Becoming more picky about looks?

[Cristo]

And that's the primary reasons why I made this thread.

 

Considering who my ex was and what she looked like, I have no idea what my league is.

 

All I'm doing right now is finding out what my upper and lower limits are, and somehow trying to find somebody between them who will date me.

 

I mostly know what my lower limit is, but I'm still trying to figure out which girls are "too good" for me.

 

Your league, without any social support built up and based on your description of yourself, is not a high one man lol.

[suladas]

And yet it already did

 

Can it happen again? Perhaps.

 

Getting struck by lightening or winning the lottery has to happen to someone too......

[jay1983]

This is not necessarily true. I've successfully met women and dated women in 7/11, train stations, and bars/clubs.

 

Though, many of these women were not the average women. They were mostly foreign-born.

 

 

 

I would say that his biggest issue is being socially awkward. I actually know guys his age that do what he wants to do.

 

For example, I know this Indian guy that is short (around 5'5-5'6) and average looking. However, he's a club promoter and a very charismatic guy.

 

There's an idea, SD. Why don't you become a club promoter? I did that a while back and you'll meet tons of hot girls that way.

 

You're running the tool that's been used over and over here. You're not the first person to suggest something like this. He's rejected almost every word of advice people have given him.

 

I'm 5'11" far from ugly guy, good career, good with people, good social circle and I'm lucky if I get either one of two I mentioned.

 

He's needs to get real. Not like lower his standards a little, like lower them a lot.

[MidwestUSA]

I don't know, SD. I'm all out of suggestions.

 

Maybe you should get a tatt?

[Cristo]

You're running the tool that's been used over and over here. You're not the first person to suggest something like this. He's rejected almost every word of advice people have given him.

 

I'm 5'11" far from ugly guy, good career, good with people, good social circle and I'm lucky if I get either one of two I mentioned.

 

He's needs to get real. Not like lower his standards a little, like lower them a lot.

 

How's your social circle? Is it large? What kind of people are in it? Are you meeting new people often? Introvert or extrovert?

 

I think I saw that you're a single father in another thread. That may complicate things for sure.

[jay1983]

I don't know, SD. I'm all out of suggestions.

 

Maybe you should get a tatt?

 

On his face, that should get him some attention.

[Cristo]

I don't know, SD. I'm all out of suggestions.

 

Maybe you should get a tatt?

 

Getting a tattoo will not be his magic pill. Also, some people (such as myself) despise tattoos and still do well with women lol.

[MidwestUSA]

On his face, that should get him some attention.

 

 

 

Anything to start a conversation is good. Something meaningful on the arm perhaps.

 

 

Face? LOL, no! And no necks!

[jay1983]

How's your social circle? Is it large? What kind of people are in it? Are you meeting new people often? Introvert or extrovert?

 

I think I saw that you're a single father in another thread. That may complicate things for sure.

 

Large, but I mostly stick to my close friends from high school and holler at the others every once in a while. Only because I work, have my hobbies and just don't have the time or everybody, especially if it's a long drive. I have my son every weekend, it's never really been a problem.

 

I meet women that are interested in me every once in a while. Sometimes they flake, sometimes they don't. I'm an average to kinda good looking guy. Tough patatoes that's just the way it is.

[Lobouspo]

And yet it already did

 

Can it happen again? Perhaps.

 

But she dumped you for no apparent "reason". Any responsible person in a relationship will consider the big picture, especially women. IME, most women want a man who can provide for them. It goes back to primordial instincts, in hunter- gatherer societies when the males went hunting to provide for the women and children. Dating a man for his "potential" is outlier

[jay1983]

Anything to start a conversation is good. Something meaningful on the arm perhaps.

 

 

Face? LOL, no! And no necks!

 

I have those, they're too common, nothing real interesting. You really wanna make a statement and attract attention? The face is the new arm.

[MidwestUSA]

I have those, they're too common, nothing real interesting. You really wanna make a statement and attract attention? The face is the new arm.

 

 

 

No, just say no!

[guest569]

IME, most women want a man who can provide for them. It goes back to primordial instincts, in hunter- gatherer societies when the males went hunting to provide for the women and children. Dating a man for his "potential" is outlier

 

Correct, most either want to be provided for, or want a partnership.

 

I dont want a man to provide for me, but I am sure as hell not going to provide for a man. Unless he is my child or friend/relative in need. Im in my mid 20s, I've got my stuff together and i expect the same from a partner. I don't care if he is a cleaner, surgeon, lawyer, or burger flipper as long as he works hard and earns a living because it is a partnership.

[xxoo]

How did you come to the conclusion that I interact with a very small pool of women vs the typical guy? How many women do you think the average guy interacts with in a typical week?

 

Typical single senior in college has a bunch of classes, plus a pt job or an internship, plus will go out with friends places to meet girls throughout the week. The local pizza hangout, or to a party, or a pub, wherever there's girls. Plus a strong social circle which allows them to move in on girls they know who are recently single, get introduced to single sisters, etc.

 

Also how did you come to the conclusion that I'm pickier than most guys? I've posted my minimum requirements over an over on this forum and I'm reasoning that I'm less pickier than normal.

 

Most won't choose single for a year over dates with interested but less attractive women.

[organizedchaos]

Typical single senior in college has a bunch of classes, plus a pt job or an internship, plus will go out with friends places to meet girls throughout the week. The local pizza hangout, or to a party, or a pub, wherever there's girls. Plus a strong social circle which allows them to move in on girls they know who are recently single, get introduced to single sisters, etc..

