Becoming more picky about looks?

[somedude81]

It's the same way for me Somedude.

 

In fact, I've already been rejected in October.

 

You take calculated risks, but you take them often. If you think there is any chance, you take a swing. You don't take swings at women who you obviously don't mesh with, attached women, really hot women who are 3 inches taller, etc. Common sense.

 

Using this method, I still expect rejection the vast majority. Most people, especially women, don't know what that's like, and it's tough, but at this point I'm pretty jaded to it.

 

I would say the average woman has rejected around 200+ men easily most of whom are totally decent dudes (just not their type), so it's just kind of a numbers game. More swings you take, more hits you'll get.

 

Well yeah, I am taking calculated risks. I'm not going to ask out every single girl I see. But if a girl seems to enjoy talking to me, why not ask her out? Maybe I'll get lucky. The only thing that I know is that waiting around for the girl to make the first move is almost guaranteed to fail.

[Phoe]

 

You take calculated risks, but you take them often. If you think there is any chance, you take a swing. You don't take swings at women who you obviously don't mesh with, attached women, really hot women who are 3 inches taller, etc.

 

I would say the average woman has rejected around 200+ men easily most of whom are totally decent dudes (just not their type), so it's just kind of a numbers game. More swings you take, more hits you'll get.

 

Why not bother with taller women? I'm a tad on the taller than average side and I would hope that men wouldn't decide not to bother simply because of that!

 

I am an average woman and I have rejected 2 men in my life. One simply because I was already seeing someone and don't multidate, the other because he was a total sleaze about it.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Why not bother with taller women? I'm a tad on the taller than average side and I would hope that men wouldn't decide not to bother simply because of that!

 

I am an average woman and I have rejected 2 men in my life. One simply because I was already seeing someone and don't multidate, the other because he was a total sleaze about it.

 

That doesn't mesh with what I see in real life at all.

 

I ask out women from below average to cute who I am getting along with all the time, and not only do they reject me, the trad and apathetic way in which they do it and the common and practiced lines leads me to believe they do it all the time.

 

And it makes sense. I'm not even super aggressive. So that means more aggressive men are asking women out even more often.

 

You have had this conversation with other men here b4. Your experiences don't mesh with what we see.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Well yeah, I am taking calculated risks. I'm not going to ask out every single girl I see. But if a girl seems to enjoy talking to me, why not ask her out? Maybe I'll get lucky. The only thing that I know is that waiting around for the girl to make the first move is almost guaranteed to fail.

 

About the swinging blindly stuff, it easier to see when women are not interested than when they are interested.

 

The majority of women have to rebuff a substantial amount of men, so they have built in things they do to hint, "Not you, buddy."

 

I look for those, but sometimes I take a swing if I see them anyway.

 

My only real rule is I'll never allow myself to become friends and fall for a woman before she rejects me.

[Phoe]

You have had this conversation with other men here b4. Your experiences don't mesh with what we see.

 

But it IS what you see. You see it right here, right now, and I'm not the only one on this forum. Time and time again my experiences and the similar experiences others have on this forum get discredited. I often get "You don't count" or "that's so rare its not worth mentioning" or even "you're lying and just a troll".

 

If even after women can time and time again speak about their experiences here and still get told "well I just don't see it" then it's simply because you're choosing not to see it.

 

SD, swing away.

[GorillaTheater]

But it IS what you see. You see it right here, right now, and I'm not the only one on this forum. Time and time again my experiences and the similar experiences others have on this forum get discredited. I often get "You don't count" or "that's so rare its not worth mentioning" or even "you're lying and just a troll".

 

If even after women can time and time again speak about their experiences here and still get told "well I just don't see it" then it's simply because you're choosing not to see it.

 

Exactly. I dated taller, and I've certainly dated far better-looking than myself.

[somedude81]

A woman's height is a tricky thing.

 

I actually agree with JuneJulySeptember that three inches taller is a good cut off point.

 

Since I'm 5'6, that would be a cutoff at 5'9. Any taller than that then the girl just towers over me.

 

Also it's really awkward to dance with a girl who is more than few inches taller than me.

[somedude81]

 

Didn't you spend quite a bit of time lamenting the fate of the short man on that thread?

 

Which thread? And what do you mean by lamenting?

[guest569]

I find it pretty stupid that men would avoid women who are "3 inches taller" or rule out anyone they perceive as being out of their league.. To me, if someone takes your interest then go for it rather than standing around literally sizing her up.

