I Don't understand ?

[mimi]

I have been going back and fourth with my husband who has hurt me many times and deeply.

 

we have been trying to fix things , and he said he realized how his flirting gets him into trouble and understands now how he has hurt me.

 

Just last week I agreed to have him back here and try to work on rebuilding the trust that was destroyed on his part.

 

I was putting his things away and found a number I asked him about it and he automatically lied about it , and then he called back to say he had meet her in the bar one night and they exchanged #'s .

 

I am having a very hard time with this because If he could go out and do something at a time when he is scared that he is losing everything , and knowing to make things right i need to feel i am able to trust him again , what will stop him from doing it when we have a fight or something ?

 

am i just a fool to think he will ever stop hurting me ?

 

He says he did it because he was lonely , but I have been lonely for many years but cared more about our family to do something to f--- it up !

 

could there be a mental reason for him not being able to make the right choices ? He keeps doing things to f--- up his life and mine and then wants to kill himself over it .

 

Could someone help me understand ?

 

I love him , but I don't want to be hurt anymore.

[Tony T]

I'm not really understanding what the two of you have here. Both of you are lonely. That's not usually the result of a happy marriage.

 

How can you screw something up that's already ruined.

 

You need to cut your losses short and move on. You say you've been lonely for many years but wanted to keep the family together. What for??? Being in a bad relationship and being unhappy isn't doing you family any favors at all.

 

You are living in a pretty pitiful situation. Talk to friends and other family members and see what other options are open to you.

 

See an attorney and see what your legal rights are here. You are much better living alone or with your children than with a cheating butthole who makes you miserable.

 

Snap out of it. Nobody is going to do this for you!!!