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Loving yourself does wonders.

Johnsmith1003

By Johnsmith1003,
in Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being

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Johnsmith1003

Johnsmith1003

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I've come to find loving yourself does wonders for you. I've always been self-critical, ashamed, and blameworthy of everything negative happened to me. Somehow, someway, I was guilty of whatever was going on. I was very hard on myself and had no self respect or dignity.

 

Now, since the past several weeks, I found all this quickly healing. All too often do people blame themselves and if you won't love yourself first, you may be eternally doomed internally. I find positives in everything I find myself screwing up on, remind myself I'm only human. It builds confidence rather rapidly, and there's finally a calm peacefulness within me. I have more patience, look at things much differently and criticisms turn constructive. One must also remember anger is only there as a cry for help, nothing undesired. You own up to anger, and do whatever is needed to preserve peacefulness.

 

Reflect.

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M30USA

M30USA

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I've come to find loving yourself does wonders for you. I've always been self-critical, ashamed, and blameworthy of everything negative happened to me. Somehow, someway, I was guilty of whatever was going on. I was very hard on myself and had no self respect or dignity.

 

Now, since the past several weeks, I found all this quickly healing. All too often do people blame themselves and if you won't love yourself first, you may be eternally doomed internally. I find positives in everything I find myself screwing up on, remind myself I'm only human. It builds confidence rather rapidly, and there's finally a calm peacefulness within me. I have more patience, look at things much differently and criticisms turn constructive. One must also remember anger is only there as a cry for help, nothing undesired. You own up to anger, and do whatever is needed to preserve peacefulness.

 

Reflect.

 

I would agree with you; as l

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Johnsmith1003

Johnsmith1003

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Yes!

 

Post tips please?

 

Love myself???

 

I do not even "like" myself!:eek::confused:

 

well let's see, first start by promising yourself that you are going to do better. You yourself are the only person on the planet who can truly and faithfully back your own self up at any time. If there is an injustice you must react to your anger in response to that injustice to make it justified. Be your own friend and if something doesn't feel right, let it be known in any way you can. Don't sit on your grudges but rather act out upon your anger so excuse yourself from indiscretion and realize that past mistakes are just mistakes and can no longer be fixed in the present. Live on the now. Forgive yourself for all your wrongdoing in the past and find positivity in everything that becomes negative in your life.stand to what you believe in and don't take no for an answerdon't let anyone walk all over you and do things only for yourself and not for others if you don't desire. Stop beating yourself up every time something goes wrong because most of the time it isn't your fault. Embrace your imperfections because we all cannot be perfect and keep in mind everyone on the planet has a problem or two. We're not all exempt.

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Johnsmith1003

Johnsmith1003

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This sounds great, good for you!

If you don't mind, can you share a few tips on how you practice loving yourself?

 

Let's assume a hypothetical scenario. A roomate is furious you didn't remember doimg tge dishes on Monday. You know you always forget, but unintentionally. Instead of nodding and feeling ashamed, you defend yourself. Sure it may truly be your fault but in no way let it consume you. Acknowledge it's your responsibility, and realize you maybe DID make a mistake but explain WHY. Snap back saying "maybe its appossibility my memory doesn't work quite as the same as others, at times?" Realize you're human. Nothing should cripple ypu. Defend yourself,

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dumbass2

dumbass2

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This sounds great, good for you!

If you don't mind, can you share a few tips on how you practice loving yourself?

 

Forgiving yourself ,as was already mentioned in here, is a big one. Also knowing as you reflect back, that whatever it is that makes you feel unworthy, might not even be something that you need to forgive yourself for. I reflected back on my last relationship and have come to the conclusion now that I do not have anything that I need to say I'm sorry about or be forgiven for. Nothing. I was who I was, I'm not apologizing or beating myself up any longer. Now I did forgive myself for beating myself up so bad.

 

Go do some nice things for yourself. Things you maybe have never done before or it's been too long. Just going out and buying some new cloths. Go to the theater and see that movie you want and stop telling yourself that you can't go alone. Yes you can. People do it all the time. If you're a woman go to a day salon and get the works. Treat yourself to something you may not have had in awhile like a certain dessert or food. Don't let money get in the way. You're not gonna keep doing it all the time and not everything takes money, just give yourself a little something back. For the guys, go get those golf clubs you keep talking about or get yourself those lessons you wanted. Take a look around your house or apartment and find something to freshen it up. I went out and got some frames and framed a couple of pictures, a poster and an old concert shirt that I had from years ago and added a few things to my walls. What a difference. I went out and bought a pretty inexpensive 2 pc patio set that I've always wanted to get for my patio and now I can sit out there and read a book. Down the road a bit I finally went out and got myself that new mattress I wanted. I didn't spend a ton of money, but over the span of a month or so, I started doing some nice things for myself that I hadn't done in a long time and I keep doing it. Fixed that ceiling fan that was bugging me. Went through and cleaned up the crap in my garage. I was doing things that I wanted to do for myself. Things that I use to do for my ex to show her I loved HER. Little by little you do even the smallest thing to remind yourself that you are worthwhile and your happiness is not dependent on others, you and you alone control that. You have to REWARD yourself.

