Jump to content

Affair, divorce, and saying it would never happen...

lovinDKT3

By lovinDKT3,
in Infidelity

 Share Followers 2

Recommended Posts

lovinDKT3

lovinDKT3

Posted
Posted

DKT asked me to marry him. It was a total shock, it still doesn't feel real.

 

I know many here will think he is crazy, but I willing to spend the rest of my life proving them wrong, making him feel loved and never regret blessing me with a second chance.

 

We will be doing some prenup stuff, most importantly it will outline me handing over half my estate should be divorce as a result of infidelity on my part. He didn't ask for it, but I feel I owe him some assurance. I made/took vows before and couldn't live up to them, I won't make that mistake again.

 

For those interested in how it happened:

 

I was overseas spending some time with my sick grandmother and while there he put the finishing touches on the nursery room. I got back Thursday and all he had left was to put the crib up. He said he wouldn't get to it until Sunday. Well Sunday came and DD had softball practice (god awful game), when I returned from that he call me up and showed me the finished product. He said turn on the mobile and watch.....around comes a ring boox. Inside a note "MARRY ME" and the most beautiful princess cut platinum ring ever. I felt like I was going to pass out.

 

Then I started to cry, after all I put him through that he still loves me this much. I am a lucky woman with a great guy.

  • Like 22
Link to post
Share on other sites
atreides

atreides

Posted
Posted

Congrats! It is not for us to judge right or wrong with this... if anything i support what the betrayed want most and he chose you.. another chance in which i see as happiness for DKT3 and you... if anything you have earned it and i wish you two the best.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
lovinDKT3

lovinDKT3

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Congrats! It is not for us to judge right or wrong with this... if anything i support what the betrayed want most and he chose you.. another chance in which i see as happiness for DKT3 and you... if anything you have earned it and i wish you two the best.

 

Thank you very much

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
dichotomy

dichotomy

Posted
Posted

From what I read here on LS - I think DKT has always made the right decisions ....and I think he is now - again.

 

 

Best wishes.

Link to post
Share on other sites
goodyblue

goodyblue

Posted
Posted

I don't think anyone here thinks he is making the wrong choice. I think it is so wonderful that you have found happiness together again. I k OW I am from the other side of the "camp" but I think a lot of us have been rooting for you guys. Congrats!

Link to post
Share on other sites
revelations

revelations

Posted
Posted
We will be doing some prenup stuff, most importantly it will outline me handing over half my estate should be divorce as a result of infidelity on my part. He didn't ask for it, but I feel I owe him some assurance.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

This above is something most women do not do nor understands how much of a risk a man takes when getting married. However getting married to the same woman after she has cheated is a major risk. You lovinDKT3 are taking a big step to show DKT3 that you just want him and nothing else.

 

 

Congratulations on proposal and I really hope it works out for you two. That was very cute the way he popped the question to you. I would normally tell you not to screw it up, that not many women get a second chance.

I know many here will think he is crazy, but I willing to spend the rest of my life proving them wrong, making him feel loved and never regret blessing me with a second chance.
I think with this statement you already know that and will do your best to prove he made the right choice. However a little butt kissing still won't hurt. The one knee approach is best because it puts the booty right at lip level.:lmao:

 

I have to tease you a little. I am sure you will do your best to show DKT3 with your actions that you are truly grateful for the second chance. However a nice kiss and a hug and a whisper in his ear of "Thank you for the second chance" always goes a long ways.

Link to post
Share on other sites
thummper

thummper

Posted
Posted (edited)
WTF is a DKT ?

 

Always kinda wondered that myself. :-) Anyway, congratulations, Lovin'. I wish you two nothing but happiness. Sorta puts a lump in this old throat.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fixed quote
Link to post
Share on other sites
compulsivedancer

compulsivedancer

Posted
Posted

Rooting for you. I'm glad you've been able to rebuild after all these years.

 

DKT is her husband's user name.

Link to post
Share on other sites
DKT3

DKT3

Posted
Posted

It was after a conversation with my mother (who came to stay while lovin was in Wales) that it became clear.

 

She pointed out all the things I did to her while we were divorce, which was really emotionally abusive, yet she stayed the course. She pointed out how she totally shut down a part of being a woman feeling desired, wanted and love while watching me run around with tons of women and even coming close to re marrying. Then the topper of how I would pull her in then push her away.

