Hollywood-Tourist Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 If a man is the victim of Domestic Abuse for the first time & his girlfriend starts the abuse, does he have the right to fight back only if she physically attacked him first? This particularly applies in the UK. I mean only as in one punch if he finds himself cornered or in danger. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 (edited) I have every sympathy with you Depressed-Fiance and cannot imagine how much this situation is hurting you. You have sought advice on the matter before, so permit me to reiterate: Self-defence is not illegal in the UK. It is permissible, using reasonable force. A single retaliatory blow is acceptable, providing you do not follow through with more aggression: However, this specific issue is a grey area, because it may need more than one blow to prevent further aggressive attack on their part. But specifically in response to your question above, one punch, in response, if you find yourself in danger, is reasonable retaliatory force and perfectly acceptable. This issue has caused you untold distress and anguish. Please see if you can get some kind of help, to see you through this. Edited September 20, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I'm not sure about the UK but self defense may be applicable. It won't stop an arrest but if should prevent a conviction. Most often self defense does require the person claiming the defense to show that they retreated & they did not escalate the level of violence. You may need to speak to a lawyer / solicitor / barrister. I never remember which one goes to court in the UK. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 He would need to consult a solicitor, maybe one specialising in Family Law and abuse. A lawyer covers both a Solicitor and a barrister, in description. A lawyer is a general term that covers both solicitor and barrister. A solicitor is usually the first person that a member of the public will go to with their legal problem. A solicitor will often refer the work to a barrister for specialist advice or to appear in court to represent the client. It is also possible for certain solicitors to appear in court as advocates, if they have higher rights of audience. The judiciary is drawn from both branches of the profession. Read more here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 Thank you for your responses ladies. I will have a good read into your link to see if my case is covered regarding self defence. Link to post Share on other sites
dragon_fly_7 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 (edited) I've read your story before and is totally different than the typical ones I've been reading about the guy hitting back in anger after a slap (or lame hit) or those men saying they would knock out a woman that hits then using the ''Hit, you'll get hit like a man'' (the new version of the ''If she wouldn't have burned my meal, this wouldn't have happened) excuse to become an abuser yourself; I know a couple loveshack male members that have that mentality. These men are the reason I now get very skeptical if a man claimed self-defense. The term self-defense has obviously been misused and what those guys don't realize is they're still condoning violence. Retaliating in anger and then putting the full blame on the woman is condoning violence. You were indeed choked and scared (plus you said the lights were off). You only hit once and then stopped and the fact that you're clearly impacted by shows you're not those types of men I've mentioned. Have you try talking to a counselor about this? Edited September 20, 2014 by dragon_fly_7 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 You were indeed choked and scared (plus you said the lights were off). You only hit once and then stopped and the fact that you're clearly impacted by shows you're not those types of men I've mentioned. Have you try talking to a counselor about this? I'm a very laid back, reasonable, caring, kind & considerate man and for me even to consider raising a hand to anyone especially a woman is just sickening to me. But I stand by what I did that night because I had to, I was faced with a difficult decision where I could have been injured even further or even worse so that was the exception in which I raised a hand. Yes, I have booked to see a counsellor next week to discuss things because I am now feeling the psychological effects taking their toll on me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 DF, what is permissible or not is relevant just in general guidelines. It all boils down to what can be proven and what can't be proven in a court of law. This is why i [and others] went on about getting pics in the hospital of your injuries and maybe even get your story out first [first known story is usually the most powerful]. Not to mention that in cases of DV in UK/Canada/US it is by default assumed that the man did something to the woman, and in your situation this happened in her parent's home [they will stick by her if it comes down to it]. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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