If I can make it through today

[b52srock]

Well, today marks exactly one year since he moved out. Needless to say, I've got a screaming headache and all I want to do is go back to bed. I honestly haven't felt this bad in weeks.

 

In my mind my strength is strong, but today is just going to be one of those days when I replay his walking out the door over and over in my head. I can still see the tears in his eyes, I can still hear myself telling him to remember that I love him.

 

What I should have said was "stay".

 

But I didn't, and in some ways, I'm very glad I didn't. Finding out that his affair has been going on for a lot longer than I thought it had, the way he's basically abandoned his children in order to spend time with his wh*re, how he's shut out his family and friends....a completely different person than I thought he was.

 

Doesn't make today any easier to deal with. I had made plans to go out of town today just so I wouldn't have to be here alone, but that was ended when the children asked to do other things themselves, leaving me to sit here at home in case they need me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not angry or upset, my children come absolutely first, just a little disappointed is all.

 

I know he won't bother to come over to the house and talk. His way is to avoid any confrontation or any real communication. Yes, I'd like for him to at least acknowledge today, but I know he won't. I do, however, hope that he's at least thinking about it on his own. Doubtful, because its the weekend and she's in town once again.

 

At least he's got someone to make him feel better.

[Ladyjane14]

What a yucky anniversary.

 

Maybe you should pamper yourself a little today. Get out of the house, treat yourself to a manicure or some other self-indulgent thing. That is, when your headache gets better.

 

Your STBX is going to do his thing, and he's not going to worry himself at this point if it hurts your feelings or not. He's caught up in his own emotions for now, and can't be bothered with anybody else's.

 

It's important for you to be your own best friend for awhile. Do for yourself today what you would recommend to a good friend in the same position. Make this day all about being good to YOU.

 

Hey, and why not do the same tomorrow? What the heck!

[kimizmat]

I'm really sorry. It's only been three months since my H left and it is so hard. I do agree, you should do something really special for yourself. It makes me feel a little better. Go get a pedicure or have your hair done. It sounds trivial, but it does help.

[sjs61]

Hang in there, right, my H left 7 mos ago and I finally got the picture. I stopped crying. I just don't know how you deal with it but the only way is your way. This is what I had to do. All the people in the world don't have your answers EXCEPT your husband.

Your sex must be boring if he left. Your nagging must of made him leave. It doesn't matter the reasons cause he left. Its his problem not yours. At least, just talk about it as many times until you get bored. I did.