Anybody else never have the opportunity to meet women?

[Imported]

Contrary to popular opinion, the gym is a pretty good place to meet women. At least it is for me. I don't do any of the more social gym activities either, but if you want to meet people at the gym, spin classes seem pretty social. People waiting on those classes always seem to be jibber jabbing with each other alot before their workout starts. Kinda irratating to me, cause they are always in the way.

 

Also, I swim a lot and although I don't really get randomly social with most people in the general gym population, I know most of the people that go to my gym that also like swimming a lot.

 

You can also become one of those dreaded "cross-fitters". I think it's kinda like joining an occult, but then at least you'll have people to talk to. Although all you'll talk about is crossfit.

[MidwestUSA]

I have resorted now to seeing a psychiatrist, as it is my only hope for interacting with another human.

 

And hopefully he can subscribe me some drugs that will allow me to dose myself to sleep and avoid this waking nightmare as much as possible.

 

Yikes. If he diagnoses you with depression, please follow whatever advice he gives you, because the plan above isn't going to help. If you do manage to meet people, they're going to pick up on your attitude.

 

 

'Life is generally not worth living'? Yea, you need more help than this forum can offer.

[somegoodman]

Yikes. If he diagnoses you with depression, please follow whatever advice he gives you, because the plan above isn't going to help. If you do manage to meet people, they're going to pick up on your attitude.

 

 

'Life is generally not worth living'? Yea, you need more help than this forum can offer.

 

I think this a pretty rational conclusion to come to for someone in my situation. If every day is just a trudge through pain and disillusionment, then it only makes sense that non-existence would be preferable.

[preraph]

I think this a pretty rational conclusion to come to for someone in my situation. If every day is just a trudge through pain and disillusionment, then it only makes sense that non-existence would be preferable.

 

No. It only makes sense that if the whole world seems messed up to you, that you should continue working with your psychiatrist to fix you. I applaud you for jumping in and doing that. I hope with time, you'll feel differently. A woman isn't a cure for anything. She can't fix the depression and outlook. Once you work on that, she will be a nice addition to your life.

[d0nnivain]

I don't know what you mean by singles events / dance parties. Those are the kinds of things that you are invited to by friends and acquaintances, and as I've already established, I don't have any of those..

 

 

These are commercial events. They are usually advertised in local throw away papers or weekly papers. You can also find them on the internet. Seriously, type local singles events into your favorite browser & see what comes up.

 

 

Granted I live near NYC so there are a myriad of choices but when I was single using search engines I found a variety of events that interested me:

 

 

* a singles wine tasting dinner

 

 

* a golf group that set you up to play 18 holes with another single

 

 

* leashes & lovers -- a singles group where you could bring your pet who served as a conversation starter

 

 

* a group that got together to play board games once per month

 

 

Those things might not appeal to you but I cite them to give you examples of the diverse nature of available things.

 

 

Also have you considered taking an adult education class? I'm not taking about something academic necessarily but ballroom dancing, cooking, investing, auto repair, learning to flip houses etc.

 

 

Have you told what friends & family you do have that you are open to being fixed up? I read about a guy who posted such a request on his FB page & had lots of people trying to fix him up.

 

 

Check into joining groups like the Elks, the Moose, the Kiwanis, the Lions or your local volunteer fire department etc.

[Mirages]

Somegoodman, If a church thing is along your calling, a very large, and moderate (more liberal, etc...) church can be a first step. Employment... How about applying to a university, i.e. a very large organization, with upbeat people, that if you were to date within the org, it would be large enough to blend in; different departments, whatever. A public school job would be similar; you're not going to say that public schools lack charming 20-40y.o. women to chat with?!?

 

In the process of finding a church, or new workplace, you have a non-mystified reason to show up and ask people all sorts of questions, actually even if you are not interested in a company, show up anyhow and work them with questions. It has been my experience that these two steps are liberating, when canned in a semi-rural setting.

 

Finally there are volunteer fire/res squads, but I will say that in rural areas you might not find the maturity, personality that you seek there, it is a toss up. They typically will accept you. If you think you are up to it, there is city/county council; they will pay you a few thousand a year to vote on matters, give them a day a week or so.

 

So finding a church / workplace might not be your calling, but getting to several of either with "interviews," might be a good first step.

[Moy]

I've just joined citysocializer. Local events held regularly. I've only just joined, so I can't vouch for it but it sounds like a good place to meet friends, some of whom might even be female!

[Legatus]

It has been months since I've posted this thread and nothing has changed. Anybody else out there?

 

You're not alone.. I somehow find it difficult to meet women as well. I am quite sociable (not cocky or anything) but without good circle of friends (I moved away years ago) it's quite hard and even if I meet somebody on the street, sometimes even if you just try to talk to them they look at you like...

[somegoodman]

Anybody else out there

 

It's weird watching your life slip away in isolation, working to exist and not having anything to show for it.

 

It does get easier with time. I find that lengthy solitude hardens your heart and sort of detaches you from ordinary human concerns.

[dudemeister]

I'm almost 30 and in a similar situation. While I don't have any advice I thought I would share what has helped me.

 

A few years ago I moved to a different state where I didn't know anyone. Actually I still don't know anyone lol. Most of my social interaction is at work and all of my other time I spend alone. What helped me was to simply keep busy. In my spare time I workout 4x a week, go running or biking a few times. Work on cars and run a website. Recently scheduled a few exams to get caught up on my certifications so I've been studying like crazy. Probably the biggest help was to start traveling - visited Washington D.C for the first time and went snowboarding up north for several days. In May I plan to go bungee jumping and as soon I have my certs done I will be planning my next trip.... alone. Then there are pilot lessons, hot air balloon rides, and drag racing along with a bunch of other **** that I want to do before I'm dead.

 

My point is, I used to think like you. Then I realized that I'm not living - I'm just rotting away, letting time pass by pointlessly. F*ck that. Life is too short. Don't you have things that you want to experience?

 

Then you said something about "chief problem of never even being around women." Wrong. They are everywhere. I don't do night clubs or bars but I see tons of women in parks, grocery stores, gyms, book stores, and at work, just to name a few places. And I don't even live in a huge city.

 

Hope some of my rambling helps you out.