 

Key here being "friends". I've never met anyone who didn't understand the value of same sex friends. Not necessarily a large circle, but even just a couple close friends you can talk to, get advice from, and go out with so you can meet women! And friends, whether male or female can introduce you to potential dates! And friends take the pressure off having to focus too much on a girl, and a girl doesn't want to be the sole friend you have!

 

I just don't get how you, SD, don't get this as a key feature of a happy and well balanced and well adjusted life. It will help you become more attractive to the opposite sex. But don't listen to anyone who has vastly more experience with relationships than you.

 

Of course, this advice isn't news to you. It's been repeated many, many times.

[somedude81]

It's funny how people assume I've never had a friend in my entire life.

 

Maybe the friends I did have just sucked because my guy friends never went out to meet women and were happy playing video games. Though those were mostly my high school friends.

 

I had a couple of guy friends in college but they didn't go out to meet women either, nor did I meet any women through them.

 

I never met any single girls through my female friends either. When we hung out it was just us one-on-one. I knew they had female friends but I never met them. Once I asked if a lady friend had any single friends and she pretty much told me to stay away from her friends.

 

So pretty much the only benefit I've seen to having friends is that it's somebody to spend time with and not much else.

[GorillaTheater]

So pretty much the only benefit I've seen to having friends is that it's somebody to spend time with and not much else.

 

If friendship has value only insofar as a vehicle to meet women, I imagine that's true.

 

But I also imagine that this attitude is part of the overall problem.

[organizedchaos]

I would wonder why a friend would tell you to stay away from her friends. What did she or others know that prevented them from doing this for an awesome single guy?

[xxoo]

It's funny how people assume I've never had a friend in my entire life.

 

Maybe the friends I did have just sucked because my guy friends never went out to meet women and were happy playing video games. Though those were mostly my high school friends.

 

I had a couple of guy friends in college but they didn't go out to meet women either, nor did I meet any women through them.

 

I never met any single girls through my female friends either. When we hung out it was just us one-on-one. I knew they had female friends but I never met them. Once I asked if a lady friend had any single friends and she pretty much told me to stay away from her friends.

 

So pretty much the only benefit I've seen to having friends is that it's somebody to spend time with and not much else.

 

I don't assume you've never had a friend. From what I understand (and this post seems to confirm) is that you've never had a the typical group of friends who dated women and had jobs and invited you to family dinners and stuff. Most people make these connections, show this interest and care in others, and reap the social rewards (meeting mates being just one of them).

[somedude81]

I would wonder why a friend would tell you to stay away from her friends. What did she or others know that prevented them from doing this for an awesome single guy?

 

I don't know why she said that.

 

It completely caught off guard.

 

I absolutely do not have a reputation of being bad for girls.

 

She was very conservative and a bit socially awkward as well. She was from the group of friends (mainly girls) that I met in Japanese class and we stuck together for a about two years and also hung out off-campus.

 

That's one thing that I haven't mentioned.

 

Every so often I find myself in a group of friends where I'm the only guy. I can feel that starting to happen in my dance class. It will be a group of cute girls and then me.

[somedude81]

I don't assume you've never had a friend. From what I understand (and this post seems to confirm) is that you've never had a the typical group of friends who dated women and had jobs and invited you to family dinners and stuff. Most people make these connections, show this interest and care in others, and reap the social rewards (meeting mates being just one of them).

 

I've had friends who were single, but had no interest in meeting women (probably just sucked at it) and guy friends who had a girlfriend, so they had no interest in meeting women.

 

Some had jobs, some didn't. Hell, I've had a job for a a few years when I was at college.

 

For whatever reason I never "reaped" the social rewards of having friends.

[clia]

Every so often I find myself in a group of friends where I'm the only guy. I can feel that starting to happen in my dance class. It will be a group of cute girls and then me.

 

So, you're pretty much the gay male friend, except you aren't gay.

 

Since this keeps happening to you, it seems like these girls consider you a "safe" guy to be friends with or to be friendly with, but they don't consider you an option to date. They don't view you as a sexual being,. My opinion is that it is probably due to the large age difference between you and these girls. Until you start acting interested, it may not even occur to them that you would want to date them because you are so much older.

[somedude81]

So, you're pretty much the gay male friend, except you aren't gay.

 

Since this keeps happening to you, it seems like these girls consider you a "safe" guy to be friends with or to be friendly with, but they don't consider you an option to date. They don't view you as a sexual being,. My opinion is that it is probably due to the large age difference between you and these girls. Until you start acting interested, it may not even occur to them that you would want to date them because you are so much older.

 

Bah, please stop trying say my age is the reason for everything that happens.

 

This happened when I was younger as well. I haven't always been 5+ years older than the people I'm around

 

But yes, they consider me to be a safe guy. And I'm sure it's because of how I talk and interact with them. I just don't have an edge.

[somedude81]

Ugh, I screwed up my placement in the dance lineup today and I didn't have a chance to talk to girl A at all.

 

Since I know that she is going out of town this weekend I wasn't going to ask her out, and my goal was to find out if she has a boyfriend. I'm going to hold off on that until Monday and I think I'll just ask her out.

 

Though I did use one of the methods from the "boyfriend thread" to find out that another girl I was slightly interested in has a boyfriend. I wasn't really into her so it's only a minor disappointment.

 

With the way things are going, I wouldn't be surprised if every girl I'm interested in this year has a boyfriend. And no, these girls aren't telling me a line to get rid of me.

[BlueIris]

For whatever reason I never "reaped" the social rewards of having friends.

 

How do you define those?