Am I Being Cheated?

[suspiciousness]

We're living together for 2 years.

 

She likes to drink on weekends, which is fine as we both work. However when she is drunk, the stories that she tells from the past is different (worse) than the same story that she tells when she is sober. She also looks at her ex boyfriends's facebook pages etc. when she is drunk.

 

Recently I noticed that she talks a lot with this colleague. She goes to work early on most days and some days she would skip as she did not need to prepare for that day. Now she goes to her job early (about an hour early). She told me that usually there is only him and her in the morning.

 

I started to act really nice to her (getting her little gifts etc) and I also noticed that she has become very not in the mood for sex. Last time we had sex was 9 days ago.

 

Sometimes my partner texts me about the things that they talk in the morning, like she asked me something that she wouldn't ever use (in the morning) and then when I asked her why she asked, she told me because "someone else" asked her opinion in the morning.

 

Another thing is when I am coming home lately, she says stuff like she had a doctor appointment that she forgot, then she goes to the doctor appointment at 5 PM but comes back home at 7:30 PM (the appointment takes 30 mins)

 

Up until I was not suspicious, but I checked her phone and she has some contacts named weirly like abc, cc, ee and so on. Also she receives private number calls while she is at work. Also recently I got her jewellery and the day after she came home, her mouth smelled like semen and she said her neck hurts that she cannot move her head, which is the point where I am now thinking she is really screwing with this guy

 

I cannot believe this because I am a migrant and had no intention to stay, because she asked me, I decided to stay (despite the fact that I am not working in my dream job as the industry is not advanced enough). She told me she wants to get married with me and she cannot do anything without me. She tells me she loves me. It's really hard to believe, because if she's cheating on me that's really mean. I mean, if you had that intention why would you ask me to stay with you and plan a future? I don't know what to do now because I even rejected my parents for her.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

She has emotional attachment and probably some issues that are deep. This will be a problem for the both of you. She needs some help, if she is not able to open up more about what is going on. Obviously she is not telling the truth, and looks to me that you are willing to fill the gap, while others she has been with have not stayed.

 

The drinking is one issue that will not stop until she has dealt with her issues.

 

Sorry to say this but if you truly think she has love for you, your miss guiding yourself. I don't think she can love someone at this time in her life. She is too needy to allow proper love.

[suspiciousness]

She has emotional attachment and probably some issues that are deep. This will be a problem for the both of you. She needs some help, if she is not able to open up more about what is going on. Obviously she is not telling the truth, and looks to me that you are willing to fill the gap, while others she has been with have not stayed.

 

The drinking is one issue that will not stop until she has dealt with her issues.

 

Sorry to say this but if you truly think she has love for you, your miss guiding yourself. I don't think she can love someone at this time in her life. She is too needy to allow proper love.

 

The problem is, she was very clear about these issues. She has told me all of her boyfriends were abusive and I also know other out of relationship issues that she is having. We have tried to break up before and she cried and promised me stuff that only happened for the following 15-20 days. At that time we both promised not to hide ANYTHING from each other.

 

She tells me that drinking relaxes her and a way of saying TGIF. The issue is she drinks a whole bottle (32oz, 700 ml) vodka on her own and stays up till 5 AM, I try to stay awake with her but I can only manage if I could just drink one or two glasses of spirit.

 

In the past I had relationships, where gfs just tell me that they love me forever and when we break up they'd just find someone else in a month and tell me their relationship is much better. But I never lived with them, this one feels so special because I literally gave up everything (career wise and my own family wise). I thought I was a strong man but now when I look at myself in the mirror I see nothing but a 6 month old crying baby.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

The problem is, she was very clear about these issues. She has told me all of her boyfriends were abusive and I also know other out of relationship issues that she is having. We have tried to break up before and she cried and promised me stuff that only happened for the following 15-20 days. At that time we both promised not to hide ANYTHING from each other.

 

She tells me that drinking relaxes her and a way of saying TGIF. The issue is she drinks a whole bottle (32oz, 700 ml) vodka on her own and stays up till 5 AM, I try to stay awake with her but I can only manage if I could just drink one or two glasses of spirit.

 

In the past I had relationships, where gfs just tell me that they love me forever and when we break up they'd just find someone else in a month and tell me their relationship is much better. But I never lived with them, this one feels so special because I literally gave up everything (career wise and my own family wise). I thought I was a strong man but now when I look at myself in the mirror I see nothing but a 6 month old crying baby.

 

Like I said she needs professional help... Did not understand she was abused. Love no matter how deep and powerful will not bring a broken person back to normal. They need to pull themselves out of what binds them. She is too needy to properly love you, all you are doing is enabling her dependency of feeling wanted. I am surprised she has not tried to get you to be abusive in some way. As many abused peeps are caught believing that abuse shows love and caring. Example, if you show that you care enough to show anger, that is accepted more than you think.

 

Your not getting a healthy relationship from this, and it is time you realized it.

[smackie9]

You need actual proof before confronting her. We can't tell you if she is or not unfortunately. Some would say to check her phone messages, emails, FB, etc. I would get a friend to follow her and see if she has been sneeking off to see him.

 

Her issues could run deep, or she is just not realizing she is heading down the wrong path. Even good people will find themselves in a bad situation.

[tom670]

Get a good voice activated recorder put it in her car and keep one at your place hopefully you get some answers that way.

[Dork Vader]

The stories she is telling when drunk are likely complete honesty. I've dated people who have done this. Basically when they are sober you get partial truths that do not make them look as bad. When they are drunk more of the truth comes out.

 

 

She has most of the signs that she is cheating. She is sexually distant, She has suddenly changed her schedule. Those are two big signs cheating is going on.

 

 

How has she been emotionally? Is she emotionally stable and consistent or are you getting mixed signals. If you tell her "I love you" how does she respond?

 

 

How frequent are the doctor appointments? Unless it is with a therapist or she has some serious medical issues going on. Weekly appointments are not common. Is she disappearing frequently?

 

 

Semen Breath is well semen breath. Not a whole lot will make her mouth smell like that. Tack on the sore neck... Fairly confident we know what happened.

 

 

You don't have concrete evidence yet. So you need to get that. When you suspect she is seeing the other guy have a friend see if she is doing what she says.

 

 

Stay on your game and do not let her know you suspect she is cheating. If she thinks you know or are on to her she will likely take a break from it and/or hide it better.

[No Limit]

Semen breath? I hope you didn't kiss her mouth ever since you noticed.

 

C'mon, you know that she's cheating. With evidence like that - what else do you want? Do they have to invite you for coffee and then tell you in detail what they did, maybe a performance to show you afterwards?

 

Seriously. She'll drink and cheat her whole life. Deal with it, or break up.

[mightycpa]

Semen breath to help you detect cheating. One more good reason for women to swallow.

 

It's not like you think it is chocolate, but it is really carob. There's not much in this world that it might be other than a sperm shooter. Sounds like an easy decision to me.

[ja123]

OP, her behavior is extremely suspect. Even if she's not cheating, the fact that she's giving you 2 different stories when drunk and when sober is a major red flag. She clearly has several issues that have not been resolved (abusive former relationships, alcohol consumption), and this does not make her a safe bet to proceed with for any further investment or commitment on your part.

 

 

No wonder your confidence is shot.

 

 

I understand how you could feel like a 6-month old crying baby.

 

 

You could go to the trouble of a voice-activated recorder, but is it really worth the bother? Even if you didn't find anything, could you really trust her?

 

 

IMO, the only to feel like your confident, secure, adult self is to line up your ducks to move out, a.s.a.p.

 

 

Your gut is telling you something. Listen to it.