Becoming more picky about looks?

[Cristo]

I can't believe I'm saying this, but this thread isn't about height.

 

There's a whole height thread to talk about stuff like this.

 

Please continue the discussion there.

 

You're a short guy. Any dating trouble that you have is at least partially related to your height.

 

So this thread is technically about height, to a degree.

[thefooloftheyear]

I agree. Yes, you watch their actions, not their words, but how many women do you see dating shorter men?

 

Not many.

 

Plenty....As a shorter guy, I have been with women as tall as 5'11"....So has my brother, many of the guys in my family and tons of other shorter guys...

 

Maybe we should take the OP's lead and not let this become a short guy clusterfck...

 

TFY

[Cristo]

Plenty....As a shorter guy, I have been with women as tall as 5'11"....So has my brother, many of the guys in my family and tons of other shorter guys...

 

Maybe we should take the OP's lead and not let this become a short guy clusterfck...

 

TFY

 

I'm a short guy too and I've dated taller women.

 

But if you go out in public, to see a couple where the guy is shorter is very rare.

[GemmaUK]

SD.

 

Change your behaviour and your attitude will change.

 

You have a very negative attitude on here. It will come across IRL too.

 

Your attitude will not change until your behaviour does.

[somedude81]

SD.

 

Change your behaviour and your attitude will change.

 

You have a very negative attitude on here. It will come across IRL too.

 

Your attitude will not change until your behaviour does.

 

What do you think my behavior is like when I'm around women?

[Anela]

If you havent learned already that women say one thing and do another, then you dont know most women well enough...

 

TFY

 

Try not speaking for all of us.

 

Thanks.

[thefooloftheyear]

Try not speaking for all of us.

 

Thanks.

 

 

Try giving it a rest already.........

 

People can relay their life experiences without having to qualify every comment as if it were a legal document.....Just assume you dont apply and leave it at that...

 

And I stand my statement...in my personal experience..

 

TFY

[GemmaUK]

What do you think my behavior is like when I'm around women?

 

I don't know.

But I know you are negative on here so some of that if not all will show IRL.

 

Behaviour in total...in your life is what I am talking about.

 

Women are attracted by total behaviour and attitude

 

But change your behaviour and your attitude will change.

[somedude81]

I don't know.

But I know you are negative on here so some of that if not all will show IRL.

 

Behaviour in total...in your life is what I am talking about.

 

Women are attracted by total behaviour and attitude

 

But change your behaviour and your attitude will change.

 

I don't understand what you are talking about.

 

You previous post said that I had "negative attitude on here." You also said "Change your behaviour and your attitude will change."

 

Though I don't know what you mean to change my behavior from what to what.

[GemmaUK]

Try new things and you won't hate them or disregard them so much..or people.

 

If you open up yourself to new ideas and activities your excuses and angst will decrease.

 

Forget dating...just try a new something that scares you/challenges you.

You may need to try a few things...try 'em. Find something new that you have a passion for..a new passion will make you happier.

You sound miserable aside from salsa. Did you join salsa to meet women? Bet you did!

Find a hiking club or a rock climbing club. Become different SD!

[JuneJulySeptember]

But it IS what you see. You see it right here, right now, and I'm not the only one on this forum. Time and time again my experiences and the similar experiences others have on this forum get discredited. I often get "You don't count" or "that's so rare its not worth mentioning" or even "you're lying and just a troll".

 

If even after women can time and time again speak about their experiences here and still get told "well I just don't see it" then it's simply because you're choosing not to see it.

 

SD, swing away.

 

Yea. And there's somebody with a degree from Harvard who works retail somewhere. But rest assured, it is not the norm for people who graduate from there.

 

What are you trying to say? That the average women doesn't have a lot of men interested in them? You will never get me to believe that.

 

Most do. That's pretty clear to me. Why do you think that men believe you are a troll?

 

You're not really helping the cause by telling young men that women are dying for men to ask them out. It's really not the case in real life.

Edited October 4, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember

[Phoe]

 

You're not really helping the cause by telling young men that women are dying for men to ask them out. It's really not the case in real life.

 

At no point did I say women are dying for men to ask them out. That's your own exaggeration there.

 

I'm just saying that the concept of women being constantly bombarded by men trying to date them, is also an exaggeration.

 

How often do you see women on this site saying "oh man I get asked out everyday. Hundreds of men have pursued me! There are so many men after me right this minute I can't even choose and I beat them off with sticks!" Lol that is not something you see on this site.

 

What you do see is women who get average amounts of interest from men, and the handful of us who have had a harder time.

 

But by all means, I'm wrong. I'm totally wrong and every other women who isn't bombarded by men, is just wrong. Lol.

 

I don't say that I don't get pursued just to blow smoke up people's asses. I say it in hopes that the next time a man chooses not to ask a girl out because he assumes there are already 50 men after her, to stop thinking that way and go ahead and go for it, because there's a chance he's wrong, and that she isn't constantly hounded, and that asking her out might make her day and get him a date.

 

And with that said, I think that SD should do as much pursuing as he possibly can.

[JuneJulySeptember]

 

I don't say that I don't get pursued just to blow smoke up people's asses. I say it in hopes that the next time a man chooses not to ask a girl out because he assumes there are already 50 men after her, to stop thinking that way and go ahead and go for it, because there's a chance he's wrong, and that she isn't constantly hounded, and that asking her out might make her day and get him a date.