[Cristo]

I find it pretty stupid that men would avoid women who are "3 inches taller" or rule out anyone they perceive as being out of their league.. To me, if someone takes your interest then go for it rather than standing around literally sizing her up.

 

I've dated women greater than 3 inches taller than me. So it is possible, despite popular belief.

[CrystalCastles]

Phoe, you are definitely a rare one. Even so, this whole issue of height has never come up in my life of dating.

 

Oh please. No she's not, and its obvious based on her posts she finds this irritating to read (and its entirely justified). I'm 5 - 6 inches taller than my boyfriend. That doesn't make me a freak of nature because height is absolutely irrelevant to me. Phoe isn't a freak of nature because she doesn't care about these details either.

 

I see taller women with shorter men in my city often. Just because you're not seeing them in your city doesn't mean there are women out there who don't care about little details like height. Phoe isn't the only one who doesn't give a fig about this. There are many women, so maybe people on this thread should stop painting all women with a broad brush. This is just as annoying to read about as those penis threads where every woman supposedly wants a huge schlong the size of an arm.

[guest569]

There are many women, so maybe people on this thread should stop painting all women with a broad brush. This is just as annoying to read about as those penis threads where every woman supposedly wants a huge schlong the size of an arm.

 

I find it funny but frustrating that some of the men on these forums know better than us about women's issues and what we want in a man. Usually the same men that are anti feminists. It's all so clear cut and one rule applies to everything. All the women on here are lying or one of a kind? Please.

[Cristo]

No one ever used the term freak of nature here. Just you. Calling someone rare isn't an insult, but freak of nature definitely sounds like one. When I mention that I think Phoe's views on this sort of thing are rare, it's because in my years of meeting women I have met few like her. I meant it as a compliment.

 

 

 

Basically what you are saying is that when a few women get on an Internet forum and say one thing, then a man's entire life experience to the contrary must be wrong.

 

My GF admits she wouldn't date a guy much shorter than she is.

 

My ex wife is a tall woman, an inch taller than me. She said she wouldn't date a guy shorter than I was.

 

Why does the cliche say a woman wants a guy that's "tall, dark, and handsome"

 

Every guy who has ever spent some time with OLD can testify there are a ton of women's profiles that say they require a guy that's at least 6' tall.

 

One of my best friends is a short guy. I have tried to set him up with a few women, and some of them have come right out and said he's too short.

 

Maybe you date shorter guys and that's cool. That doesn't mean that every tall woman out there will happily date a guy significantly shorter than she is. I know it's pretty rare for me to see a couple where the woman is significantly taller than her man.

 

 

 

I don't know where you came up with any of this stuff so I'm not sure how to respond to it.

 

While, as a short guy, I have dated women taller than me, I would say that this is a very true-to-life response.

 

It IS possible, of course, but it doesn't happen very often.

[Anela]

 

Basically what you are saying is that when a few women get on an Internet forum and say one thing, then a man's entire life experience to the contrary must be wrong.

 

Men do the same thing to us. And this isn't a strawman argument - it's one of the things that's so frustrating.

 

My GF admits she wouldn't date a guy much shorter than she is.

 

Neither would I, but I'm 5'2.

[Anela]

I find it funny but frustrating that some of the men on these forums know better than us about women's issues and what we want in a man. Usually the same men that are anti feminists. It's all so clear cut and one rule applies to everything. All the women on here are lying or one of a kind? Please.

 

Agreed. I've been told that I'm an exception, and I've also been called a liar, or accused of just wanting to complain - and all of this has come from men who are having trouble with women. Men who don't care to listen to women who have tried to help them.

[CrystalCastles]

Didn't you see what Phoe wrote? Phoe writes responses to these kinds of posts often, this isn't the first time someone just swiped her opinion aside because she is "rare", to continue his complaining. I totally get where she's coming from- its infuriating to take the time to post, only to see people gloss over your post and say "yeah well, you're "rare" so your opinion doesn't really matter". I've had that kind of response to my posts and I understand how Phoe feels.

 

Your posts, and those similar, come off as "wow, that girl likes short guys? Weeeeird".