 

My mother gripped my face with both hands and said "marry that girl, because you will never find a woman who loves you more, sure she messed up but do you think after all that has happened she would ever do anything like that again? I don't, and you would be crazy to think she would" and walked away.

 

I don't think I've ever posted about how much of a wreck I was after I divorced her, how much I doubted the decision or feared she would find someone else. I think somewhere in me I never wanted to leave.

 

This is the only woman for me, always has been.

  • Like 11
Link to post
Share on other sites
BetrayedH

BetrayedH

Posted
Posted

It's seems it's time for shedding of some old titles around here. No more WW or BH for you two. Initially I thought you'd each earned your "f" to be fWW and fBH.

 

Instead, you get to replace those with fiance'.

 

:)

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Buckeye2

Buckeye2

Posted
Posted (edited)

This is indeed wonderful news and congratulations to both of you. To me this was the ideal way to R. I know that I could handle R much better if I were to divorce.

 

Divorcing her helps you regain your emotional equilibrium and begins to repair your self-esteem. Ending the marriage is you taking positive action instead of just reacting to the horrible thing she has done.

 

Divorce openly acknowledges the life altering event infidelity is. The WS pays a price and can earn their way back.

 

If someone pays a price there is less need to constantly beat them over the head verbally for what they did. If someone robbed a bank and spent years in jail for it there is less reason to tell them over and over that they robbed a bank. They know that they did.

 

The BS is now a prize that the WS has to earn instead of someone who just put up with their WS's actions.

 

My mother gripped my face with both hands and said "marry that girl, because you will never find a woman who loves you more, sure she messed up but do you think after all that has happened she would ever do anything like that again? I don't, and you would be crazy to think she would" and walked away.

Edited by Buckeye2
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
DKT3

DKT3

Posted
Posted
This is indeed wonderful news and congratulations to both of you. To me this was the ideal way to R. I know that I could handle R much better if I were to divorce.

 

 

 

Divorce openly acknowledges the life altering event infidelity is. The WS pays a price and can earn their way back.

 

If someone pays a price there is less need to constantly beat them over the head verbally for what they did. If someone robbed a bank and spent years in jail for it there is less reason to tell them over and over that they robbed a bank. They know that they did.

 

The BS is now a prize that the WS has to earn instead of someone who just put up with their WS's actions.

 

Even though I was scared of and a wreck because the divorce, it did four things that for us made where we are today possible.

 

1) she now knows that I will NOT accept any behavior from her and stay

 

2) it forced me to see my flaws, faults and shortcomings as a husband and father

 

3) made it so very clear that I want/wanted her. Even after several years I pick a part every woman I was involved with. The one I had the commitment with was so similar to her that is was funny. At a point during that relationship I had to ask what was my attraction? The 70% her that reminded me of lovin of the 30% that was different.

 

4) its totally unhealthy to be as co-dependant as we were upon one another. As a therapist told us "its hard not to be when you've grown up together and faced every part of that process as one" and we did from the first car, to high school graduation, to college, graduation, first job, first house, first child it was all together. The divorce made us face things and grow as individuals. I think in a way she became lost in me as she put all her focus on me and then in the kids. She gave up so much of who she was and wanted to be. All of which went un-noticed by me.

 

We have some work ahead, we both understand that and our focus is there TOGETHER. I'm happy with where we are and the direction we are going. I've even seen major improvement in her spoiled princess routine (although I had enabled it for years).

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
DKT3

DKT3

Posted
Posted
WTF is a DKT ?

 

ME

 

D=lovins name

 

K=sons name

 

T=daughters name

 

3=the three most important things in my life

 

Under contruction to add fourth letter to a very large tat that takes up about half of my torso.

 

Lovin always says no more tat, but its only one? Right? No its about 30 that I call one.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
Spectre

Spectre

Posted
Posted
I don't think anyone here thinks he is making the wrong choice. I think it is so wonderful that you have found happiness together again. I k OW I am from the other side of the "camp" but I think a lot of us have been rooting for you guys. Congrats!

 

 

I think it is 100% the wrong choice, so what you are saying is not true, but this is not the time or place for that discussion.

 

That said, congratulations to the OP nonetheless.

Link to post
Share on other sites
 Share
Followers 2
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...