what to say...

[cranberry]

Okay, after some thinking I decided I'm definitely not ready to settle down with one permanent bf, and since I dont wanna be an a**h*** to my current bf either, I guess I should talk to him about it.

 

Now - what do I say?

 

I have never promised to marry him or anything like that. But I didnt argue either, cuz it's not soon at all.

 

Should I hint that I'm not nearly as committed as he is? Or just let him figure it out? Do you think this commitment talk is just cuz some guys think girls are all into commited relationships?

 

I know I'm not gonna go looking but if someone new who I'll like comes along, I won't be able to resist the temptation... But then it might be the same for my bf ...

 

SOO my question is: should I say anything to him?

 

Thanks!

[Tony T]

You shouldn't hint anything. The fact that you do not feel free to come right out and tell him exactly what's on your mind is proof positive that neither of you are ready for a long term relationship that is meaningful.

 

The hallmark of a quality relationship is the ability of the two partners to communicate directly, effectively and with no guesswork involved.

 

So sit him down and tell him EXACTLY what's on your mind. Just tell him in a kind, caring way. You have no control over his response. That is his responsbility. But it IS your responsiblity to tell him just how you are feeling with regard to how he fits into your life at this time.

 

In the future, be very direct in your communication with guys you date and with people in general. Be kind, use tact and good manners but let people know just where they stand and where you stand...often, that's one in the same.

 

You don't need to tell him you're going to be looking for other guys...just that you need to be free and you don't feel ready for a steady situation at this time.

 

Whatever he does with his life is his business. Once you free him up, don't look back, don't try to control his life, and wish him well if he finds other chicks. He has just as much of a right to find other ladies as you do to find other guys.