 

Yep, I was right about you invalidating my argument, and that of Phoe's. You say "when a few women get on an Internet forum and say one thing, then a man's entire life experience to the contrary must be wrong". Nope, but my experience, that of Phoe's and that of girls similar is not any worse or less important than yours. We're people too, we have life experience too. If anything, it is you and guys like you who say "well, you like short guys, and that's not been my experience so I'm just going to pass over your post". You make it seem like OUR life experiences are wrong.

 

Your GF doesn't represent the views of all women. Stop speaking for all women. We can speak for ourselves, thanks.

 

Tall dark and handsome? Huh, all the blond men in this world must be single then. All the ugly men too. Funny, I see ugly men and blond men with successful dating lives all the time. I must be living on a different planet.

 

OLD doesn't at all represent the real world.

 

Its like I said in the penis thread: there's a size for everyone. Not every woman wants or needs a guy many inches taller than her. There are plenty of women who don't care- you're probably just not looking.

 

 

No one ever used the term freak of nature here. Just you. Calling someone rare isn't an insult, but freak of nature definitely sounds like one. When I mention that I think Phoe's views on this sort of thing are rare, it's because in my years of meeting women I have met few like her. I meant it as a compliment.

 

Basically what you are saying is that when a few women get on an Internet forum and say one thing, then a man's entire life experience to the contrary must be wrong.

 

My GF admits she wouldn't date a guy much shorter than she is.

 

My ex wife is a tall woman, an inch taller than me. She said she wouldn't date a guy shorter than I was.

 

Why does the cliche say a woman wants a guy that's "tall, dark, and handsome"

 

Every guy who has ever spent some time with OLD can testify there are a ton of women's profiles that say they require a guy that's at least 6' tall.

 

One of my best friends is a short guy. I have tried to set him up with a few women, and some of them have come right out and said he's too short.

 

Maybe you date shorter guys and that's cool. That doesn't mean that every tall woman out there will happily date a guy significantly shorter than she is. I know it's pretty rare for me to see a couple where the woman is significantly taller than her man.

[MidwestUSA]

I've certainly dated far better-looking than myself.

 

 

 

With THAT mug, I reckon so!!

[irc333]

Chances are, if you see a woman dating a shorter man, she didn't meet him online. Though I have met my share of women that had a height restriction either on or offline though.

 

I recall having this female friend that had 2 female, single friends that she knew of. I suggest she introduce me and she's like "Sorry, they only date tall men".

[Cristo]

Chances are, if you see a woman dating a shorter man, she didn't meet him online. Though I have met my share of women that had a height restriction either on or offline though.

 

I recall having this female friend that had 2 female, single friends that she knew of. I suggest she introduce me and she's like "Sorry, they only date tall men".

 

I realize that this is a bit off-topic, but this is exactly why I advocate short guys (like myself and SD) going overseas.

 

While most women in the US (and most other western countries) view height as extremely important, women in non-western countries don't care about it nearly as much.

[irc333]

I realize that this is a bit off-topic, but this is exactly why I advocate short guys (like myself and SD) going overseas.

 

 

Yeah, Filipina's specifically because they are like 4'10" dolls. You can't go wrong with that height as a 5'5" short man.

[the tank]

I realize that this is a bit off-topic, but this is exactly why I advocate short guys (like myself and SD) going overseas.

 

While most women in the US (and most other western countries) view height as extremely important, women in non-western countries don't care about it nearly as much.

 

My korean ex care about the height. Same as her friend. maybe tall is not as much as here but it was important !

[thefooloftheyear]

Chances are, if you see a woman dating a shorter man, she didn't meet him online. Though I have met my share of women that had a height restriction either on or offline though.

 

I recall having this female friend that had 2 female, single friends that she knew of. I suggest she introduce me and she's like "Sorry, they only date tall men".

 

 

If you havent learned already that women say one thing and do another, then you dont know most women well enough...

 

TFY

[somedude81]

I can't believe I'm saying this, but this thread isn't about height.

 

There's a whole height thread to talk about stuff like this.

 

Please continue the discussion there.

[Cristo]

My korean ex care about the height. Same as her friend. maybe tall is not as much as here but it was important !

 

Korea doesn't count lol.

 

Personally, I don't find Korean girls very attractive so I've never dated them, but I heard they are very westernized.

[Cristo]

If you havent learned already that women say one thing and do another, then you dont know most women well enough...

 

TFY

 

I agree. Yes, you watch their actions, not their words, but how many women do you see dating shorter men?

 

Not many.