I 'think' she's interested in me, but I'm really not

[windows]

Hey, it's been yonks since I touched this website. Since then, I've had a whole university time I've been going through - but something's happened recently.

 

 

I'm a foreign student in a non-English country at the moment and I met a girl here and only got to know her because we needed to organize a travel trip for a large group. I just see her as another student amongst others, but towards the end of the trip she was acting a bit too... friendly towards me. (And only towards me.)

 

 

Fortunately, the trip was over, uni holidays happened, and I hoped I'd never have to see her again. But then I bumped into her again today, and she invited herself along to joining me for lunch. (I didn't want to say, "No, I don't want to have lunch with you" to her face, and had no real excuse to avoiding it.)

 

 

It was an uncomfortable lunch and I really would rather it didn't keep on happening. Now that she knows part of my timetable, (i.e. when I go for lunch on Fridays and where my class is), I'm really looking for a way to a) not lead her on, and b) make my (lack of) intentions clear. What should I do?

[preraph]

I think you may have to not have lunch where she knows where to find you or ask some other woman to lunch, even if you have to be honest and tell them why. Or you could just say no, thanks. You could even give her a reason, which she won't like: Lunch? Oh, no thanks, I'm kind of interested in someone and don't want her to see me with other women and think I'm taken.

[MisUnderstood1]

Just find a way to tell her you're not interested. I guess you're worried about hurting her feelings, but if she does like you she will feel bad when you tell her but that shouldn't stop you from being honest and doing the right thing, for yourself and for her too. You shouldn't have to force yourself to be hanging out with someone you're not interested in and she shouldn't be led on by someone who doesn't like her either (right now, your lack of straightforwardness is pretty much leading her on).

[windows]

Thanks for the advice guys. I was trying to take a 'disinterested' approach - but I can't really count on whether she would pick up on that. I'm going to start packing lunches for Fridays and stick closer to my classmates from that class.

 

 

I'll try the honesty approach when and where necessary. I don't want to jump the gun yet. She's an awkward girl so I'm really hoping this is just some really awkward attempt to make friends on her part. (Still weirds me out.)

[CC12]

I'm going to start packing lunches for Fridays and stick closer to my classmates from that class.

 

I don't think you need to change your routine in order to avoid someone. That's going a little overboard, in my opinion.

 

You should avoid spending time with her. You can do that by either doing that polite brush-off thing that we all do sometimes, or you can gently tell her you aren't interested in having lunch.

 

Me? I would do the polite brush-off and say, "Sorry, I can't have lunch today. I'm just going to go grab a quick bite and get back to work! So busy! Bye!" And repeat a version of that every time she tries to get together.