 

Also, one thing that happened a few months back reminded me why I am a great person and why I do like/love myself. This lady was struggling to get stuff into her car at Costco. A few had walked right by her, but not me. I took a slight detour as I was heading in and lent her a hand with the big stuff. A box had torn and some items were on the ground and I helped her with those. Doing something nice for a total stranger can do wonders for yourself. She was so grateful as it was not something she expected. A total stranger lending a helping hand.

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Dontfindme

Dontfindme

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Forgiving yourself ,as was already mentioned in here, is a big one. Also knowing as you reflect back, that whatever it is that makes you feel unworthy, might not even be something that you need to forgive yourself for. I reflected back on my last relationship and have come to the conclusion now that I do not have anything that I need to say I'm sorry about or be forgiven for. Nothing. I was who I was, I'm not apologizing or beating myself up any longer. Now I did forgive myself for beating myself up so bad.

 

Go do some nice things for yourself. Things you maybe have never done before or it's been too long. Just going out and buying some new cloths. Go to the theater and see that movie you want and stop telling yourself that you can't go alone. Yes you can. People do it all the time. If you're a woman go to a day salon and get the works. Treat yourself to something you may not have had in awhile like a certain dessert or food. Don't let money get in the way. You're not gonna keep doing it all the time and not everything takes money, just give yourself a little something back. For the guys, go get those golf clubs you keep talking about or get yourself those lessons you wanted. Take a look around your house or apartment and find something to freshen it up. I went out and got some frames and framed a couple of pictures, a poster and an old concert shirt that I had from years ago and added a few things to my walls. What a difference. I went out and bought a pretty inexpensive 2 pc patio set that I've always wanted to get for my patio and now I can sit out there and read a book. Down the road a bit I finally went out and got myself that new mattress I wanted. I didn't spend a ton of money, but over the span of a month or so, I started doing some nice things for myself that I hadn't done in a long time and I keep doing it. Fixed that ceiling fan that was bugging me. Went through and cleaned up the crap in my garage. I was doing things that I wanted to do for myself. Things that I use to do for my ex to show her I loved HER. Little by little you do even the smallest thing to remind yourself that you are worthwhile and your happiness is not dependent on others, you and you alone control that. You have to REWARD yourself.

 

Also, one thing that happened a few months back reminded me why I am a great person and why I do like/love myself. This lady was struggling to get stuff into her car at Costco. A few had walked right by her, but not me. I took a slight detour as I was heading in and lent her a hand with the big stuff. A box had torn and some items were on the ground and I helped her with those. Doing something nice for a total stranger can do wonders for yourself. She was so grateful as it was not something she expected. A total stranger lending a helping hand.

 

Hey, thank you so much for posting such an insightful response. I will definitely try to embed some, if not all, of your suggestions into my daily life.

 

I see forgiveness, kindness towards oneself and others, and little treats here and there making a difference in loving yourself. And being independent, that I have to really work on - doing things for myself. Thanks again, I really appreciate you taking the time to write this out.

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singsparkles

singsparkles

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I've come to find loving yourself does wonders for you. I've always been self-critical, ashamed, and blameworthy of everything negative happened to me. Somehow, someway, I was guilty of whatever was going on. I was very hard on myself and had no self respect or dignity.

 

Now, since the past several weeks, I found all this quickly healing. All too often do people blame themselves and if you won't love yourself first, you may be eternally doomed internally. I find positives in everything I find myself screwing up on, remind myself I'm only human. It builds confidence rather rapidly, and there's finally a calm peacefulness within me. I have more patience, look at things much differently and criticisms turn constructive. One must also remember anger is only there as a cry for help, nothing undesired. You own up to anger, and do whatever is needed to preserve peacefulness.

 

Reflect.

 

 

 

 

 

I could not agree more. :) When you love yourself, you're truly able to conquer anything in the world and do anything you want. You don't need much else when you love yourself. Anything else you happen to land on or have is just a bonus!

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preraph

preraph

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Good for you. I think there's magic in just realizing that you are in control of your own destiny and that if you don't like how you are, you are the only one who can change how you are. And then do it.

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