calculus.

 

Would hate to see him post in January "Hey everyone, I just didn't pass the calculus class. I guess I'll be back in college for another semester... but hey, at least it gives me another semester to try and get with a young girl :)"

 

SD, please don't let this happen to you. Don't become one of those guys that prolong college more than necessary.

[Cristo]

Honestly, I just hope he's keeping up with his calculus class. His latest post reveals that he has 4 girl interests currently? That worries me, because I get the feeling he's putting most of his energy into the "gotta get a GF before January" box and that he's falling behind in calculus.

 

Would hate to see him post in January "Hey everyone, I just didn't pass the calculus class. I guess I'll be back in college for another semester... but hey, at least it gives me another semester to try and get with a young girl :)"

 

SD, please don't let this happen to you. Don't become one of those guys that prolong college more than necessary.

 

Yeah, he needs to focus more on his career situation. He should be looking for jobs now, but, instead, he's too focused on girls. It's not like January is THAT far away.

 

Being single while you work on other aspects of your life is not the worst thing in the world.

[Teknoe]

Yeah, he needs to focus more on his career situation. He should be looking for jobs now, but, instead, he's too focused on girls. It's not like January is THAT far away.

 

Being single while you work on other aspects of your life is not the worst thing in the world.

 

Yup, January will be here before you know it.

 

Also, I worry for his sake that his four "options" aren't really options at all, but simply classmates he has a crush on. Big difference. It seems only B actually would have gone out with him on a date, but then he didn't step up in the moment and the door of opportunity shut on him.

 

The other 3 could well be non-options in reality. I remember crushing on several girls at once, and in my mind, they were options.

 

When in reality, they were just cute classmates that weren't really options.

 

Mind can trick us. Having 4 girl interests at once can be exciting, but it's all a trap to keep some folks from focusing on what's really important in the here and the now.

 

Actually, it's not the multiple girl interests that holds one back, it's always the individual. Sadly, I can kind of already see where this situation is going. One by one, reality will dictate that each "option" is crossed out... and in the meantime, studies will be neglected due to his intense focus of these "options." It could be a fatal combination come December when grades come through.

 

SD, don't let this happen to you. Having options is great, but you had better keep tabs on your calculus understanding at the forefront. All your lengthy and thought out replies on Loveshack could be time devoted to your studies instead.

 

It's an important life skill to be able to compartmentalize and prioritize. Also, to delay immediate self gratification in order to ensure your success for tomorrow. All very critical life skills that will make you a healthier man.