 

And with that said, I think that SD should do as much pursuing as he possibly can.

 

I didn't exaggerate the first time.

 

200 rejections is what, 20 a year for 10 years? I could easily see the average women rejecting that many men.

 

I don't think men think that the average woman is bombarded with 50 men at a time. Just that she probably will reject him. And more often than not, it is true.

[xxoo]

I didn't exaggerate the first time.

 

200 rejections is what, 20 a year for 10 years? I could easily see the average women rejecting that many men.

 

It depends on what you consider an offer

 

Invitations for a proper date are far rarer than that.

[Phoe]

I didn't exaggerate the first time.

 

200 rejections is what, 20 a year for 10 years? I could easily see the average women rejecting that many men.

 

It might be a reasonable number for very desirable women, but for average it still seems wildly high. That's nearly once every two weeks.

 

I've been asked out a total of 8 times in 10 years. A little less than once a year is how it averages out. 2 of those got rejected.

 

I'd imagine an average woman who gets pursued more often than I, would get maybe 4 times a year. So about 40 times in that 10 years. And that surely wouldn't end up in 40 rejections, she'd surely accept plenty.

[JuneJulySeptember]

It might be a reasonable number for very desirable women, but for average it still seems wildly high. That's nearly once every two weeks.

 

I've been asked out a total of 8 times in 10 years. A little less than once a year is how it averages out. 2 of those got rejected.

 

I'd imagine an average woman who gets pursued more often than I, would get maybe 4 times a year. So about 40 times in that 10 years. And that surely wouldn't end up in 40 rejections, she'd surely accept plenty.

 

There'd be some variation and 40 might be legit for some, but 'she'd surely accept plenty'? Eh, no.

 

I believe the vast majority of the time women are secretly praying that man they are talking to will NOT ask them out, so they won't have to deal with rejecting him.

[somedude81]

It might be a reasonable number for very desirable women, but for average it still seems wildly high. That's nearly once every two weeks.

 

I've been asked out a total of 8 times in 10 years. A little less than once a year is how it averages out. 2 of those got rejected.

 

I'd imagine an average woman who gets pursued more often than I, would get maybe 4 times a year. So about 40 times in that 10 years. And that surely wouldn't end up in 40 rejections, she'd surely accept plenty.

 

It depends on what you consider getting asked out.

 

If a guy you knew of said, "Hey Phoe, do you want to get lunch/dinner together?" Would you consider that him asking you out?

 

Or does he have to use, "Would you go on a date with me?"

[Eternal Sunshine]

I get properly asked out less than once a year. It was like this when I was younger too. I guess I must be far below average looking

[Phoe]

It depends on what you consider getting asked out.

 

If a guy you knew of said, "Hey Phoe, do you want to get lunch/dinner together?" Would you consider that him asking you out?

 

Yes, that counts as being asked out

[somedude81]

Yes, that counts as being asked out

 

OK cool.

 

I actually thought you were going to say no. That it's just being friendly.

 

Now that I think about it. I already invited a girl to have lunch with me after class. But she turned me down because she had to rush off to work.

 

I wonder if she knew that I was asking her out.

 

Perhaps I should be more direct if I try again with her. I already have an idea of how the interaction could go.

[Phoe]

OK cool.

 

I actually thought you were going to say no. That it's just being friendly.

 

Now that I think about it. I already invited a girl to have lunch with me after class. But she turned me down because she had to rush off to work.

 

I wonder if she knew that I was asking her out.

 

Perhaps I should be more direct if I try again with her. I already have an idea of how the interaction could go.

 

Nah. If I'm being asked out one on one, I'm gonna assume it's a date, even if the word date is never mentioned.

[suladas]

I get properly asked out less than once a year. It was like this when I was younger too. I guess I must be far below average looking

 

Will you go out with me beautiful?

 

That's one for you

[somedude81]

I get properly asked out less than once a year. It was like this when I was younger too. I guess I must be far below average looking

 

It's not about looks at all. It's about approachability.

[the tank]

It might be a reasonable number for very desirable women, but for average it still seems wildly high. That's nearly once every two weeks.

 

I've been asked out a total of 8 times in 10 years. A little less than once a year is how it averages out. 2 of those got rejected.

 

I'd imagine an average woman who gets pursued more often than I, would get maybe 4 times a year. So about 40 times in that 10 years. And that surely wouldn't end up in 40 rejections, she'd surely accept plenty.

 

Maybe it's where you lived ?

[bene]

What are you trying to say? That the average women doesn't have a lot of men interested in them? You will never get me to believe that.

 

Most do. That's pretty clear to me. Why do you think that men believe you are a troll?

 

This reasoning gets thrown around so much here and it never stops to baffle me. It seems to assume that there are considerably less women than men and that is simply not true.

 

There is roughly equal amount of men and women in the world. How is it possible, that an average women can have a lot of men interested in her at any given time? If a lot of men are interested in one woman, there must be a lot of women who don't get the attention. Because, you know, a lot of men are interested in this mythical "average woman".

 

Sure, men can be interested in more than one woman at a time but if things get more serious, they will couple with one woman, making our "average woman" to lose one man interested in her.

 

Sorry, the math simply doesn't add up, I am not convinced.